Maura

search functions are back up, try that, there are tons of threads about this

Quote: Originally Posted by Tlseege How much would you have spent on transportation for all of your guests to the church? Perhaps that's where you can find the extra $350 I sure hope this works out for you. Please keep us posted. Transportation wouldve been around $1300... but the thing is that my FMIL would have paid for the transportation. Since I am personally paying for my photographer out of pocket because FMIL thought it was too expensive, I'd be responsible for coming up with the extra money for the photog.

Quote: Originally Posted by fogdog I actually like the sounds of this! Given how important it is to you and your immediate family (and maybe not quite as much to friends, etc. - keeping in mind a Catholic mass can get long for those who do not practice) it could be really neat to get up early and start off your day with a more intimate and spiritual event with very close family. Then have brunch together after, part ways with your husband, and get ready for your party! You could wear a cute cotton sundress - a whole new wedding ensemble! just trying to help you look on the brighter side of this mess i totally agree with this bridget, not all our friends are catholics so sitting through a full wedding mass would be difficult to begin with, which is why we dont want to take the 4 or 4:30 pm time because its going to be horrifically hot with no AC in the church at that time of day. i bought a second dress which is tea length, for our legal ceremony here, so i think i will wear that to the church in the morning if we can do that. then for the "vow renewal" in front of all our guests -- because we dont want the guests to know we've already done the ceremony in the morning -- i will wear my wedding gown to this ceremony. Quote: Originally Posted by starchild Yikes! Your priest does rock (funny background on him!). I think his solution is excellent. All I can suggest is to roll with the punches, but I understand your frustration! And you're right, no ifs, ands, or buts about it....the Catholic church in Mexico will not "bless" a wedding outside of the church. It takes a small miracle to pull that off in the States. A family friend had an outdoor wedding done by a "renegade" cardinal in the 70s who had close ties to the family, but there is still talk that it isn't "official". Kind of ironic considering that nature is God, and they say the people are the church...not to mention all the preaching Jesus did in the desert....but Jesus didn't make the rules. I could go on but I'm sure you are well aware Good luck and if you end up doing the Catholic ceremony at home, I've been there and would be happy to assist ) Thanks Jamy we're well underway with our meetings with our local priest and our pre-cana is scheduled for march 1. I just never imagined all the church stuff would be such a PITA! I dont have many catholic girlfriends who are married so i have limited resources to ask questions to other people who've gone through the process. so glad to know there are girls on here who i can talk to this about! Quote: Originally Posted by Adamsgrrl Maura, So sorry to hear this. I know how irratating all this can be. Our priest neglected to inform us that his Church was under construction and we had to change Churches and pay and extra fee to do this literally 2 days before the ceremony..ugh! What is with these priests in Mexico.. come on! As silly as it may be I would go with your FMIL and let her try to provide "Extra Compensation" to get your slot back. I'm sure if you reason with the priest and offer this as a "Gift" for the churches cough cough "trouble" he will be receptive. Its your day and you worked hard to make it what you want... so a little extra money may not seem that bad in the long run to have a stress free wedding. Good Luck and let us know what happens! Monika : ) monika, that is so obnoxious about your priest. but judging from the slideshow photos i saw of your wedding, the new church was gorgeous. although i am sure it was a HUGE pain to switch everything over to the new one. i think i would prefer to have her not try to get our slot back. i dont want to give that church any more money than is absolutely necessary because i am so ticked about what happened. jose doesnt want to get the time back either because he agrees doing the morning ceremony with our parents at the church would be nice, and that way we can keep all the guests in one place at the westin and have them go right from the ceremony to the reception with no hassle of transportation. Quote: Originally Posted by Sarah That totally reminds me of a discussion with my now SIL before our wedding. She is Catholic, and was absolutely freaking out because we were getting married in Mexico, on the beach, not in the church and that our wedding would not be "blessed". I just laughed and told her that last time I checked, God lives in Mexico too... rofl Anyway Maura- I do realize how important it is in the Catholic faith to have a church ceremony, so I hope this gets worked out. I'm glad you have your home priest- he sounds like an awesome guy. I also like the idea of the morning ceremony with just family. I think that would be really personal and meaningful. Keep us posted, in the meantime, deep breaths. It will all work out somehow. i think it is so ridiculous that the church doesnt allow it given all your points about how god is everywhere. jose tells me that a huge part of it is because during the wedding mass, they still do collection, so the church would potentially be missing out on a lot of money if you dont have your ceremony in the sanctuary and that is partially where the rule comes from. i really like the idea of the private ceremony with our parents too. only thing is that now i have to figure out how we're going to get photos of that... if i am going to have to cough up another $350 for our photographer to show up there in the morning too. i think doing it privately in the morning will also take a lot of pressure off of the ceremony in front of our guests.

jose found out there was a show called married away about DWs and found out we didnt get the channel. so he called directv to order it to surprise me, but they told him he couldnt purchase the channel separately, he had to order it as part of a $45 extra a month package, so he didnt get it. i just had to laugh at how cute he was about trying to do it as a surprise and then when it didnt work out and he told me, he had the cutest sad puppy face!

FI and i are both lactose intolerant, although he is worse than me. i get serious stomach problems if i drink milk, but i'm fine with cheese. we switched to Lactose free milk and now FI loves milk. We keep lactaid caplets handy, and my FI loves chocolate milkshakes, so we keep caplets in the car in case he goes to McD's randomly. It's really not a huge lifestyle change -- at least it hasnt been for us. The lactose free milk is slightly more expensive, but not a ton. Also, I notice if I buy Horizon organic milk, I have absolutely no problem processing it. I think my lactose intolerance stems from drinking milk from cows that had been given growth hormones and chemicals and junk in the milk. But that's just my theory... The Horizon organic milk also stays better longer than the regular hormone filled milk too.

no but im getting married aug 9th, so ill be sweatin with ya!

haha, when we first got engaged and FI had a random day off but I didn't, he called me at work at like 2 in the afternoon telling me he just watched one of those wedding shows and he was going to check out another one that just came on, then he proceeded to update me via blackberry messenger of how horrible the brides on the show were haha

Quote: Originally Posted by Adamsgrrl Have a great trip!!! You won't be disappointed..... have some lime & sea salt flavored peanuts at the bar for me... I still drool thinking about them. YUM! Monika, you can buy these on the internet... I am TOTALLY addicted to them and every time I go to Mexico City, I bring back like 5 or 6 bags! Last time we went every grocery store in a 2 mile radius was sold out of them and I was freaking out, but FI showed me this which calmed me down haha: Mafer Cacahuate Japones Sal Limón, 200 gram bag The Sabritas brand are not as good, just FYI, I would personally only eat them in a pinch.

Quote: Originally Posted by JaimeLynne Your priest at home sounds awesome! Thank goodness you have him!!!! I think it sounds like things are going to work out one way or another with him on your side. the priest from home who is being so great is the one who is my FI's uncle through marriage. ready for this? FI's mother's brother married an american woman. it is her uncle, so i guess technically its like FI's second uncle through marriage. he's like 80 yrs old and has married all of jose's cousin and also officiated his grandmother's funeral last year in mexico city. i originally wasnt incredibly keen on having him officiate due to some history (my FI was engaged to someone else 7 years before we met, and fr. jack was going to marry them before they found out she had been cheating on my FI and he broke it off immediately), but jose really pressed that it was important to him so i agreed -- and i am infinitely glad i did because he's incredibly sweet and helpful. and hopefully he can help us figure things out with what to do next.

yaaay heidi congrats -- i've missed you around here since you started your new job! glad to hear your wedding is paid up and you can hopefully coast easy until you leave without too many worries!

Quote: Originally Posted by Betsy That is horrible!!! I am so sorry! Would your priest at home consider "blessing" your marriage after you get back? I know it is not ideal but maybe that would work! OMG I am sure you are freaking out! That is just plain not fair at all!! The whole point of our doing a DW was to do our legal ceremony at home (for immigration purposes for my FI, he is not an american citizen. our lawyer said it would be easier for us if we do a legal thing here first), and our religious ceremony in MX because the religious one is the one that counts to us --- and especially to his big mexican catholic family. i talked to my dad this evening to tell him what happened and my dad was like well then why bother to even make everyone fly to mexico if you cant have it in the church anyway! yah, thanks for the support dad...UGH Quote: Originally Posted by coreyphil OK - here's my knee-jerk thoughts ... if you do decide to have the ceremony at the hotel, you have already thought through the pros --- no transportation, no lost time with Bradley, etc. --- so there are some positives. It sounds like you priest in Chicago is very nice (or at least super-responsive!) - after explaining the situation to him, would you be able to have a smaller ceremony there? I'm not Catholic, but FI is ... and we had to have lots of talks about having my friend (a Methodist minister) officiate at our ceremony. I know that it is really, really important in the Catholic faith to have the ceremony be Catholic ... On the other hand ... should we start making LOTS of fans now? If I remember correctly, the ceremony can be rather long ... so, I would say if you go with 4:30, then I think that having fans and cold drinks for the bus ride back will keep your guests happy! Is your FI ok with not having a Catholic ceremony? Or, can you get a Catholic priest to come to the hotel? i am not opposed to having the ceremony at the hotel with our guests. however, then where/when do we do the religious ceremony? his parents really want to be there for that. it is REALLY important in the catholic faith to have your ceremony in the church. in certain parts of mexico, they will not under any circumstances allow you to marry outside of a sanctuary. cabo happens to be one of the ones where theyre pretty strict about it. jose absolutely refuses to do the ceremony at 4:30 because its going to be infernally hot. also, our reception dinner begins at 8 which is not able to be changed at this point, nor do we want to change it. the wedding mass is like an hour and fifteen minutes long, so yeah... we arent getting married in a non-air conditioned church at 4:30 in the afternoon and forced to get all sweaty and gross in our formalwear. also, wth would our guests do between 5:30 and 8 then? we would have to provide something with appetizers and cocktails, which we dont want to do. Quote: Originally Posted by Mrs.B 2008 oh maura i am sorry. do you speak fluent spanish? did he say that he definitely gave away the time? can you have FI's mom call back until she speaks with him and tell him the situation? yes i am fluent, he most definitely gave away the time slot because he "did not have our documents", however I know he did because our priest here sent it and emailed me several days after to tell me it hadnt bounced back to him, so it went through. it doesnt matter if FI's mom calls and talks to the priest there because someone else already has the slot whether it's fair or not. the only person jose knows who has pull with the mexican catholic church is a friends' parents who are members of opus dei and we are just not comfortable getting involved with being indebted to them... Quote: Originally Posted by fogdog We did our Catholic ceremony at home after our Cabo wedding and the priest was totally fine with it. I'm sure if you chat with your priest about it he will accommodate you. Could I suggest...use the extra money you would have paid to do it in your church and fly your priest down there? He may want you to do a small ceremony in the actual church when you get home to make it official, but you can always consider your Mexico wedding your "real" day. like i said above, the biggest reason for our DW was to have our religious ceremony there. we are (and had already planned) to fly jose's family priest to cabo to do the ceremony in the catholic church there. jose's mom asked the priest in mexico if our family priest could have permission to perform our ceremony at the hotel and she was told absolutely not under any circumstances would it be considered blessed and "legal" by the catholic church if we do it outside of the church. Quote: Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 Maura I'm so sorry! I'd be going through the roof if I were you. Will the hotel let you have a Catholic ceremony? I know that we could have arranged it at our resort in Jamaica. Is there another church nearby? Maybe the hotel could let you use the ballroom so you could set up an altar. At least it would be air-conditioned! The money you save could be used to make the room pretty. I'll send you happy thoughts while you work everything out. Keep us posted! the hotel has no jurisdiction over whether you can or cannot have a catholic ceremony. the next closest church is too far away for us to realistically transport our guests roundtrip to and from the church. Also, a bit of an update:I called our family priest this evening, and he suggested that what we do is try to reserve the church for Saturday morning and we can do a private mass with just our parents present. Then, in the early evening at the hotel, our family priest will do a vow renewal type ceremony for all our guests (but we would not tell our guests that it is not the real ceremony). He suggested also that I send him the contact information for the Bishop of La Paz, which has jurisdiction over the parish of San Jose del Cabo and he will see what kind of strings he can pull if they will allow him to do the ceremony at the Westin so we don't have to have two ceremonies -- he said if not (which is the most likely scenario), then we keep the appointment for using the church on Saturday morning with our parents and that anything we do in the evening with our guests is none of the church's business, and he will perform that ceremony even if they tell him they don't approve it. I need to call my FMIL in a little bit, but I am just so irritated we have spent so much time doing everything by the books for the catholic church because its important to our families that we get married in the church. and now after all that, its like we totally wasted our time. i refuse to let my FMIL bribe the church to pay to get our ceremony time back, which is likely what she will suggest. i just think that's ludicrous. well....i'll keep you guys updated as this evolves, thanks for listening. it really helps to get this off my chest and discuss it, even if nothing is resolved here, it makes me feel a lot better.

from another cabo bride

OMFG. Many of you know what a difficult time me and my FMIL have had corresponding with Padre Juvencio at the church in San Jose del Cabo. Like 2 weeks ago, my FMIL had talked to him and everything seemed to be fine, we had been assured we had the church reserved for our date at 6 pm. He wanted us to have our local priest send him correspondence that we had begun all our procedures with the church here. I was very meticulous about having our local priest send this IMMEDIATELY because of all the difficulty we had communicating with the church in Mexico. My FMIL has not been able to get a hold of the priest on the phone for the last week that she had been trying, and she finally got him on the phone at like 7 am local time in Cabo this morning. He tells her that he has not received anything from our priest. WTF. I know Fr. Joe sent it. So I email Fr. Joe saying hey sorry to bug you but the priest there says he didn't get it, can you forward me a copy so I can resend and also fax it to him. Fr. Joe sends this to me like 10 mins later, so quick, I was so thankful. I call the church (by this time it is 9:45 am in Chicago, so 45 mins since my FMIL talked to him) and speaking in Spanish, I am informed Juvencio has left the office for the day and won't return until 5 pm TOMORROW! SO I forward the stuff from Fr. Joe to Juvencio with a note reminding him of the date, our names, that he's spoken with my FMIL, here's a copy of the email our priest sent you, here are the details on the time of ceremony. He emails me back like 30 mins later saying ok, I got what you sent, your ceremony is at 4 pm. I first called my FI and FI's mom to let them know. My FI practically threw a shit fit on the phone because its totally unacceptable. 4 pm in august in cabo is effing HOT. there is no AC in the church, so no way is he getting married at 4 pm. So I email Juvencio back and remind him that no, our ceremony was supposed to be at 6, because 4 is way too early for us. Then Juvencio emails me back and says "Ok, we can do it at 4:30", which I forwarded to my FI and he emails me back instantly from his blackberry that he is done dealing with the idiot priest there and I should haggle with the WC to do our ceremony at the hotel now, I should call his mom to discuss it with her also after 5:30. I am SOOOOOO freaking irritated that after we went through all this crap to get a hold of the church, and after we thought we already had everything set, the priest gave away our effing ceremony time!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should be breathing a sigh of relief, but I have gone back and forth so much with were we or weren't we having our ceremony at the church. My FMIL is paying for our wedding, so doing it at the hotel will save at least $2,000 because we won't have to provide transportation roundtrip for guests btwn hotel and church. But now what do I do about getting our Catholic ceremony? Because we're already doing all our meetings with our priest/signed up for pre-cana etc etc. GAHHHHHHHH I AM READY TO FLIP OUT!!!!!!

I could use some input from a TA or anyone else who has done this before... Ok, here's the deal: FI has enough American Airlines frequent flyer miles for two tickets for us to Cabo for our wedding. He did some online simulations of possible flights we could take and everything on the way there was one connection (usually in Dallas at DFW) and the way back was direct. We are fine with connecting on the way there. Our question is this: We would like to fly first class if possible, by doing upgrades and paying for the upgrade but using the miles to book the tickets. We don't want to spend a ton of money on upgrades. The issue is that my FI is tall and has a back problem and is uncomfortable sitting in coach. My FI seems to think that using a TA might get us a better deal because TAs have access to booking codes that we can't necessarily get booking our tickets online by ourselves. Is this right? Can we do it that way? If we can't we will just book our tickets online without upgrades and fly coach, but my FI is skeptical about whether or not I will be able to hang my dress if we fly coach. What has been your experience? Is it feasible that we could book our tickets this way or no? Thanks in advance

the link is not working for me for some reason, are you sure you have it spelled right?

congrats, wooooooo we're booking our airline tickets this week or next, and yeah once you make some of the big purchases it becomes much more real!

aw, boo! big thumbs down to your mailman haha

jen! another member, becks, is going to paradisus this weekend and she posted a thread about it in case anyone wants her to ask any questions for them while shes there. and im sure she will be happy to share any photos she takes while shes there

betsy, photo is working now! it looks great, actually kinda similar to my dress so i might be biased since the top of mine is halter with some beaded lace, and my skirt is also pickups but slightly different than yours. for $99 you really cant beat it -- if it comes and you love it, awesome! but if it sucks at least it was only $99 and you can turn around and resell it on ebay or use it for a TTD!

Quote: Originally Posted by Betsy I'm arriving on a Monday and our Wedding Date is Thursday - It specifically says on the Moon Palace Website in Cancun that you have to be there 3 days prior and as long as you are there before 3 p.m. on the arrival date that counts as one day. So why would there be a difference just because of different resorts?? because resorts may pad their date, wanting you to stay an extra night or two... thats my guess

Quote: Originally Posted by destinationcabo I'm a little confused and nervous now. We are arriving on a Saturday and our wedding is Monday.... Maye, our WC, said it should be fine - that our blood test is set-up for Saturday as soon as we arrive at our hotel.... they dont actually always need 3 actual days, that's just what the supposed legal requirement is. oftentimes they do it quicker. kate (LALA) got married in may and posted somewhere about her experience with the blood test stuff being super quick. if maye says youll be fine, dont stress about it. since she does it often enough, i think she probably knows best

Quote: Originally Posted by Betsy OMG - um don't we hear enough not-so-nice comments from our beloved guests and family already! Seriously I have never had any mean comments here! Another reason I love it! haha so true. we have enough misbehaved guests, we dont need crap from other poorly behaved brides too!

no. are you using the img code from a photobucket account or something like it?

i feel the same way, before i found bdw i read the knot boards but never participated -- they are just so mean on there. i am so greatful to have BDW and all you nice, sweet ladies!

dont you love also how people JUST HAVE to act like youre putting them out and they have to go through all the hardships to make it to your wedding? wtf is with that... if you cant afford it, dont come, and if you are saying you have to sell your things just to come to my wedding to make me feel guilty, it aint happenin. if they really want to be there and its important to them, they wont tell you the sacrifices they have to make to come!