Christi

Quote: Originally Posted by MelanieS Yeah, Mandy, we only "did it" twice. Once for you and once for Grant. Yeah, that's right. LOL - good one, mom!

This is the first time I've seen it...way too funny!

Chili Cook-Off This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas . Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL . Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy cr*p, what the H* is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it fr om the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Scr*w them. CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I messed on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Scr*w it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4- inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report

Quote: Originally Posted by Blisslife Well. I think you all may be right and add all that to the fact that I am an Event Planner by trade, somehow I just cant get excited about planning "MY" day. For those of you that may have missed my newbie intro. I am already married to a wonderful man. We have been together for 17 years. 7 married. We are celebrating our 10 year anny by doing it all over again! He proposed again and everything! And the Paris, France Destination wedding was all his idea. April 23, 2010. We have the church (The American Church of Paris) and that's about it..... I love Paris...if you need any ideas about things to do, restaurants, tea houses...let me know. My friend works at the Lido and if you are interested, he may be able to give you a group discount...

those are great!

Quote: Originally Posted by Hartyt509 Ok i'll have 6 pints of what you lot have been drinking lol By the time mine comes home about at 12pm tomorrow night I won't have seen him for 3 weeks lol he will still be in his combats (he's got a 5 hr drive after work to get home) and his feet will stink lol he will start to snore like a freight train and I will go into the spare room lmao I might appreciate him on Friday but certainly not when he gets home lmao Harty - you always make me laugh...really hard!

we used choc brown rattan chargers at our reception - loved them! not much help where to buy them though.

Quote: Originally Posted by ashrose Oh, now that is funny... I get weirder than mayo and PB... I see your mayo and PB and raise you pickles. My dad cringes at the thought of it... but I think it is so good! Now that's gross! LOL

on toasted english muffins...my DH thinks the combo is so gross and says no one else in the world would eat that together...so ladies...bring it on...any other PB and mayo (has to be Best Foods) lovers out there...I can't wait to show him the results! LOL

did you check with the cleaning crew?

Quote: Originally Posted by JessicaLovesBrian Brian looooooooves this show. The only episode I've seen is the Walmart one and it had a lot of boobage and I figured perhaps that's why Brian likes the show so much! LOL - you're probably right! Did that episode open with the topless cheerleaders too?

Quote: Originally Posted by CaliaA07 Does it only come on on sundays?? I'm not sure what days new episodes run and the episode I saw sat night has been running nightly...I did see a trailer saying the next episode is about NASA and space travel, but I didn't catch what day it would air... HBO and Showtime probably run episodes at different times...

Breathe..ha...if you need meds, let me know!

Quote: Originally Posted by DreaW It shows in decending order for me.....hmmm, I would go to User CP, click on Edit Options, Scroll down to thread display options and make sure you click on Thread Display mode, and choose one..... I have mine on Linear-Older first. hope that helps I think it did...I'll check other forums too to double check...thanks for your help!

I voted for Paris since it's such a beautiful/romanticcity which holds a special place in my heart since my mom and dad lived, met and married there.

You and your family are in my thoughts...hang in there, chica!

when I go to the just venting page it displays threads by title, beginning and ascending order...is there a way to change this? I'm not seeing any new threads unless I manually change the display choices? Thanks!

your picts are beautiful...I miss living in the city!

hahaha - that's hysterical!

yeah, they are...sorry!

Quote: Originally Posted by Just Martha Jack did that to mine last year when he was a puppy and a while back he ate the cord to my printer. Luckily those are easy to replace! Did she get sick? No - she seems to have a stomach of steel LOL

Quote: Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek Oh, did she give you the puppy dog eyes after she knew she was caught? Those kill me! I get that followed by the head on my shoulder, i can't stay mad at that. BIG puppy eyes followed by an "i didn't know" whine...she's so bloody cute that all I could do is sigh and shake my head as I'm petting her...she has me WHIPPED!

Quote: Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek You must want to kill her. At least she didn't get hurt. What kind of dog do you have? we have two 8 month old pups - one is a rhodesian ridgeback and the other is a collie/aussie mix...hunter and gatherer...what the hell were we thinking it's the rr that loves to eat cables...i was sitting on the bed and she was on the floor and i didn't even know she was doing it until my battery went dead with the cord plugged in...I'm like and I picked up the cord and one end fell to the floor...she's a snaky pete that's for sure...