Quote: Originally Posted by GracieBebe I agree with all of the above posters. Also, what he's doing to you is a form of verbal abuse because it tears down your self esteem and is emotional manipulation.
I am so very very sorry that you are going through this, sweetie. My heart is truly breaking for you. My post may be long, but I think it is important. Some of this may hurt to hear, but please listen. Here is my take on the situation based on what you've told.
As was said above, the way he is talking to you is abuse. It may not be visible on the outside, but it is abuse. Honestly, I feel it is the worst kind of abuse. I know from experience.
You can (and should) have a good talk with him. BUT, it really does need to come in the form of being under supervision of a counselor/therapist, etc. That part is important, because from what you've wrote, if you do it alone I believe that he is only going to cut you down and make you feel like you are the one who is wrong.
You don't need that, not now, not ever! If he refuses to see someone to work things out, it is time for you to move on.
I realize you say you don't know who you are without him. Trust me when I say, I understand this feeling. It is probably one of the worst feelings to get over, but I promise, it will pass. You don't realize who you are without him because he has convinced you that you are nothing without him. Don't believe it, dear!! It is the furthest from the truth!!!
No man in love with a woman should ever feel embarrassed by her. If he cannot or will not change this, he's not the man you deserve, and by far, he does not deserve you.
If things cannot be worked out between the two of you, I am sorry. It will be a difficult thing for you to walk away, but you will come out a stronger woman. Put on some upbeat, woman-rising-to-the-top type music, it's crazy how much it can help!
Finally...a strong reason I sense he's emotionally abusing you...feeling you need to apologize to us for posting this thread. Sweetie, all of us here, on BDW, are here for you every step of the way and never do you need to apologize for needing a shoulder to cry on!
Hang in there and keep us posted. We're worried about you and would love to know if you're doing okay.