Dez921714

LOL OMG TOOO FUNNY!! I agree with Rachel though...if they put something in writing "toyota" or a pic of a car, she might have a case.... It's still really freakin funny!

Molly is adorable! Both of her parents are fair with blue eyes, so I'm pretty sure those are there to stay I have another picture of her with peas all over her face LOL I also think it's really cool that my friends don't let having an infant keep them from doing things. They just take her Their motto is "we'll see how it goes..if it goes THAT bad, then we know to avoid it" LOL The view up there is amazing! I love Western NY and wine country (as they call it). This was the second wine tour I took FI on. Before the first one, he had no idea how you'd get drunk...after all, they are tiny shots they pour LOL Famous last words.... Actually, he isn't a big wine drinker and before we did the tour hardly ever drank it at all. But after doing the first one, he had tasted a variety of wines and figure out which ones he liked more than the others. Now he knows he likes Blush wines and sweeter wines and stuff. Yeah, it was a good weekend

Quote: Originally Posted by SoontobeMrsE I just read this and thought it was posted this morning - I was thinking - Dez is JACKED UP! She got him all liquored up at the wine tasting and then told him no nookie?!?...I would be mad too! LOLOL!! Haha...he got "some" just not the full package ;-)

Yep! Pretty much dramaless except for when my friend asked what was next with the wedding plans and I said "not much, we just have to wait for things to get closer" and FI had a snyde comment about "yeah right"...but other than that it was good

So, some of my friends live in Rochester, NY and have a house on one of the finger lakes. One of our favorite past times when we were in college was to do a wine tour FI and I went up this weekend to visit hang out at the lake and do the Keuka Lake wine tour...I know how everyone on here likes pics soooo.... Oh, and my friends have a 7 month old..it was her first wine tour FI and I being silly Molly's First wine tour Penny & I Molly playing with the string on my shirt...hey, it kept her happy LOL FI and I Penny, Corey & Molly...a cute little family FI and I...can you tell his eyes are only half open? LOL

Hey ladies I'm just checking in to see if anyone is still doing this and how you ladies who did it last week are doing So, FI and I took a week off because we were going away this past weekend...We were careful all week, but during the weekend, not so much...Well, we were both shocked that we only gained about 3 lbs back each. I made a new batch of soup last nigth and we are starting again today...July 4th will be a beef day, so that should make it a little easier to stick to. How are you guys doing?

Whooohoooo! Happy Birthdays!

I third it! This is rediculous! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Hang in there! You'll get through it...they say buying a house and getting married are two of the most stressful things...So doing them at the same time, it's no wonder you're about to blow. One day at a time and take a break from the wedding stuff if you can! **HUG**

I fwd him stuff about the DJ in Mexico (sent it to him yesterday). He just checked his email and tried talking to me about it LOL You GOT to be kidding! I guess he figured otu by my "yes" "no" answeres that I didn't really want to talk about it.

Quote: Originally Posted by nikkianddean Oh Dez, this is so unfair. It sounds like you have tried to be very supportive and it's terrible you are strating to feel this way about the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Do you think there is any chance he will get back on his medication properly? It sounds like from what you & Karma are saying that he will not be reasonable and able to discuss this fairly until he's taking his pills again... I really am sorry you are going thru this... By cutting them in half, he has enough for 2 months...so maybe another month and a half or so and then he HAS to make an appointent with the Psychatrist for a refill...so we will see. I'll give it some more time. Unlike him wanting me to change (the messyness) I know what his faults are and accept them. I love him. But there's only so much you can take even when you love the person. Thank you all for being here for me. I put off posting about this because I'm embarassed and stuff, but it has helped to talk about it.

Quote: Originally Posted by Hartyt509 If you really feel that strongly about it - and him not taking care of his own health needs is interferring with everything spell it out to him very clearly. You are not putting up with his crap if he isn't willing to help himself you can't do anymore. Stand firm - as harsh as it sounds he needs a right royal kick up the arse and unfortunately you need to do it. I'd also tell his family to keep him out of the loop of whatever they are bitching about because its killing his life. You're strong you'll lose the weight and beat his ass into submission I have faith in you xx I love how blunt you are and you always make me laugh lol

Quote: Originally Posted by FutureMrsB Ok, now that we have a little more back story, I can see why he might be acting like this. I really think before anything else you need to get him back on his proper dosage of medication. If he stopped the pills suddenly he was not properly weaned and it can cause him to go into a deeper depression. I'm assuming it's depression that he is going through. He needs to get back on a therapeutic dosage before he can even think about working through problems. People who are depressed don't think rationally and the more stress you put on them the more they shut down. I think you are doing a great job in being there for him and I know once he starts feeling better he is going to appreciate you so much. Just try to not take any of it personal. I'm working on becoming a psychologist, and have been around a lot of depressed people. I know it's difficult, hang in there. Thanks! I'll try not to take it personally but it's really hard. I convinced him to get his prescription filled and then I got annoyed when he cut them in half and he yelled at me for getting annoyed and told me not to worry about his pills. So that's the last I said to him about it and the last I will say to him about it. I told him last year that if any of my friends were with a man and being treated the way I was being treated, I'd tell them to get out of that relationship...it kinda opened his eyes and he finally went to a therapist. I'm starting to feel that way again and it's not a good feeling.

Welcome to the Forum! Happy Planning!

Quote: Originally Posted by Maura dez, have you ever had your thyroid checked? Several times...it's fine...I wish I could blame a medical reason...but it's because I used to walk a lot and be really careful what I ate...I don't walk as much not and I picked up FI's eating habbits

UGH! He doesn't want to go to therapy...because "he just got out of therapy"

But I am embarassed and I am uncomfortable and he doesn't seem to get it

I had lost over 70lbs before we met and was the thinnest I've ever been...so while putting on 100lbs is a lot, it's just like putting back on the weight I had lost and then a little more. My eating habbits just went back to being bad. I've been checked for health reasons for my weight my whole life. They never found any.

We've been off the diet this week...he wants to go back on next week. One of our big issues is (sorry if this is TMI) our sex life...I've literally put on 100lbs since we met...so I'm not exactly the same as I was...he's put a lot on too and it's the same for him. So to some degree the diet has helped and we were able to do it together. He takes it personally when I say "no"...I'm working 2 jobs, trying to plan a wedding on my own and coordinate people who need help booking their flights, I'm helping otu my older neighbor who's alone and her even older dad is in the hospital, I'm taking care of the dogs, paying the bill and doing what I can around the house. He thinks that because I work from home I have all the time in the world and the house should be spotless. Looking up therapists now...

Yay! Congratulations and welcome back!!! So glad you had a Great time!!!

Ladies, thank you for all the words. I know we need to go to some kind of counceling, so I'll look into that on Monday. A little background...FI grew up in (for lack of a better phrase) an emotionally abusive house. When we met, he was living in a friends basement and hadn't spoken to his dad in 8 months. Fast forward a little...things have worked out, he and his dad have a decent relationship now. Last April, FI had a break down. He was put on some meds and therapy. Well, he thought it was time to be off his meds, so he stoped taking them. I noticed the difference in him and asked then I basically told him "the meds or me" So now he's taking a half pill a day (even though he's supposed to take a whole pill). And he's stoped going to his therapist...All things which I'm sure are adding to what's going on with us. FI's sister got married last August. She and her then FI moved in with FMIL and FFIL in June for a year to "save money to buy a house". FFIL hasn't spoken to FSIL since Feb. He is now living in their basement and hasn't spoken to FMIL in 3 weeks. This situation is bothering FI as FMIL and FSIL will ask Chris about his dad and vent and stuff. So I think to some degree he's taking that stress out on me.

Shoot! Conference call...be back in a few...

Quote: Originally Posted by Maura why does he feel trapped? it has to be something other than the cleanliness issue he has. my FI is a neat freak, but he accepts that i am not. yes, we get into arguments sometimes when i dont pick up after myself or clean something half-assed, but he would never say he felt trapped or couldnt live with me for the rest of his life because of that, KWIM? so what are his other issues that are causing him to feel trapped? and are they the same as last time you considered leaving? I'm not 100% sure why he's feeling so trapped. Maybe because we own a house together and because we have 2 big dogs. He's embarassed to have his family just stop by. I'm not. They know how we are, he's always been like this and so have I. Our back yard needs to be decked the rest of the way, we have a beig rug and the dogs run through the mud and then bring it in (RIGHT before we have company). So this happened SUnday and he huffed that he was just going to take a pension loan and have the yard done. I got pissed at the way he said it so I didn't say anything. He got mad because then when he wanted to talk about the deck and choosing one I didn't want to talk about it. Quote: Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek do you think him giving you the card is his way of making up? Yes, in a way...but then next fight, he'll turn it around that I'm obsessed with tee shirts... He says I'm obsessed with insignifcant wedding things when we should be working on "us"

Quote: Originally Posted by Amarillis Wow Dez... I am sorry you are having a rough time. I will stick my neck out there and say - don't leave. Really, what you need to do is talk it out, and stop talking about the wedding - go on a date, have dinner, make a picnic in your living room, do what ever your budget will allow. But the rule is.. NO WEDDING TALK! I think that cold feet is a function of the constant discussion of the wedding, the guests, the costs, the this and that - but if you get a chance to get back to the two of you... You'll remember why you fell in love in the first place. Give it a chance. We had a "date" planned last Friday...he fell asleep... I really don't talk wedding things with him. Once in a BLUE moon. But if we're with people, adn they ask me about it, I answer...in his head, that is me being obsessed with it.

He tells me that the only thing I talk about is this wedding and that I'm obsessed with it. Which is COMPLETELY untrue! So now, we have that fight Tuesday and yesterday he gives me the card of someone to make tee shirts for the wedding and he's asking me if I've priced things and if the prices are good. Now, the LAST thing I want to talk about with him is ANYTHING related to the wedding.