1. Don't give Fi's gparents another thought. My grandparents couldn't come because of their age and I was fine with that, I actually do think that's a reasonable excuse. But if they have no interest in your wedding then don't let it bother you. That's their loss not yours. 2. I personally think it would be nice if you sang happy bday and maybe had a little cupcake come out for the 12yo's bday at your wedding. You don't have to have her cut her own cake. Just a little something will really make her day and I'm sure years from now she'll be talking about how cool it was to celebrate her bday at your wedding. She's 12 so i'm sure her bday is the most important day of the year. 3. I wouldn't change your songs. You picked those songs for a reason and you like them. Who cares if someone used them at their wedding. And if your FI has a problem with it then tell him to come up with new song ideas. I'm sure he'll agree to keep the ones you have after that. 4. Forget about the people who aren't coming to your wedding. Yeah it sucks and its dissappoiting but don't take it personally. Just focus on all the people who care enough to be there for your special day and F the rest. Trust me they will be so jealous when everyone gets back from your wedding and are talking about how great the trip was and how much fun they missed out on. 5. And if your FI isn't helping then you need to ask him to help with certain things. Just tell him your overwhelmed and you need him to pick out music, mail invites, etc whatever you think he can handle and take off your plate. Some guys don't want to get in your way so they just step back and let you do everything. He may not realize that you want his help so you need to directly ask for it. Â Now go have a drink.