Veronica8

Thank you all, very much. I appreciate reading your impartial advice. I will just stick this through and let him heal. I think I will encourage him to talk with a therapist as well. Thanks again!

Hi Ladies: am hoping I can get advice about a very delicate situation. My boyfriend and I are not engaged yet, but are definitely on the path toward marriage. We've talked about this and think we will be engaged later this year and get married next year. But I am not in a rush and glad to take our time. He got divorced last year. To make a long story short: he had a very unhappy marriage and discovered his wife was having an extra-marital affair for the last year of their marriage. They were married for 3 years. Of course he was very hurt, but they had a relatively quick and seamless divorce. The month of April has been a very difficult month for us. First, our dog was terribly ill and in the animal hospital for a week, then both his grandfathers passed away on the same week, and then last week he had to see his ex-wife for the first time in over 10 months to sign some financial documents at his attorney's office. Needless to say, he has been under a lot of emotional stress and seeing her again did not help. After he had that meeting with his ex-wife, I asked him how he felt. He told me that he felt peaceful because he loves me and knows that his last marriage was wrong for him. He said that he felt good because he felt that he was able to completely close the chapter of his first marriage and move toward a future with me. Well, as the days went on, and the grief of losing his grandfathers hit him harder and harder, I noticed that he seemed to be very angry. This past weekend, he finally exploded. He told me that although he let go of his ex-wife before he even met me, that he is happy to have her our of his life, that he loves me very much, he still cannot stop himself from feeling a tremendous amount of rage toward his ex. She cheated on him and was very cruel and upfront about it. And now he feels overwhelmed. When he discovered her affair, he never lost his cool. He was hurt, of course, but he never got angry. He accepted that they had a love-less marriage and just let her go. Well, now all of the anger is coming up. I tried to be his friend and listen to him rage about everything she did and how much she disrespected him, but there is only so much that I can handle as his current girlfriend. I understand the anger, but I am not the person he needs to help him work that out. I can't handle that. And at the same time, he doesn't want me to see him so angry. So we are taking a few days apart for him to blow off some steam with his friends and for me to have some "me" time as well. I knew that dating a divorced man would have its own set of challenges. I expected that there would be a time when all of the insecurities caused by her infidelities would have an affect on our relationship. So now I want to give him the space to heal and vent, but I also feel very sad and very confused. Have any of you been through this or something similar before? He assures me that he does not miss her, that he does not want anything to do with her, but that this is just bottled up anger that he needs to vent. And he thinks that if he vents to me, then all of that negative energy he feels toward his ex is going to poison our relationship. I am giving him space, but I feel so scared. Any advice?

Welcome and happy planning!!

Welcome!! Happy planning!!

Welcome! Happy planning.

Happy planning! Yay - another NY gal on the board!!

Welcome and happy planning!!

Happy planning!!

All three are beautiful! I especially love the AHR dress.

Wow! Your dress is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks, everyone!! I am so glad to have found this forum.

Hello! I am new to the forum and would like to introduce myself. Although we are not technically engaged yet (no ring), my boyfriend and I are on the path toward marriage and have decided that when the time comes we will hold a destination wedding in Mexico. I thought it was a good idea to start researching early. Mostly so that I can get an idea of what things cost and start saving up now. This site is so informative, I know that it's a good place to start.