beachbride08

Thanks Ladies for all your input, I really appreciate it. I have just been sick over this whole thing, and needed to get some outside advise. Mike and I talked about it last night, and he still doesn't want to invite his brother because of the way he has been acting, and feels his brother owes him an apology. He doesn't even care that he said he is not coming to the wedding since there has been more things that he has said that have hurt Mike that have nothing to do with the wedding.

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I love it, and it looks great on you! How excited are you to have your dress picked out already?

I love your dress and the shoes. I'm wearing flip flops for the reception, but I'll be barefoot for the ceremony.

Perhaps he is jealous, maybe he wants to go but his wife doesn't and they got into a fight about it, etc...there could be a million reasons. This of course doesn't make it right, but by sending their family a STD you and your FI are acting like the better person. I do think he is jealous. The most recent thing, was that he told my FMIL that when he and his wife brought up the idea of having a DW when they were getting married she said she wouldn't go so they didn't have one, but now she is coming to ours. My FMIL said she never said that, and in a way they did have a DW because their wedding was in WI so everyone still had to travel there although not as far as Mexico. She said that it is our wedding and this is what we are choosing to do because it is what we want and what we can afford. On a side note, we know he has the money to go he is just choosing not to.

Ok, I will try to make this as short as possible. We have been talking about/planning our destination wedding since February. We wanted to make sure at least our immediate families and close friends would be able to come so we included them from the beginning. Everyone on both sides said they would come. Once we finally picked a resort (Iberostar) we sent out an email letting everyone know what the '07 rates were for 7 nights, but let them know they had the option of staying a shorter time and that the rates could go up or down for '08 and we wouldn't know exact prices until the flight schedules were available. Again, everyone said they would still come. About a week after we confirmed our wedding date my FIs brother told his mother that he wasn't coming to our wedding because he didn't want the kids going to Mexico. She told my FI and of course he was upset since him and this brother are really close (he was going to ask him to be his best man, and he is not as close with his other brother). A few days later his brother came over and asked FI if he was mad that he wasn't coming to the wedding. He said of course he was upset because he wants his brother and his family at his wedding. His brother flipped a switch and went off on FI that he is only thinking of himself, and is putting his feelings before his kids (he has a 2 year old, and a 6 month old) and we shouldn't be expecting people to pay all this money to come to his wedding. When FI was his best man in his wedding he didn't throw him a bachelor party and didn't give him a lot of money for a wedding gift. My FI was 15 when he was the best man for his brother's wedding and obviously at 15 didn't have a lot of money and couldn't take his brother out anywhere for a bachelor party since he couldn't even drive let alone drink. FI said that we weren't expecting anyone to come, but tried to plan the wedding in a location that everyone could get to and afford and that is why we included everyone in the planning process before we booked anything and he said he would be there no matter what. His brother continued to yell at him and then proceeded to tell FI that his kids are on the top of his totem pole and FI was on the bottom and a few other remarks and charged at FI like he was going to punch him and then left. Two days later was FI's niece's baptism which we went to. They excluded us from the family picture, wouldn't let me take a picture of the baby, and didn't talk to us at all that day. It also happened to be his brother's wife's b-day so we gave her a gift and she didn't even say thank you. We have tried to be the bigger people despite all the horrible things that were said, but the situation has escalated. When we sent out our engagement announcements FI's brother asked his mother if we were expecting a gift. No, of course we were not expecting a gift, it is an announcement! We even told my FMIL that we didn't want to have an engagement party (she offered to throw one for us) because we didn't want people to feel the need to give us gifts we just want people to come to the wedding. A few weeks ago we brought dinner over to my future in-laws house and his brother, wife and kids showed up. FI's sister-in-law came in the kitchen with the baby and asked my FMIL if she wanted to take her and left the room. Apparently, she ran into the living room and told her husband that she said hello to us and we didn't say hello to her and she didn't feel welcome in the family. If she did say hello none of us heard it, and btw neither one of them has said congratulations to me or my FI about getting engaged-yet she is the one that doesn't feel welcome. Last week FI's cousin called his brother to set up a play date for their kids. Apparently, she heard about the fight from someone (we're not sure who, as we have not spoken about it with anyone -until now that I am posting it on here!) and said "I heard you're not going to the wedding because it is too expensive". He then called my FMIL and blew a gasket that we are spreading rumors about him not having money, and that is not the reason he is not going (yet everytime he brings it up money is always discussed), and that he is not going because his kids are going to get sick (FI told him the kids didn't have to come, he could come by himself and he said he had to be with his kids). The whole situation is completely ridiculous, and I am so fed up. His brother is acting like an immature baby and this whole thing could have been avoided if he would have just gone to FI and said I would love to be there, but can't afford it or just simply said he didn't want to go-end of story. Instead, he is throwing around all these excuses, bringing up money (although he says it has nothing to do with money), and the kids and all this other stuff. Then the wife is playing games with the not saying hello crap. Here is where I need advise. FI does not want to invite his brother to the wedding, and quite frankly I don't either. We have tried including them, but there is always some comment made. We just sent out the STDs last week and did not send one to them. Do you think we should still send it, or forget about them all together?

Quote: Originally Posted by BillysBride FH has vetoed the idea of pics before the ceremony. He wants to see me for the first time when I walk toward him....and I figure I won't fight it, since I'm making most of the big decisions according to my own preferences. He hasn't disapproved of much of anything, so its no big deal for me to give him this. I think its sweet of him. Has anyone else found the things that your fiance DID care about to be odd? I mean, the stuff that I went to him with before deciding..he was like "I don't care." But the things I had no idea he would give a darn about, he is putting his foot down on. Wierd. I wanted to do pictures before the ceremony to get it out of the way, but FI wants to be surprised. I just hope we'll have enough time after the ceremony to get all our pics and family pics done before the cocktail hour. He also helped with our STDs mostly because he wanted to save money by doing them ourselves. I loved the way they turned out and liked them better than the ones I would have ordered so I'm glad he talked me into that. Everything else he is leaving up to me. To get back to the question of pics before the ceremony, it seems that more people are doing bride and groom pics pre-ceremony. I don't have a problem with that, but I would not want any guests to see me before the ceremony.

Quote: Originally Posted by Galit I already asked my bridesmaids, but these are so cute I might have to send them anyway! Me too. The cards are very cute!

Very cute pics! I love the sobrero for the flower girl and your dress and bouquet are beautiful. Where did you get the suits for the guys?