I do appreciate everyones thoughts on this. It is nice to see different points of view, and I totally understand them. The biggest problem I have with him not paying his deposit yet is that he was told back in Oct to start saving, and he hasn't. Not only has he not done any saving, he has gone on 3 trips this year, all which we were expected to watch his 3 girls, bought a boat, a riding lawn mower and has money to go to the VLT's. I have talked to FI and if his brother isn't in the wedding party, he won't be heart broken, and he already told him that he better get the deposit in, and then told him if doesn't want to go, then he should just say so! He can't afford $250 right now for just his deposit, but he plans to have about $7000 paid off by the end of Sept?
My Mom is making the bridesmaid dresses, and if both him and FI other friend book and are in the wedding party, then FBIL's FI will stand up for me as well to even it out. I don't want my Mom to sew a dress it isn't going to be needed, and I don't want her to have to rush and get one done right before we leave. He was asked in Oct to be in the wedding and was told to save his $, and when we booked in March, he was told about it right away and was told to pay the deposit. The way I see it, how can you commit to a wedding if you can't commit to the trip involved with the wedding?
FBIL gets paid on the 17th and the 31st, so I would think that he should at least be able to pay his deposit, and he can worry about the girls deposits once he knows if they can come too.