BillysBride

Whoa.....there is a LOT going into the pot on this one. NONE of which is your fault, but because this situation did not happen overnight and there is an entire lifetime of culture and mindset at work here, you'll have to tread carefully. I agree with Josie..distance. Your actions can speak just as loud, if not louder, than words and your husband will NOT be able to take issue with it. He's close to them...and has had a lifetime of positive experiences with them. It will be hard, if not impossible to get him to see that they are truly going out of their way to hurt/slight you. ONE DAY, he'll see it because thats the way this kind of crap goes down eventually. When they can't make a dent in the two of you as a couple, sooner or later, the facade starts to wear thin....the question is, will you have let them drive you insane before then? It's not worth it girl. You can't change the love he feels for them. What you CAN do is stay as unemotional and detached as possible, for two reasons. When we come from a place of hurt and anger, men tend to think we're just being women. "Divisive" as your DH put it. Like you are just throwing salt because you don't truly understand them. I say take the tact of removing yourself emotionally from their antics. Believe me, that will bug the shit out of them far more than any speech you make. They WANT you to blow up so they can point fingers and talk about how they have tried to be welcoming but nothing they do will satisfy you and you are determined to believe they are out to get you. I'd be pure honey with vinegar in my veins to their asses from here on out. Expect the snubs, smile and extend the invites anyway. BE HAPPY when they turn you down. You don't want their asses around anyway! You're the bigger person and LOOK like the bigger person when you keep reaching out. I mean it...let them dig their own hole, then sooner or later, you'll get the pleasure of seeing them trip all over themselves landing in it. I know it's hard. I KNOW, believe me. I'm lucky to have a great FMIL now, but it was not always so and it takes a LOT to take the veiled insults and the lack of true understanding from your hubby. But believe me, step back and consider how these people SHOULD NOT be a huge part of your life or your thoughts...don't give them any more power than they deserve, which is nil. Not a damn bit. Do all you can to relegate them to the back of your mind where they belong. Don't give them the satisfaction of taking up your mental space cuz I guarantee you they aren't losing sleep over YOU. Love your man, and your child--they are the only part of that family you need to be worried about.

Thats a GREAT way to spend an afternoon..good for you, and GOOD LUCK!

Thank you great and mighty Morgan! lol...now I see where my confusion was coming from. Maybe I'll try the wally world knock offs as long as they actually work/adhere. I can't see putting something in a bra to push 'em up..the bra alone is enough additional heat for a hot climate. Mods, feel free to delete. Now that I know the diff I'm finding tons of threads--thanks!!

Anyone have these? I know last year we were all posting about them calling them "chicken cutlets" hahaha! But I've learned there are severl types and one brand (NuBra) that is supposedly the best...pricey ofcourse. I have several summer tops that I really can't find ANY kind of strapless bra that works with them, as well as wanting a nice but natural extra "push" for the wedding. Any feedback would be appreciated--thanks chicas!

Oooo, touchy subject. Just my personal opinion/decision. If/when people ask us if they should give us gifts, I'm telling anyone who is attending to please save their money. Their attendance is their gift to us, literally. Anyone not attending who wants to give a token of their good wishes, then that is entirely appropriate and we sure won't turn it away. But I personally don't feel right telling people who are already spending a nice chunk of change just getting there to buy us anything. If they do it, thats on them. But if they ask, no.

We're looking at doing our welcome din din at the Sunset too! I'm not so much worried about the ferry transfer or guests being inconvenienced, though that sounds terrible. We are definitely letting it be known from the jump that the reason we picked this island is because it's "away" from the regular traffic and hustle and bustle. Anyone who comes will do so knowing that this isn't Cancun and if they want to spend a lot of time in Cancun or any other places, there is going to be some inconvenience involved. We're playing up what the actual island community of Isla has to offer instead of focusing on main tourist attractions to be found on the mainland. If they are coming to see us get married and enjoy the atmosphere along with one or two trips elsewhere, I think they will be fine. If they are coming to make this a trip where they get to go-go-go and do-do-do, then this probably isn't the right venue for them and they are welcome to stay in the city and just make the ferry ride in for the wedding. Thats about all I can do.

Quote: Originally Posted by jerseykitten My TA is only telling my guests about 3 and 4 night packages. We're getting there Thursday, the wedding is Saturday. I'm hoping that EVERYONE else is gone by Monday. I never thought anyone would want to stay a week and I will not be encouraging that! Yup, we're in the same boat-in on Thursday, wedding Saturday. And definitely hoping for departures on Monday. lol

I'm SERIOUSLY considering just ordering a lot of blank, lidded insulated mugs-then using waterproof "crystal clear" labels with something printed up on them for ours. I could do those for about $1.50 a piece if I get a good deal on a lot of ten or more. The frugal cheapskate in me just can't see paying more than a couple of bucks a piece for these things, no matter how I spin it in my head. If thats the route I go, I'll definitely post pics!

Quote: Originally Posted by shan13 Yall are funny..this is my guilty pleasure along with whose wedding is it anyway?....and Platinum Weddings... but on bridezillas...I was surprised that the lady whose groom left her at the altar & married the next day in Vegas were STILL together...and yep Meagan was crazy..my FI told me he woulda been left me if I acted like that..lmao. Oooh, I cannot watch Platinum Weddings. I think it makes me angrier than Bridezillas! lol..all that expense for no damn good reason other than people have the money and these broads are prima donnas. Ugh. It's just ridiculous. Most of them are princess bridezillas too; only diff is that on Bridezillas you get everything from the dirt cheap girls to the richies.

If theres one thing we love around here..it's a deal! Congrats on nailing one! Can't wait to see pics! Any idea where you can track down the skirt? Does it have to be the one specifically designed for the dress?

Here's another thought...well, a theory. His hours got changed a few weeks ago, along with the management at his job. This on the heels of his being laid off for 3 months at the beginning of the year..things have been in flux, a LOT and he's been home during hours he would not normally be. I think we're just on each other's nerves. Too much wakeful hour togetherness....seriously. I know I love him more than my next breath, but serious...I could use a break and he has got to be feeling it too. It's not natural. Add to that the fact that our main source of transportation is in the shop til next week. Yup...pseudo-car less since the only other one driveable is in use at his dad's (long story). It's been rough. We can't go out as a family because its the minivan thats in the shop. Plus, while I live, eat, and breathe wedding crap as an outlet, he doesn't have that mental "escape". Well, there's Playstation, but...I doubt it works the same. The more I think on it, the more I honestly think it goes back to the two of us just plain on each other's nerves, which is fine. It's happened before. It's supposed to happen. Its the mind's way of saying "you can love someone, but being joined at the hip is not a natural existence." lol It should get better in exactly ten days....thats when the changeover will be done and things will settle down into more normal hours instead of this here, there crap during set up. Til then, I'm going to do my best to plan some stuff maybe give us something to look forward to when we're finally sprung. And pray that it works--or else theres going to be bloodshed.

lol...I think the key thing is that you DO realize your feeling is irrational. It's normal-but irrational. There are a lot of chiffon bridal gowns and you are having a DW--it's just a coincidence, and I guarantee you HE doesn't remember what her gown looked like, let alone what material it was. I TOTALLY GET YOUR GUT REACTION....just don't let it run away with you. You chose your gown because you love it. That shouldn't change because she had the same material. I can see if it LOOKED similar in design..but the material...don't let her do that to you. Don't let her TAKE the gown YOU chose from you. She shouldn't have that power and the dress is certainly not to blame. That being said, if you can't shake the feeling by rationalizing with yourself over the next few months, then change the dress. But I'm just saying..if you're going to give CHIFFON this kind of power, theres likely to be more down the road. Other similarities or other things you want to do or change to differentiate your wedding from their, your relationshp from theirs, your marriage from theirs. It's not necessary. She's something from his past that happened and is over. You are his entire future...every day, for the rest of his life. Don't sully that with thoughts about a closed chapter in someone else's life.

Quote: Originally Posted by Jessica Ugh. That sounds rough. I can see why you would be frustrated. From what I'm hearing it's not even so much about the actual holiday (although I know that is a factor) as much as the fact that you and Billy had a deal (seemingly) that this year 4th of July would be with your family and he not only ignores the deal but choses to pursue splitting up the family even though he knows this is upsetting to you. We tend to alternate big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, Easter - even though Brian and I don't celebrate Easter) every year and stuff like Memorial Day, 4th of July etc, we just spend alone. Since the 4th of July is a big deal for your family I can see why you would want to take the kids to that (hell, even I want to go, sounds like fun!). I'm not quite sure what the solution would be to resolve the 4th of July arrangements but maybe this whole situation is a good opportunity for you guys to at some point discuss a plan for holidays and come to a final agreement on how to handle holidays. Whether it be alternating every year or having set holiday's you spend with with certain families (ie. Christmas with yours, Thanksgiving with his), etc. This is exactly the problem. I swear. He comes in and I attempt to drop things back a notch--even extend an olive branch telling him he is truly welcome to do whatever he feels comfortable doing because if he feels that strongly about being with his dad, and seeing as how this is NOT a "big" holiday to them, he should go for it. Go on up there and spend it with his father. You guys know what? It's almost like he didn't hear me. Then when it finally starts to penetrate, he starts in on wanting to take the kids or a couple of the kids. Umm...no. A.) part of my point about getting the time with my mom is the kids. She is the ONLY grandparent they have left on my side. She's it. She didn't get them last 4th--not doin it to her again. He wants to go, fine. The kids weren't part of the deal. It's like I give him what he wants, and not only does he continue to argue with me as if he doesn't HEAR me giving him what he wants, BUT he ups the ante by asking for something else! I'm just not even in the mood to talk to him right now. He was being completely unreasonable and taking me a few places I really don't want to be when I'm already drained. So I'm calling a cease fire and retreating to my neutral corner. When someone gets that way with me (unreasonable and unrelenting) I just want to start screaming and throw something (preferably my fist), so it really is better that I just leave things be and perhaps revisit the issue tomorrow.

Thanks Erin- my mom has nearly BEGGED FFIL to come to ours...everytime. Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving...everything. But the social anxiety gene B was born with clearly came from him. B has actually gotten a lot better with time....FFIL just isn't used to it and probably won't ever come enough to GET used to it. He did come for an hour last Christmas....well, about an hour. Then he beat feet outta there, and I know it was only because he was here Christmas Eve with us and the kids and it would have seemed SO ass-hat'ish to cut and run as soon as we got ready to go to mom's. He did that the year before:) Ugh! I know I gotta make concessions...I know that. I DO that. But some stuff, I just can't budge on. A deal is a deal and this is important to me. Who KNOWS what else is factoring into this. I think FI has it in his head that he's been bullied too much or some lunatic crap like that. NOTHING has been going on, so it's likely male PMS. You know how they get-- you decide to watch Lifetime and not give up his recliner one night, and suddenly his very manhood is put into question. Sickening.

THIS SONOFABITCHIN' MAN! Ladies--I'm pissed. We got into it today about the oh so popular subject of where to spend the holiday. This time, it's the July 4th weekend, which just so happens to be a big deal to my family. I apologize for the book in advance. We spent last July 4th eating tasteless food at his father's house. I LOVE my FFIL. He's a genuinely sweet and supportive man and I can't imagine having a better dad in law. With that being said, he lives in a town of approximately 800 people which is almost 2 hrs away. NONE of these things have anything to do with my reasons for wanting to spend this 4th with my family--but they definitely DO factor into my enjoyment level. The holidays are always a bone of contention for us. I refuse (yes, refuse) to spend Christmas anywhere but with my mom. We do our own thing til late afternoon, then go to her place to meet all of my siblings and open more presents, so on and so forth. The reason I refuse isn't just to be a bitch. My mother is turning 70 next year. His is only turning 51. Tomorrow is not promised to ANY of us, but in the grand scheme of things, I feel relatively certain I have fewer years left with my mother than he does with his. My mom is on 13...THIRTEEN different prescription medications. HELLO? Besides, Billy's mom is in Pennsylvania...a good 9 hr car ride or a 3 hr flight away. Not an option. She comes down for a week AROUND Christmas to see all of their family that is still in the area (which is still an hour away from us). I MAKE SURE that we go up there for at least a day during this time, and she comes down to our place for a day during this time. Fair as we can get. At any rate, over Memorial Day weekend (which we spent with his dad) FFIL mentions wanting us to get there EARLY on July 4. It honestly didn't hit me what he was saying til about halfway through the convo. He was assuming that we were coming, like last year. Last year was a major concession for me, and I did it out of fairness. I also made sure it was known that we would be spending THIS year with my family...Billy knew this. I chose not to cause a fuss at the moment, and wait to make sure to discuss it with Billy after we were alone. Billy then tells me I was at fault for not immediately clarifying with his dad....but that's a whole seperate issue. Today is different. TODAY, he comes out of the bedroom and announces that he's going to go ahead and go up to his dad's on July 4--that he knows how I feel and he is more than willing to take the kids or just take 2 or whatever I want, but that his dad "has spent most of the last 20 yrs celebrating holidays alone, and it's not fair that every holiday we don't come". STOP THE MUTHAFUCKIN PRESS! "EVERY HOLIDAY"? Did I black out and DREAM Memorial Day weekend , July 4th weekend '08, AND about 3 other miscellaneous weekends we drove up just to spend with his dad this past year? I inform him that he's exaggerating and I don't appreciate it-and then I clarify that while he is free to do as he pleases, it's only FAIR that we spend this holiday with my peeps. He immediately gets even MORE defensive, saying that it's not fair to his dad and he knew I was going to react this way. Damn skippy you knew--cuz your ass is wrong. But anyway, I tell him that his dad spent the majority of the last 20 yrs worth of holidays alone because he was a raging alcoholic who drove his wife (FI's mom) away as well as his children. THEN I point out that fact that even BEFORE ME, FI was not spending holidays with his dad for those very reasons. Now that all is golden with FFIL does not mean that ME AND MINE have something to make up to with him. I don't care how sweet he is (now). Ten minutes worth of arguing later, he goes to the shower, I go to the bedroom where I cry out of sheer frustration that he does not SEE allt he concessions I make for him. He comes out, and approaches me saying "Well, I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't spend every single holiday with your folks"...further evidence that he truly doesn't see a single thing I do to accomodate him and his family, shyness, lack of interest, etc, etc. I tell him I can't even talk to him about it because I'm seeing how much he does not see the ways in which I give up things for him all the time. He volunteered to go out for some stuff at that point, so he's gone now. He THINKS that I don't want to go up there becuase the town is so small, and I'm uncomfortable being LITERALLY the only speck of color within a fifty mile radius. IF that were true, I'd be WELL within my rights to FEEL uncomfortable, but that's not it. Fair is fair and THIS July 4 was promised to me as being spent with my family who missed me and my kids HORRIBLY last year and vice versa. It's nothing to his family. His dad has his sister and her kids over, they cook out, but it's literally not a big deal. My family makes an entire day of it, complete with new outfits for every child, sparklers, caravan trips to see the fireworks..the whole nine. If I were being a bitch, I'd be saying "it's more important to my family than it is to yours, so I'm NEVER spending a 4th up there." but that's not me at all. This one was MINE and he doesn't get why I'm so upset that HE is choosing to either SPLIT the family in two and go our seperate ways for the day, or just not come with us..HIS FUTURE WIFE AND CHILDREN.

Quote: Originally Posted by YoursTruly I came across this info for anyone interested...Hot off The Press….Here's a summertime treat! The Young and the Restless's Billy Miller (Billy Abbott) and Daniel Goddard (Cane Ashby) are set to get all wet! Well, maybe not, but they'll be appearing at the 'hurricane harbor' water park at Six Flags - Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey on July 26! As part of the Soap Opera Festival that day, the two amazing Y&R actors will appear in shows at both 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM! I totally forgot to mention this! lol I'm going to this, to cover the appearance for the site (and get some NY shopping done? lol). I'm gonna take massive pics...PLEASE let me know if any of you NY state BDW brides will be there-would love to meet up!

lol..I'm here. I'm gonna get some updates this weekend hopefully-Ive been out of the loop tryin to get with my new work out regimen and some other crap. I talked to Daniel Monday night, but nothing about the show, so I'll see what I can find out from the site sources. I DO know that all is not what it seems, and Lily has a "HUGE" storyline coming up which will ultimately "bisect" with Cane's. Both Daniel and Christel (Cane & Lily) are really really excited about what's coming up for their characters this summer and very optimistic that the fans will be pleased. That's all I know for now- hang tight!

Holy crow, Lisa ...it's REALLY coming along! Unbelieveable. I'm mondo jealous and must add you to the list of BDW tramps-that-make-me-feel-jealous. hahahaha! I kid! I kid! It's gorgeous and looks PERFECT on you already! Can't wait to see it full on complete...you're GLOWING!

I think I'm just gonna type up a brochure, then do a couple of newsletters to remind people to book. I figure, by the time I'm ready to send my formal invites, people will know if they are coming or not. If I have to "remind" them, then they aren't coming...it's either a priority or it isn't. I'll do the brochure and newsletters over the next six months, but by the time I get down to February of next year, forget that and anybody who hasn't booked. They ain't comin' and if they are, they won't be coming just because I reminded them to book. lol

lol..for the "chub rub" issue...I know there are a few products that are basically liquid baby powder. I see them all the time during the summer months here in my local Wally World. I can't remember off the top of my head who the big manufacturer is, but I'll look around online..anyway, I was thinking that would be EXCELLENT for that lovely thigh friction. Something you can smooth on a nice, thin velvety layer and stick in your purse in case you need to reapply later.

Quote: Originally Posted by CourtneyV lol, no you're not alone on this; it is your honeymoon afterall!! So, I'm guessing you're not able to switch resorts for your honeymoon then (just in case)?? I wouldn't mind switching, but he would. And believe me, y'all know how I am by now- I've had NO problem telling people that they can't depend on us for much as far as company after the wedding. lol I just don't want the guilt. It's just, we have some of ..those guests. You know the ones I mean. Like, his step sister who, when we FIRST started discussing potentially just going to Mexico to ELOPE invited herself and her husband along! I sh*t you not, completely serious. Even when we said that we thought we would forgo getting married in Mexico and just go do a nice honeymoon..same thing. She kept talking about "let us know, and we'll see about getting some time off so that we can join you guys. It would be fun!". HUH? Billy used to drop hints about what she's like, but to be honest, I thought he was exaggerating because he isn't the most social person in the world and their personalities just conflicted. NOPE...no exaggeration. She really is that pushy. She sent me like 8 text msgs last week to invite herself and her kids down to our house for the day. I just had surgery a month ago, and granted..I feel fine-but she wouldn't know that! lol And at what point when someone makes their excuses and puts you off a couple of times, do you NOT get the hint that they just don't feel up to company? I like her, I do. But it's summer and my four are home all day-that's enough. Add her four and you get pandemonium! I'm NOT up for that. Overall, I'm not worried about it...I'm making it known as best as I can and will keep stressing the "3 nt packages" thing since it will mean time off work for most people. I was wondering if it was just me that was so anti-social and ungrateful that I wanted people to come all that way and then LEAVE as soon as possible. hahahaha!

Quote: Originally Posted by Sparkles8300 The same thing is starting to happen to us right now too. I think most DW brides go through this, so don't take it too personal (as hard as that is to do). I have come to peace with the fact that people have backed out. My Grandma was the most important person to me and she told me, for the whole past year, that she was so excited to come. Then she tells my Aunt that she is not coming now and feels like it would be too much effort. The next person to back out was my BF from college, who I was considering asking to be in my wedding (MOH....OK good thing I did not ask her). She was the 1st one to send in her RSVP as "yes" and the first one to tell the TA her travel dates. But when it fame time to send in the deposit, she wrote to my TA and told her she will not be attending??!?!?! This was 2 weeks ago and she still has not even told me that she is not coming!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say this is so rude, I will not be talking to her anymore. Lots of other people are now flaking out since the deposits have become due and things have become more real. I had another friend back out over email last week. I will not be suprised by anything anymore. I think we just need to be thankful for those that will be making the trip. We should just go and have a GREAT time and take lots of photos and let everyone see what a wonderful time we had. In the end it really is all about the Bride and Groom and that is all that really matters. Yes, we would like all of our loved ones there, but if they can't make it, the wedding still goes on! Don't feel so bad, lots of brides go through this and you are not alone. If you need someone to vent to I am always here, going through the same thing! Oh, girl that is RICH! WOW...lol Not to laugh, but I hope YOU are laughing because that's ridiculously pathetic of her! Seriously, I don't blame you if you never talk to her again. That's so completely unnecessarily rude.

lol..question is self explanatory I guess. I just see so much about everyone being offended by guests/families who come in then leave after the wedding! With us, thats exactly what we're HOPING for. We're even emphasizing the 3 nt packages to the guests with only short blurbs here and there about booking longer. lol Our TA asked what packages she should gather info on..I just said 3 and 5 nt and if someone wants to book longer than that, she can get the info for them then. Are we the only ones who don't want folks hanging around all week? Maybe I should have prefaced this by saying, our resort is smaller, and it's also a bit "out of the way". Theres very little chance of completely avoiding an entire group of people while we're trying to "honeymoon" and FH is NOT wanting to switch resorts (he thinks it will disturb the flow of his good time to have to pack up and move. male logic). I'm the type that if people are around, and I know Im the REASON they are there in the first place, I'll feel bad if I don't hang out with them.

Believe me, we've all been there! A few things that will help you if you keep them front and center in your mind. Google is your friend. I mean that. When it comes to things like off season, wedding packages and photos...go to Google and Yahoo Search and take a look at what has been listed on sites like Tripadvisor.com to get at least an idea of what the general consensus is on what each resort has to offer in terms of weddings. Don't expect U.S. customer service from Caribbean locations. This has been THE HARDEST lesson for me to learn. I expect answers to be timely, concise and detailed. There is a whole different mentality outside of America especially (since thats the only country I can vouch for living in) when it comes to what a "timely response" is or even "detailed". lol WE are looking at it thinking "we have SO much to do that will depend on getting this info-c'mon!" THEY are looking at it as "We are still negotiating our rates with the touring companies..you have a whole year-relax!" Ofcourse WE are right.lol But they aren't wrong either. It's just different perspectives. Plus, remember they are dealing with couples who are having their weddings NOW as opposed to you (and all the others) who are just putting out feelers and haven't even CHOSEN their resort. Potential incoming business is important, but pleasing the guests you HAVE locked in is equally, if not moreso. There are resorts averaging 5 weddings per day...things get busy on their end so we do have to be patient as much as it sucks. Have an idea of the atmoshere you want and work from there. WHERE do you want to be as far as your destination country. Do you want a huge mega-resort or a smaller one OR something in between? Does star rating matter to you? Luxury accomodations? It's pretty easy to weed out at least an initial list from those things as soon as you have a country selected. Just those things alone can cut your list in half when looking at places. Then? Go back to tripadvisor with that shortened list and start looking at reviews keeping in mind, there are some disgruntled guests no matter what hotel it is. Some people are never happy, so go with the average review and don't worry TOO much about a negative one here and there as long as they are few in number. As far as costs, what really helped me was just looking at rates for THIS year and figuring in a 10% increase. As it turns out, my resort isn't having that big a rate hike (yet) but it is really helpful to use that as a guide so that you possibly come in UNDER budget. There should also be previous year wedding package information available on most of the resort web sites--do the same thing with those and that will give you a ball park of what you'll spend. Most resorts are willing to work with you on tailoring a package to fit your needs, ie if you need a cake, but don't care about a music trio. Or you plan to hire/bring your own photographer, so don't need the resort photog that is included in the package. That type of thing. So you can guesstimate a bit on the price going higher or lower depending on your needs. I hope this helps a bit. I know it can seem like you are starting in the middle and doing nothing but chasing your tail when you are so dependant on info from uncooperative sources early on. Just hang in there, and the info will start coming in. Just be persistant and don't panic!

Quote: Originally Posted by WAJA2009 UPDATE Well, my wedding is officially a week away and I have gone through more drama with this than I could have ever imagined. My father insists on bringing the girlfriend and even told her that he would not come if she doesn't come with him. To my understanding, she is still coming to Jamaica but will not attend the wedding because she doesn't feel welcome. I don't really understand that as there will be activities every day that she will also not feel welcome to attend. which means my father will not attend. At this point, I really don't even care. I am so happy that I am getting married in Jamaica and will have 2 weeks to just relax that I probably won't even notice that they are there. I just hope my mother doesn't notice either for her emotional sake. Anyway, thanks for all of your insight! My wedding is next week and I can't wait! WOW! First things first...hats off to you and BRAVO ON YOUR ATTITUDE! You are obviously recognizing the things you cannot control, and determined not to let it ruin your day...that's more than a lot of women would be capable of, so seriously..you've got major props from me and I don't even think you NEED any further advice really:) Your dad is whipped. Period. He's lashing out for whatever reason, and wants to make a point. Fine-let him make it and look like an ass. You love him anyway, as you should, and ultimately, the only person he's hurting is himself because there will come a point down the road where this chick will likely be GONE and he'll have to live FOREVER with the fact that he showed his ass (so to speak) during the worst possible time; his daughters wedding. My folks were married for 32 yrs before splitting, so I know first hand that there is a LOT of water that flows under the marital bridge that kids never know about...so who knows why he's doing this? The point is, your wedding is about YOU, your man and your FAMILY. This chick is not part of that equasion and your father should respect that no matter how he thinks he feels about her. The fact that she bought tickets is on her...it's not your problem. If she decides to "crash" in any way, I'd either ignore her or speak to your coordinator and let it be known that she is not a guest of yours. Let him schlep her ass around if he wants her to be there so badly. People are a mess and if she's willing to tag along KNOWING she's not welcome, it honestly wouldn't suprise me if she showed up at the festivities with his blessing. He seems like he's in "you're my woman, if I'm welcome then so are you" mode. If that happens, ignore them both. It will be up to him to entertain her and make up for the fact that she's obviously unwelcome. I wouldn't even acknowledge her presence and since he's decided to do this and put UNNECESSARY discomfort into your trip, I might even ignore him if/when he comes around with her in tow.