I am sooo sorry that you are going through this. 1st communicate, communicate, communicate. without it your marriage is going to struggle. I have been through this.....it is not FUN. You need to put your foot down and tell him that he needs to sit down and talk like 2 adults without the kids.........When men lose their jobs they dont feel as if they are any value, they loose self esteem and everthing goes crazy....I wish you the best with him or without him. Stand tall and stay strong for yourself and tiy babies.