BillysBride

Quote: I totally agree with you. I saw one bride pay $24k for her dress. I was like "Girl, for that amount of money you better be able to drive it or live in it!" Coffee through the nose burns. Please ....a little warning next time. $24,000..on a dress. Please tell me you lie. I don't care how much I had...I just cannot see that. It better have Christmas lights sewn into the bodice and come with it's own groom.

As someone who has to deal with a baby mama from hell...you have my sympathy. Believe me. Now...I think the best thing to do is to come up with a plan. Figure the absolute cheapest way to pull off your wedding and still have it look and feel the way you want (we have four kids, five with his..so you know we're on a budget like no other). Economize, plan it down to the last detail and get a cost sheet. Then you work on your month-to-month budget and just SHOW him that it can be done without putting the two of you in the poor house or sacrificing your future plans. I'm constantly amazed at the amount of money a lot of brides put into their DW's. Not that they shouldn't, I just like the idea of saving where I can and don't really see a need to spend the same amount of money on this as I would if we had it locally. I'm not one to pay 5K for a dress and another 5 for photography, but that's just me and I want to be able to LIVE after this is over. If your FH is worried, put his fears to rest by showing him how reasonably this can be done. I think the big..discomfort for a lot of guys (and family members) is that they have no idea what the REAL costs of something like this can be. They think ..lavish location + wedding and end up assuming it has to be expensive. Just show him that it doesn't, maybe play up the aspect of the honeymoon portion of the program so that he see's the expense serves a dual purpose. Good luck!

If it involves our money, then yes....I'll be pissed to the utmost pisstivity! lol That's extraordinarily rude for anyone to simply assume that just because you're going away to be married, there are no cost incurred by the two of you when people just invite themselves. I'd probably walk a line on this one. If it were ME, just because I don't so much care who watches us get married, but I do care about whose included in the private celebration of our marriage..I'd just tell him "hey, you know if they want to come, fine. But they aren't invited to the reception. That's for family and friends of OURS only."

You looked absolutely gorgeous, girl! Love the pics, and the dress!

Yup. On a boardwalk in San Diego....and I didn't believe a damn word of any of it. Til a few years later, I looked back on it and realized it had ALL happened. I didn't want to hear it at the time, because she nailed some very angsty stuff right off. -Told me that I would not end up with the man I was married to at the time. That the marriage would fail and I would move back east. The reading was in the summer of 1996, I was seperated and back home by August 1998. - She saw me with several children, but she couldn't say spefically what I was having because it looked "very strange. I see you more than one of each boys and girls, but they all look to be about the same age..." This made NO sense to me at the time, and now look what happened. -gave me the initial of the man I'd end up with. Said not to be confused because I would "date several men with the same initial (J), one right after the other, but the initial of the man you'll marry isn't his given name". Made NO sense and seemed easy enough to disprove. Nope. I went on to date James, Jason, Josh and John....Billy is William JAMES. lol -Saw me going to work after I moved and entering a "flat building; one story, very shiny, reflective glass construction." that was my office building for two years after I returned from San Diego. Very distinctive HUGE one story glass building.

Quote: Originally Posted by JulieG No you are not. I hate Phyllis, I always have. I am not fond of who Sharon has become on the show, but I still hate Phyllis more. Thats about where I stand. Phyllis has done so much dirt, with so LITTLE repercussions....ugh. And the fact that she acts all self righteous now just floors me. Hopefully I'll have some more spoilers this weekend. We've been tryin to figure out some stuff for the anniversary of the site, so Daniel is gonna do a podcast with us next week. You gals should listen/call in with your questions!

Trying to HAVE a relationship being parents is so tough....we've just about lost ourselves this past year or so. I feel your pain. But whats more important is that HE feel it....I can definitely understand your being pissed and hurt. I just saw that he has made some replacement plans for y'all..so yeaaaa!! Good on him! He gets it, hopefully. I just called our sitter (she's a girl I actually used to sit for when I was a teen), and I'm waiting to hear from her about Friday night. Just doing dinner and a movie can be so huge for us....(besides, I'm dying to see the Wolverine flick..huge tomboy, and who doesn't wanna see two hours of Hugh Jackman rippling all over the screen?) Vent away anytime..believe me, you KNOW I understand. ((hugs))

I actually want to cry for all of you girls who have spent these past long months in preparation, only to have this happen. For anyone it's affecting, my heart goes out to you. You shouldn't have the greatest moment of your life tarnished by this outbreak. I'm sorry for guests jumping the gun and panicking, sorry for lost monies and so very sorry for all of the confusion and headache it's causing you all. I sincerely hope all of you are able to come up with a viable Plan B that still gives you your dream wedding. Just remember, you're still marrying your guy....hang tight to that and HIM and you'll get through this. Feeling really blessed right now that the only thing we're having to do is hold off on sending out our STD's. We figure it's a bad time to even ask anyone to think about going to Mexico with all the paranoia.

Quote: Originally Posted by hollisandsteph My husband is so hot and cold. He will go weeks where he is a huge help and then like a light switch when he is off, his butt is glued to the lazy boy! You turn him off and there is no moving him. That is when I quit helping doing the things he does...ie he takes care of the floors and takes out the trash and mows the lawn. When he is in his off mode, I still let stuff go without saying a word. It kills me but if I do it, there is no reason for him to do it, he won't. He will just let me take care of it. I learned that years ago. Then his off period lasts even longer. The good things is, he has OCD and cannot stand to see a mess too long so when he see's the trash bag outside of the trash can cause it is too full, he generally takes it out. Last night I had to go out for a few hours I had a big surprise when I got home.. The dishwasher had been unloaded and reloaded. The kitchen was spotless and laundry had been put away with the washer loaded and ready to be started this morning. Also our 3 year old daughter was bathed and in her PJ's! I was impressed. I thought he wanted something but I was wrong..lol This is Billy. I told him he's freakin schizophrenic. There are entire week's where he does so much and keeps the house spotless. Thats how he lured my ass in to begin with; a classic bait and switch I tell ya! I mean, it can get to the extent where I find myself feeling guilty if I sit down and read or surf the net. lol But then he goes weeks where he does NOTHING. I came home one night to find that he had actually used one of the kids spoons..A TODDLER SPOON to stir his coffee becuase all the others were in the sink (I was a bridesmaid that weekend, and duties kept me gone). Yea, this man's lazy ass actually opened up a drawer and took out one of my babies' utensils. If that ain't lazy I don't know what is. I don't get it. He had the audacity one night to try to tell me about something his mother used to do when they were growing up. Said it was just a suggestion...that he was trying to "help". I looked him right in the face and told him to go marry his mama.

Quote: Originally Posted by divadivine25 Thats a great idea but we have an entire wedding weekend planned with the shower as the last activity on Sunday, so I need something that will last me through drinks, dancing, and hopefully a stripper, lol! Ooooh, I see how it is!!! Sookie sookie girl! lol

That is such a romantic type of gown...(sigh). Hurry up with the you pics...you know we start gettin' the shakes after a while.

I had no idea you were even doing this...how freakin' cool and really interesting! Thanks for doin the numbers crunch.

Pink one...love chiffon in the breeze. Nothing says tropical better. Really cute idea!

I'd have to agree. One person's cheese is someone else's classy and romantic. It's all subjective. Google is your friend. Do some searches for non traditional wedding ceremony ideas, and just pick and choose what works for you. No one can tell you what that is without knowing you intimately. We're having a broom jump because it's part of my heritage. I know a lot of friends who were uncomfortable with that and left it out of their ceremonies, but they respect our decision to include it and don't think it's cheesy at all; just something that wasn't what they wanted. When all else fails, get creative. Invent something totally unique to the two of you. Personally, I'm afraid to suggest anything to ya. Don't wanna sound too cheesy. lmao

Alright, here I am being the bitchy rebel again....but if theres ANYthing on this earth I know, it's babies. I know you said you've tried letting him cry it out. But I'm here to tell ya....you ain't tried long enough. The fact that he stops immediately when you pick him up means he's fine, so rationally you know this. But what you have to do is let him cry girl. He makes himself sick? Guess what, his lil' behind will stop doing it after a few times of puking all over himself and having to get cleaned up. OOoh, that sounds harsh, I know..as I'm typing it I am reading and shaking my head at myself. But believe me, one of my boys was EXACTLY like this, and now they are 3 1/2, and I can still see the aspects of his personality that went INTO this behavior he demonstrated at 9 months. Kellen would cry until he was literally gasping, throwing up and rattling the crib. All over me taking fifteen minutes to bathe or do some chore. It ruled my life.....until my mother came over one night and FORCED me to stop letting him do it to me. It's not hurting him. Even crying to the point he makes himself sick. Keep the door open, moniter with you and listen..if he throws up, go wipe him off, take off the sheets or whatever and go back to what you were doing. It's a few minutes, not hours. He'll adjust. Make sure he's somewhere safe and upright and let his lil' ass cry. I am not even joking, I swore to her.. "Mom, this isn't gonna work. you don't know how stubborn he is.." But this was a woman who had raised 9 of us, and mine were grandchildren #'s 9, 10, 11 and 12. She knew what she was talking about, and so do I. Three days. THREE. Two vomiting episodes, and he stopped. He got to the point where I'd leave the room, and he would start getting wound up...then cry for a couple of minutes before SEEING that the same pattern was about to repeat itself as the day before. And he stopped. Wait him out. The problem most of us have as parents is hating to see them "suffer". Feeling the pain of hearing them cry. It's hard. I know. But believe me...its not hurting him, you need your sanity, and he has to learn.

Oh, and at the end of the day, you've got another 8 months before any of this even comes to pass. You could be working yourself up over nothing. He MAY be gone in two weeks, but...maybe he won't. He may turn out to be Prince freakin Charming for all you know. OR, he may be history long before. Don't borrow trouble. Wait the year out and see what it brings. AND, the biggest thing....you refusing to allow this man at your wedding will not keep her from dating him. Think about that. As my grandmother would say, you'll be "showing your ass" for no good reason in the end. All the upheaval, and she'll still be dating the guy or worse yet, she'll cave and give him up so as not to upset her kids. How would you feel then? Chances are, that would be worse in the long run. Yea, it's my wedding and I'd like it to be 100% the way I want as the bride. But sometimes, I think we take this bride shit a little too seriously. There is NOTHING to me worth hurting my mother deeply. Irritating her? Sure. Pissin' her off a bit? She'll get over it. But truly hurt her feelings? No. Not even my precious nuptials. I wouldn't recommend your telling her this guy won't be welcome. That just sounds a little juvenile to me, like threatening to throw a tantrum or something. Just my opinion.

Sweetie....not to overstep, but do you realize how many times you said the words "me" and "I"? I'm not going to tell you what you already know. You said it yourself; its not about you. I SOOOO get where you are coming from. My folks were married 32 yrs before divorcing, then my father died in '00 and my mom has gone on to re-marry twice since then. I get feeling as though you are seeing big flashing red lights and stop signs. I get it. But it's not your call, nor your burden. You love her. You want to see her healthy and happy. So wish that for her..be there for her, love her and support her. But let her make her decisions and live her life without the additional burden of having to please YOU. OFCOURSE, it's your wedding, and if thats all it's about, sure..stick to your guns and insist you prefer no one to be there that you aren't completely comfortable with. But I guarantee you...at the end of all this, you will not be looking back on your wedding day marinating on who was sitting next to your mom. Ask yourself if it's worth potentially hurting her or damaging your relationship with her to police her love life. You can't do anything anyway...that's basically my point. It's HER life, she gets to do with it what she chooses. Respect her that much and love her through it. Your WEDDING is about you..not your mom's love life. Don't mix the two. Just don't make this about your wedding if you can help it because it's honestly not. You will be happy and marrying the man you love regardless.

CONGRATS Kelly and Dave!! Your photos are soooo gonna rock!

A trash the dress IS a photo session a lot of destination (and non) brides do in their wedding gowns. The dresses are rarely actually "trashed"..it's just an expression! Photos are taken in a lot of really "different" or exotic locations...on the beach in the water, in the jungle amongst the trees...the session really has a lot of creative possibilities. Most of the girls say their gowns end up coming out cleaner afterward than they did going into the session! Most choose not to even buy a second gown since nothing irreperable happens to their ceremony gown anyway. Try this forum here on the board: http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/f76/ Take a look around, there are LOTS of slide shows from other brides who have taken part in TTD sessions. They can be wildly romantic or even a lil' steamy. I'm planning to have one done the day after my wedding as well.

Trying to distract myself with other things.....I know there has to be a soap on or something. lol

I agree with Gregsbride...this could be a great time to test run your wedding style or at least a variation of it if you want it to be a total suprise. Maybe if you're gonna wear it up and curly, just do the curly part to see how the curls take/last...or, you can test run the style the night before, then comb it out so that it's just looser curls and wear it down if you're actually wearing it up for the wedding. That way, you're getting a trial, but your wedding look is still a suprise.

Quote: Originally Posted by koonz99 Hello everyone. We are in the process of getting prices for our destination wedding but still haven't picked out a resort. Originally we had planned on Riu Cancun but our travel agent came back with an extremely high price, $2700 Canadian per person for the end of march, beginning of April out of Edmonton. We've been watching prices on all the travel websites and we've never seen them that high, the highest was around $1700 for this year. So we're now looking at different resorts, probably around Playa Del Carmen, like the Gran Porto Real or the Iberostar Tucan. How far in advance should we be booking? Are we getting these high rates because of how far in advance we are trying to book. We do want to give everyone as much notice as possible, though. Thanks Remember- Easter is April 4 next year. Spring break will be within those weeks before and after, so EVERYthing will be outrageously inflated. An agent last year suggested that we book at least 2 weeks past Easter, preferably more, and I think that really helps. I wanted to do it before it got SERIOUSLY hot, but outside of the tourist high season during the winter months. She also said that to estimate pricing, just use current year booking price, and add 10% to get a ball park idea.

so soon- ugh, Monday

First of all...I must say, you all clearly have fabulous taste. lmao But seriously, thanks girls. *ahem* B2B- MsShelly...she's a total sweetie and has been a faithful and diligent b2b. SO glad to see her turn coming up! Mrs-Amarllis...she's everywhere and always has something helpful to contribute!

Quote: Originally Posted by tdmitchell Beautiful dress! I'm really considering buying fron an Ebay seller. The dresses look great and I read in my Bridal Bargain book that the dresses that come from China are made by the same company that makes the designer dresses. The designers may tell the company they are only going to purchase x amount of dresses then they are left with dresses to sell. They just don't put the designer tags on it! Great choice! This can absolutely be true...BUT, be careful because they aren't all the same. Not only check the feedback, but TALK to a bride who had hers done by that seller. A referral is always the way to go...I'm a HUGE Ebay lover for my wedding stuff. The dress looks BEAUTIFUL, I really love it. CONGRATULATIONS!!