I think we can all feel this one! I think a card is fine. I am a giver, but I know that it can come back to get you... if you give to the shower you know you keep getting invited to other showers. Will your friend be upset if you don't send go or send something?
I once thought I'd take the high rode and send a gift, then I got invited to the wedding, then the baby shower, then the house warming party, the baptism, and now the 1st b-day party..... YIKES! Sometimes I think you have se t a limit. Hope this helps!