Hey, I just came across this today. I'm glad that you have decided to go along with this.
I had the same response, when my FI told his mother, the first thing she said was "That's Crazy". Not "I'm glad you're getting married", "Congratulations", or anything like that. "That's Crazy" is all she said. He and his mother really got into it over that. He said he doesn't even want her to come to the wedding. I'm sure he'll change his mind.
My whole thought is thought is that we have been together 11 years, three kids down the line and no one is contributing to the cost of the wedding. Who has 10s of thousands of dollars to have a big wedding at home to accomodate people here who are only going to criticize what you do anyway.
We were conscience of the resort we chose to accomodate everyones budget (under $1000 total).
And on top of that, we are giving everyone over a year to plan and pay for it. Anyone who really wants to be there to share your wedding day with you will be there. If they're not there, they didn't want to be there anyway. Grant it, we know that some people will not be able to come but we know who's sincere and who's not.
Screw those negative people!!!!