First off, to the forum!
You can defitenly plan an intimate DW on a budget. But depending on your budget, you may have to sacrifice a few things.
From your post, it sounds like you are willing to do that. We too are paying for our wedding ourselves, and I had the same inital reservations as you. But this is something we both wanted so we made it work.
With all the help I have received on this forum, especially from the DIYselfers, it has helped saved $. And remember, it never hurts to try and negotiate!
Happy Planning