I would strongly suggest that you talk to them. If their work is what you want then try to work it out. After all isn't that what a contract is about?
Since I am a photographer I do not really understand why they would address different terms then what was agreed upon verbally. Verbal contracts, are legal contracts, it is just difficult to "proove" what was said. By no means should you settle after what was originally agreed upon. I will write statements to each of your numbers.
1. I am not sure their reasoning behind this. After reading the other terms you posted, I am not sure they would have a reason. I would ask.
2. They will not be able to control this (as you put it). It is a copyright issue. Ultimately they own the rights to the pictures. Some photographers are really picky about things like this. The way I look at it, is that it is a digital time and everyone knows how to use the computer, if they want to save themselves money let them do it. No different than buying carpet and putting it down yourself to save. That is just how I run my business though and I offer options of designing albums or giving clients the right to make their own (heck I even send them links for places they can go to do this). I think photographers will move to this in time.
3. Again, copyright. Just because you buy the disc doesn't mean you can do what you want. Just like when you buy a car. Why do they make it go up to 120 when it is against the law to drive that fast. Does not make sense.
4.Copyright. They have the rights to say how the images are used. Not sure why they would give you a CD and not let you do anything with it though. That is just mind boggling.
Sorry that you have to experience that. I would talk to them about it if it is someone you really want. Otherwise I would take your business elsewhere. If you are already having these issues from the start, that should send up red flags to you about possible future issues.
Goodluck and let us know what you find out or decide to do!