GracieBebe

Ok, we just had this sort of thing happened to us twice now! One friend invited herself and her b/f and already bought flights. Not sure how she got the idea she was invited since she knows it's an exclusive invite list due to the limit of bedrooms we have available and we are having an AHR for everyone else. Maybe she assumed since we spoke about the wedding around her? That's fine b/c we had other people drop out so we had the room. But then, this friend usually does invitations for free for her friends as her wedding gift so she offered to do ours. I thought that was really sweet of her and showed her the invites we were interested in. They are little scrolls with wooden scroll rods (I know, very Cinderella/Hear Ye, Hear Ye but I'm going for the whole fairytale theme, castle and all). She tells us that as long as we pay for the rods, she can do them. What?? I mean, we're only ordering 20 invites. Scroll rods probably cost about $1/pair. She really couldn't spring $20 for her gift? I mean, I wasn't even expecting a gift from her. She offered! And then she's expecting me to pay for part of it too? Not to mention, we're providing accommodations for all of our guests for the entire week. That's about $2500-3000 per couple. Plus breakfast is included every morning. Plus the reception dinner which is $200 per plate! Seriously, am I out of line here?? But the 2nd one galls me. 2 of our friends (a couple) who were also not invited to the wedding assumed they would be invited (b/c they will be in Paris at the tail end of their honeymoon so they will make a 1 day pit stop at our wedding before they head back home). What could we say? They were already in the area and they're making our wedding cake for us for our AHR (5 tiers!). But then, here's the clincher. 1 of them asked if they could bring their niece and her b/f who both live in Paris to the wedding! WTF?? We don't even know them!! And that's another $200 per plate per person! We were so taken off guard, all we could stammer out was sure, I guess that's ok.

We always took our passports with us everywhere whether we are on a cruise or any vacation, but we got one of those small waterproof cases so that if we get wet, the passports, our cc's, and money stayed dry. FH has swimtrunks that have zippered pockets so he always put the case in there. Worked great!

We plan on having our AHR before we leave for our DW, like Kimmy G said, kinda like a send off party. Because we're getting married early Sept, by the time we have the wedding and honeymoon, it'll be late Sept and we're not sure how the weather will be like in New England, cuz it can get a little chilly to do an outdoor picnic sometimes by then. As for the work involved, I'm hoping some of my friends will help me prep everything (i.e. my bridal party, LOL). BJ's is like a Sams club or Costco, so we're hoping to get a lot of things at a discount. And our friend can hopefully hook us up since he's a food distributor. I think alcohol will definitely be our biggest expense, but I have yet to see any of our friends get really drunk or trashed at any of our parties (we usually host 4th of July and you'd think they'd drink a lot then but they're not big drinkers) so I don't think an AHR picnic is going to be any different, especially if people have to drive afterwards. In fact, FI and I are prob the ones who are more likely to outdrink our friends. I will definitely keep everyone posted to let you know if we can pull it off!

Hi Everyone, It's been really interesting to read everyone's responses! I think you're right and we may have to rethink our AHR budget. But I'm hoping I can still keep it close to the original budget. We have a friend who works for a food distributor and so he said he can get us a huge deal on the food. Liquor might cost a bit, but none of our friends are really big drinkers so I'll have to really think about that. As for soda/drinks, plates, and utensils, we plan to get in bulk at BJ's. I can get a 200 fork box for about $10-15. I can buy 8 boxes of pasta in bulk for a total of about the same price or less which should easily cover 200 people. I'll have to see how good of a deal our friend can get us on the rest of the food. I plan to prepare most of the food myself and then we'll hire someone to man the grills for 3-4 hrs so our friends and family won't be working/cooking during the party. I guess I'll figure out more as I get closer to the date.

Hi Everyone, It's been really interesting to read everyone's responses! I think you're right and we may have to rethink our AHR budget. But I'm hoping I can still keep it close to the original budget. We have a friend who works for a food distributor and so he said he can get us a huge deal on the food. Liquor might cost a bit, but none of our friends are really big drinkers so I'll have to really think about that. As for soda/drinks, plates, and utensils, we plan to get in bulk at BJ's. I can get a 200 fork box for about $10-15. I can buy 8 boxes of pasta in bulk for a total of about the same price or less which should easily cover 200 people. I'll have to see how good of a deal our friend can get us on the rest of the food. I plan to prepare most of the food myself and then we'll hire someone to man the grills for 3-4 hrs so our friends and family won't be working/cooking during the party. I guess I'll figure out more as I get closer to the date.

Hi All, We are also currently planning an AHR and I was just curious on how much people spent on theirs. FH gave me a strict budget of $1000 for approx. 150-200 people (depending on if we invite his extended family, i.e. cousins, etc.). We already spent $200 on the picnic/park location, and we're getting the wedding cake as a gift from one of our friends. So I'm wondering if I can do booze and food for $800 for that many people. I'm thinking just burgers, hotdogs, chicken, ribs, salads, slaw, rolls, and wedding cake for dessert. Tons of beer and some liquor for margaritas and mixed drinks. What do you think girls? TIA!

Not sure if your question was for me or the original poster, but yes, we are flying from JFK to NTE (France) for our wedding. Then we go from NTE to London, then London to Amsterdam, and then Amsterdam back to JFK. For that many legs of the trip, we actually got an awesome deal on airfare. We booked our airfare as early as we possibly could (330 days in advance) and got the entire flight plan for approx. $1370 per person! We now have friends who are looking for roundtrip only from JFK to NTE and back, and they are find the prices to be $1100/person. And, if you're not particular about what hotel you stay in as long as it's a certain star rating, I definitely recommend using the Bid Your Own Price on Priceline. We were able to book all of our 5 star hotel accommodations for approx. $150/night. Some of these rooms went for $300+/night so we thought we got a pretty amazing deal! Where in Europe do you want to go? My mom and sister just booked their airfare and are planning on touring Europe after our wedding. Their airfare from LAX and their European tour which starts in London and ends up in Paris (6 countries plus Venice and Paris) was about $2750/person. That includes flying into NTE for the wedding, then flying from NTE to London, and then the tour (includes meals) which ends in Paris and then flying from Paris back to LAX. That also includes transfers to and from the airports in Europe. I hope I haven't overloaded you with info. Just trying to help!

I don't think it matters when you decide to have your AHR so if you want to do it 6 months from your wedding, go ahead. We are actually having ours 3 wks before our wedding so that we can have it outdoors and have nice weather. By the time we have our wedding and get back from our honeymoon, we're not sure if the weather will be warm enough or too cool to have an outdoor bbq-style picnic. Gotta love New Englad weather!

OMG! You have the same wedding date as we do!!! YAY!!! Congrats! You're honeymoon sounds fabulous!!! We're also doing our honeymoon in Europe too. Only difference is, we're also doing our wedding there too. 7 nights in France (wedding week), 3 nights in London, and 5 nights in Amsterdam!

We spent about $160 on each BM for a garnet pendant necklace with pave diamonds on a white gold chain. We are also paying for their accommodations which is about $2500 per couple, but I guess that doesn't really count as a bridal party gift since we are doing that for all of our guests.

I don't mean to play devil's advocate, but was you father sick for a while? Sometimes, when a spouse knows that the other is terminal, they start to go through the grieving process well before the other spouse has passed away, and by the time they do pass away, the surviving spouse is ready to move on much quicker. I have heard that this is often a common thing that happens through long illnesses and that many times, the children of the deceased parent are only initially starting their grief when their parent passes away while the surviving spouse has finished their grief because they already went through it during the illness. I know this doesn't help much, but I hope it provides some insight.

Hi mmacrae! I saw your post that said you own a timeshare at The Point at Poipu. I tried to send you a PM but couldn't so I'm writing it here. We just traded into The Point for Dec! We're so excited!!! Can you tell me more about the place? What stuff is there to do around there? What did you mean when you wrote the red flag is usually up at the beach? Is the beach in front of the Hyatt available for Point guests to use? Any info would be most helpful and appreciated! Thank you!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That really sux that he had to be that way! You are wayyyyyy better off without him! At least you can use the excuse that the alchohol made him act that way. My FH's own twin brother told him that our wedding couldn't come at a worst time and that we were selfish for wanting to have a destination wedding and why does FH want to even get married for? WTF?? And he was dead sober when he said this! This from a guy who is so anti-marriage but lives with his g/f of 8+ years, buys a house with her, and then tells his own mother that he's not committed to his g/f in any way. Can you say delusional?? People just have no consideration these days!

Quote: Originally Posted by fitnessfi That would be great! If they have a website, even better. Also it would help if they spoke english as my french is aweful! Thanks for the help. F x Thank goodness you had me ask my WC about photographers! She informs me that the original person we booked forgot and booked another wedding in Thailand around the same time!!!! Argh!!!! Luckily, she found us another photographer, Javon Longieliere. He will also be in France during the time of our wedding and has agreed to do our photos. He also did our WC's daughter's wedding so if she thinks he's good enough for her own daughter, he must be all right. His website is Javon Longieliere Photography 770-715-4410 Atlanta Valdosta Destination Georgia. Unfortunately, she didn't have any photographers who were local. The other photographer she uses is Duncan Kerridge and he is from England. His website is Duncan Kerridge Photography. Sorry I couldn't find more info.

Quote: Originally Posted by fitnessfi Hi GracieBebe Just wanted to ask who you have got as your photographer? Have you found someone yourself or did your WC reccommend someone to you? Thanks Fi Our WC suggested a photographer she has worked with on other weddings who is from Australia but will be in France during the time of our wedding. His name is Daniel Griffiths and his website is Sydney Wedding Photographer - Daniel Griffiths Photography and the photos he has on there look amazing!!! He was one of 2 photojournalists chosen to shoot they Sydney Olympics! I thought that was pretty cool. He is a bit pricey though. Our WC also has 2 other photographers she uses also that I believe are local to France. I can ask her what their names are if you are interested. Let me know. :-)

Quote: Originally Posted by sarafish81 LOL I completely agree with that! My cat lives here, and you don't. Simple as that. And no, I'm not going to lock him in a closet for the duration of your visit. LOL! Try having to deal with that when it's your own mother. My mom won't come to visit us until we get rid of our cats, even temporarily. As much as I love my mother and we have a pretty good relationship, I am not removing our cats!!!!!!! I guess she won't be visiting any time soon!!!

Anyone interested?

Very funny!!! But who's to say she's not sleeping somewhere else that's not Brian's room? LOL!

Quote: Originally Posted by Positanobride10 I am all about adding a Europe sub-forum. I am really glad I began this thread. I am really glad I have gotten to chat with and/or see responses from people who are getting married in Europe. I have gotten great advise as getting married in Europe is different from Mexico, Hawaii, and the other tropical destinations. I am hoping to see more Italy brides in the future since I am chose Italy. One can hope, right? I did find great Europe wedding advise on trip advisor. I think I found my coordinator, just need my FH to say ok as we are both paying for this wedding. I also found great hotels, restaurants, things to do, etc. Best of luck to all! That's so great that you found a WC!!! Who'd you end up going with? At least that's one less thing to stress about!

I just read a post from Heather007 who has the post wedding blues and wishes she had more time with her hubby during her honeymoon, which made me wonder how many of you who have done the DW wish you had a private honeymoon with just the 2 of you or are glad you had a honeymoon with all your family and friends?

Quote: Originally Posted by fitnessfi WOW WOW WOW............. can't think of anything else to say about your venue! Im so jealous now! That is so stunning, its breath taking!!!!! I love your website too, Im going to steal your idea for page on learning french, brilliant idea! Ok back to what I was going to say, (still stunned by that chateau!) Yes most of our wedding party are going to stay with us in the chateau but we have overflow accommodation nearby. Our guest numbers are about 40 so have provided a different range of accommodation for them to fit in with everyones budget. We are not paying for everyone as we can't afford it and most of our guests will only be travelling from the UK and therefore can get cheap flights. Oh and I noticed that you are getting married a day before my birthday! You must be soooo excited by now, not long to go. What are you giving for favors? Are you having a traditonal French wedding cake? This is a great thread, so glad I have found some French brides! Fi x Oh Thank you!!! You are so sweet!!! I totally understand what you mean about budget cuz all FH can talk about now is how much this wedding is costing us and what we could've done with the money instead. LOL! Because we're taking care of everyone's accommodations, we are letting them know that that is their wedding favor from us. We are having a traditional french wedding cake. I think it's called a croquem bouche? Since we're avid chocolate lovers, our WC said she can have it be chocolate. We've never tried one before, so we hope we like it. We are also having an very low key AHR where I'm trying to convince FH that we should have a traditional wedding cake. We'll see if I can talk him into it. Will you be doing a traditional cake or a French wedding cake? Have you done your STD's yet? Have you gone dress shopping yet? You must be so excited to get started!!! And I totally agree, I'm so glad we're finding more French brides! We should totally ask to have a Europe sub-forum...I see that there's every Caribbean location and Hawaii, and Cruise brides, but no Europe! What's up with that??

Have you thought about doing a sunset cruise that serves cocktails and h'ors doeuvres?

Quote: Originally Posted by DTHSLove Priceline is very good if you know how to work it. Make sure to have your printed itinerary with you when you travel.. Good point! I will be sure to remember to do that! Thx!

Quote: Originally Posted by fitnessfi Hello Hannah Sounds like you are going to have a great wedding! We are also doing a wedding weekend, as everyone is travelling from all over the world. We are not doing the legal bit in France as the paperwork is complicated and we wanted a easy life! LOL.... Im not using a wedding planner, although the lady that owns the chateau speaks french and is going to help organise the caterers etc. I am trying to make a lot of things to keep the budget down. Lucky for us we don't have to pay corkage, we are having a pay bar and providing guests with champagne drink, wine with the meal and toast drink, after that they can pay for their own!! I have picked the venue over the internet but not actually visited the chateau. I am travelling over to France in June with my mum to visit for the first time. I am really excited about it, as it looks lovely! Our date is June next year, which my H2B thinks is a long time away!! Here's the website for the venue, what do you think? Welcome to Chateau Dumas, large 18th century chateau South West France Fi x Hi! As Hannah has mentioned above, we are also getting married in France in a chateau in the Loire Valley (located near Angers and Nantes). Your chateau looks so beautiful and contemporary! I bet you are so excited! We also found our chateau through the internet. I found a lot of chateaux online, but when FH saw pics of the one we picked, he knew that was the place we wanted. You can see pics of our chateau on our wedding website (link is in my siggy), or you can see pics of the place at Chateau de Challain, home of castle weddings France | Where fairytales begin | Chateau, Castle, One, France, Her. Hope you like it! We too are only doing a symbolic ceremony because the legalities in France are complicated and will have a private legal ceremony here in the States. Our chateau owner is also a wedding coordinator and we are using her to plan our whole wedding. She has been absolutely wonderful and extremely helpful! Are all of your guests staying at the chateau with you? We are limiting our guest count because our chateau can only accommodate a max of 34 people and because we want everyone to stay at the same location (for convenience purposes), we have let all of our guests know that their accommodations will be taken care of. Because of the distance and cost of the trip, we hoped it would ease the burden for our guests. Anyway, best wishes on your planning! I look forward to reading more about it! :-)

Oh wait, I just saw that you were in Canada. Don't know if they ship there. Check it out.