Well first we decided we wanted an all-inclusive so people wouldn't have to worry about paying for food and drinks while there.
Next we had to find a place that allows children.
We looked up each place on tripadvisor and looked at travelers pics to see what the place was like and read some reviews to see how the food and service was. (you can listen to every review some people just don't like anything, you can tell from the general rating of each hotel) I also found some reviews from brides on trip advisor. So i would send each bride a message. Asking if there was anything she didn't like, where she had her ceremony, if resort guests were in the middle of her wedding pics, how food was, etc etc.
After I narrowed it down to a few places. I emailed each of their wedding cordinators for menus, price lists for ceremony and reception options. And that's basically how I did mine.