Jaime what do you really want to do? I think if you want to do the co-ed strip club party than you should do it. If your friend cant go i would not dwell on it, just forget it and have fun.
now if its really important to have everyone hang out, have you thought about just having like a house party thing after the lingerie shower?
But I really think its up to you what you guys want to do. Dont let anyone else tell you what you should do or that your crazy. And if you dont want to do a bachlorette than scrap it.