Dear FI,
You are almost 34 years old. It is time to grow up and start being responsible. I know you have a great job and blah blah blah, but that does not mean you can turn into a raging 16 year old kid whose parents are out of town every weekend. We live in a nice house. It is NOT a frat house. I don't like walking down my basement and seeing it covered with empty beer cans and pizza boxes. Fine, you and your friends get drunk while watching Sunday football, that is perfectly acceptable. But, I am not your maid and I will not clean up your drunk messes. Please start acting your age and learn how to drink like an adult and clean up after yourself and your friends. Thank you!
Dear Self,
Do not walk down the basement until Mike has finished cleaning it, it will only piss you off even more.
Dear Corks,
Please behave and go to the vet with us tonight and be a good doggy. You have an ear infection and we need to get you better. It is so cute when you shake your head side to side, but I know it's hurting you.