April, I have to say that no matter how much you try to please his family, you won't succeed. They will always have their own opinions about the location, number of guests, your dress, his shoes, types of flowers, the wedding dinner menu - you get the picture. This would happen no matter where you choose to get married, so you need to do what is right for you and Patrick; this is your first test as a couple. Make your decisions based on what the two of you really want. Don't give anyone the option of telling you what THEY want, just say this is what WE, together, have chosen. Ask for their support but not their opinions.
Also, so sorry to hear about your Dad; he is in our prayers.