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Quote: Originally Posted by starchild I agree with you Amy. As someone already married I'm not speaking in hypotheticals and I can assure you that our group appreciated the time of fellowship. We even had an unplanned afterparty for after the reception, because people still wanted to party. Everyone's guests aren't as outgoing so I guess the key is knowing your crowd. And there was no spending out of guilt for us, we wanted to spend time with people who took time off of work and saved $$ to be there with us. We came back to no bills, no debt, as everything was planned out and prepaid in advance. But we took full advantage of the opportunity to celebrate with our loved ones and they wouldn't have taken the option to do their own thing anyway. They were in PV for us, it's not like we ran into them coincidentally. I definitly did not say everyone having a reception is doing so out of guilt. And not everyone would go into debt for one. But, it doesn't fit everyone's budget. People who don't have the budget for a reception should not be expected to elope just because they won't be buying their guests dinner & having a dance after their wedding. Feel free to delete my posts if they are offensive. I was definitly not trying to offend anyone. I just want people to know there are options for how to do this. People have weddings at AIs all the time without paying for more than the basic package & they work out great.

Quote: Originally Posted by amyh No one is saying you are being inconsiderate. It was my opinion. Our group will not go back to bed, they will want to party. I know my family and the type of weddings we attend. It is an event. You are being very thoughtful, however, I am a little offended when you say I think people get themselves in trouble by spending money they don't have out of guilt. I am not making oot bags, etc, since we cannot afford it, however, our guests are attending our wedding and I want them to have a great time. I am definitly not saying that anyone having a reception is spending too much or that people shouldn't have receptions. I just don't think it needs to be an expectation to have a private reception. And I wasn't referring to anyone in particular by what I said. I don't like seeing people stretch their budget to something that they are not comfortable with to suite everyone's expectations of their wedding. So if someone posts that they don't want to pay for a reception, I feel like it would be more helpful to come up with ideas of things they can do instead. I felt like when the original poster said they did not want to pay for a private reception people were saying that is not considerate of guests since they are traveling to the wedding. I have seen people say many times on the forum that they are not having a reception. Responses are often "it's the least you can do when people are spending so much money to come to your wedding." I just don't agree. I do not think you owe your guest a reception in exchange for making the trip. There are many ways to show you are thankful & show them a good time.

Quote: Originally Posted by marip123 Thank you all for the support and suggestions. My mom has been on the case this morning, and was on the phone for 2 hours with the passport office. She also found a way of the church to send a sealed baptismal certificate, and I'm going to go home and write a list of all your suggestions and talk to my mom about them tonight. Again, thank you so much. You don't know how much I appreciate all your suggestions and help. There's just no way she can't go. She has a new dress and got a new battery in her pacemaker just for this trip! I'll definitely keep you posted! Positive thinking!! A baptismal certificate should do the trick. It's on the list of things to prove age.

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t8294

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t16497

Quote: Originally Posted by md_ocr why is that Morgan. I wouldn't be able to get those through customs? Could I take the silk ones......and if so, how long do they last? yes, you can't take them through customs. Silk ones would last a long time. Just like silk flowers. As long as they are in a box they wouldn't get dusty or tattered & should last a really long time.

you can't take dried ones with you. You'd have to buy them there.

Quote: Originally Posted by starchild We had a 68 year old guest attend our reception afterparty that didn't start until 1am. You don't need to frivolously spend money and get fancy centerpieces and all, but having a set place/time to be after dinner may be appreciated by more guests than you realize. There will be something to do after dinner, it just won't be private. We'll plan it when we get to the hotel. Mike & I won't be heading to our room as soon as dinner is over. We'll probably go to one of the hotel bars that isn't as crowded to hang out. I imagine most people will come with us. But, they might prefer to go to the karaoke bar, the show, to bed, or something else. If there is a hot tub at the hotel that is open at night, I could see us doing that too. My mom loves hot tubs. I'm not sure what we'll do because I have not stayed at this hotel. I plan on talking to some people who have & see what they suggest. We will have a few nights before the wedding to figure it out too. I understand why it wouldn't be great to travel 4 hours to vegas for a 15 minute ceremony. But, the mexico trip isn't just the one day thing. There will be so much more going on that weekend & lots of time to spend together.

Quote: Originally Posted by Alipires1 Yeah that is my fault I sound like an idiot. I meant like that paper stuff that disintegrates in the shape of flowers. You know like the Listerine things that go on your tongue and then are gone. Or like the things you put in the bath that are all different colors but when the water touches them they vanish. Ok makes sense. I had never heard of degrading petals. Anyone see the bridezilla where the girl bought these? And the church lady wouldn't let her use it? Anyway, it was pretty funny. From what I learned on bridezilla it can take a day to degrade. So it would still need to be cleaned up by someone. But maybe it wouldn't create a problem if it got into the ocean like silk petals would. I'll just need to confirm it's not make of anything that would be toxic. edit- I see they are for a bath. Probably not a problem then. I will still need to confirm they wouldn't hurt fish, coral, etc. It's a big deal to me to not mess with any ecosystems if you can't tell.

Quote: Originally Posted by AnnR it took me a second to realize you were saying you were full of opinions, not onions. subtle difference a little letter can make! lol sorry - just had to point that out. fixed it so I don't confuse anyone else. Why do we care if she has bad breath?

Quote: Originally Posted by twelve_piece Morgan- I think having dinner after the ceremony is a reception. I just think it would be weird to have a ceremony, take pics, then tell your guests" ok that was fun, we are going to do consummate our marriage, see ya tomorrow!" And I totally agree that it makes no sense to go into debt over a wedding. Not this applies to anyone on BDW, but more than 50% of marriages end in divorce in the first 2 years and I bet a lot of those people end up still paying for a wedding long after the divorce! the original poster said she was going to have dinner in a hotel restaurant & not pay for a private reception. Other posters said they felt it needs to be private. So I thought this was about having a private reception vs enjoying what the hotel has for free. I don't think she was saying she'd have the ceremony & then head straight to her room.

thought of another point (again, not angry just full of opinions) As I find myself saying a lot, I've been a BM many, many times. Some brides spend a lot of money on gifts, rehersal dinners, receptions, farewell brunches, bridesmaids luncheons. Sometimes it gets a little exausting going to event after event. I do think its a nice gesture, but usually I just wish they saved their money. The things that really move me are heartfelt thank you notes, personal gifts, and most of all consideration for my time and money. The things that have meant the most to me were the friend who let us rewear a dress we had, the friend who made the funniest photoalbum as a gift, & a really nice thank you note I got a couple weeks after a wedding. These are the things that stick out in my mind above the fancy meals, fancy gifts, etc.

I thought of some more things to add. I want to make sure I don't sound like I'm upset with anyone or looking to argue. I just put a lot of thought into my wedding & feel that it will work out great this way. Here I go again, I have talked to many brides outside of this forum (trip advisor, etc). None of them had a reception. They told me what types of activities their guests did after the wedding & it sounds like they had a great time. I don't like structure on vacations. I like the freedom to do my own thing & not have to stick with a group. I do not like organized meals which is one reason why I don't want welcome receptions, welcome brunches, etc. I usually plan a vacation every year on my birthday to avoid organizing a big birthday meal. It's just not my thing. Disliking receptions was one of the things that made me want to leave the country & have a destination wedding. Also, doing my wedding this way has allowed me not to worry about things that people normally get really upset about. I haven't had to worry that I'm 3 months away & have so many guests who haven't booked although they say they will. I don't care when people invite their friends or family to tag along. I didn't have to worry about who i should invite to keep in a budget. I just invited everyone & made it clear we don't expect they come. I've had pretty much zero drama with my wedding. No stress about money, no fights with Mike, no fights with family or friends. It has been wonderful. I am so happy I took the "group vaction" approach to planning. I can give my review after my wedding & say if I am still happy with my decision. i will be honest & let people know if I regret not having a real reception.

I'm a little confused why people think it shows lack of appreciation for your guests to not have a reception. I feel I am being so considerate of my guests & I know they feel appreciated. I picked a less expensive hotel so their trips wouldn't cost a lot ($650-$800 for flight, hotel, food) I'm making very thoughtful OOT bags I've been providing tons of info so they don't have to do hardly anything to get ready for the trip I've organized 2 optional excursions. We are not paying for the fishing trip, but we are paying for the charter van to take everyone to coba. I know the main thing they appreciate though is my time spent researching the trips. We will have a ceremony which I really think guests will enjoy. Afterwards we'll take a group picture that I will send to everyone. Then we'll have dinner in a hotel restaurant. I imagine many guests will head to their rooms after that. We have some older guests who are in bed by 8pm. I know the rest of us can find something to do to have a great time that night. I really don't think any of our guests will feel shortchanged. They are all so excited about making the trip. I feel very strongly that spending money is not the only way to show people you care & appreciate them. I think people get themselves in trouble by spending money they don't have out of guilt. I'm working with a little budget so i have to work a little harder to say thank you to my guests, but I know it can be done. I don't think any of them will look back at our wedding & wish they stayed home because it wasn't worth a trip. Also, my parents are divorced & it could get a little akward. Letting people have the option to do their own thing might make it more comfortable. UPDATE As you can tell, I was pretty passionate as I typed this. I don't think I expressed what I was wanting to say right so here is my update: After reading this thread http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t16904 I realized what went so wrong with my post. I'm worried I came off like I was critising people who go into debt for a wedding or people who spend a lot of money on a wedding. That was not what I was trying to say. I totally respect that we all have different tolerance levels for debt & mine happens to be zero. But, I don't expect others to feel the same as me. Our life experiences shape our feelings about money, so I know not everyone will feel like I do. It's cool though. A bunch of penny pinching misers like me couldn't keep the economy going. I also don't think it's wrong to spend a lot on a wedding if that what the person wants. I just wouldn't want us to encourage someone who doesn't want to spend a lot on their wedding to do so out of pressure. The point I was trying to make was that if someone isn't comfortable with spending enough to do something for their wedding that is usually considered standard, I think we should support them. We can offer up ideas if we have them for how to cover what's needed without blowing the budget. Again, I'm sorry if I seemed rude. I didn't give my email the typical edit of "could this be taking the wrong way" I normally do because I got busy with work. I have complete respect for all types of wedding. Huge elaborate affairs and simple ones. As long as your heart is in the right place I don't think you can go wrong with how you plan your wedding. Thanks everyone for letting me know I came off offensive so I could correct my statement.

Quote: Originally Posted by Yari So weird! I looked too and couldn't find anything. How did you hear about it? Maybe they have a special website. I have a free premium trial in my account. I'll call them later if no one knows.

Quote: Originally Posted by amyh IMHO, if I went to a DW that didn't have some sort of reception/gathering/party, I'd be a little annoyed. I feel like it doesn't have to be so structured though. Atleast I know I wouldn't mind. I feel like there is so much we can do that the hotel together that I don't need to plan something just so it's private. I want people to feel comfortable doing whatever they want. if they want to go to sleep after dinner, go to a club, sing karaoke in the hotel, go to the beach, etc. I want them to do just that. We will have all gone on an excursion together the day before so we will have spent lots of time together.

I have googled like crazy trying to figure this out. I couldn't find anything on the snapfish website about it either. I'm wondering if it's like kodak's premium subscription where you can pay monthly & download all the high res images you want. I might also be the subscription where you can upload videos. But I couldn't find anything to describe it.

Quote: Originally Posted by Alesha4 The search tool isn't that great. I am gonna have to find a thread on here that gives tips and tricks to this search thing. Bugs, issues or "how to" navigate forum questions. This is the part of the forum that has tips for how to navigate http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t13834 About searching there is also advanced search. I don't know of a specific thread about not having a reception. We are not planning to. We'll just have dinner in one of the restaurants. Then we will just enjoy free drinks & entertainment at the hotel. We won't have a lot of people with us. Many will have been out in the sun all day & will probably be worn out after dinner. I don't care to have anything as structured as our own reception.

there are a lot more just like it on the website

Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures - I Can Has Cheezburger? I thought jason's siggy pic was just a funny picture. Turns out it is an entire website. They are looking for some new talent. So if you'd like "I Can Has Cheezburger" on your resume, you might want to apply. wanted ad: I Can Has Cheezburger? is growing — like our waistlines! We’re looking for a Full-Time .NET Developer with a passion for coding with “srsly gud†.NET expertise. You will make the intarwebs a better tube for millions as we expand the capability and awsumness of our sites. We offer flexible hours, a great work environment, health benefits and freedom from the tyranny of spelllcheck. The One and Only Technical Requirement: A deep, deep, deep understanding of developing, deploying and managing customer-facing web sites using ASP.NET (using C#), SQLServer and IIS. We need .NET developers who have been working with the .NET (ASP.NET, IIS and SQLServer) for years and years and years (like at least 5). Experience with AJAX is a real plus. Bonus Skillz: All your bases must belong to you Cannot have lost the game Can make the cake a reality Please send your resume to [email protected]. This job will be based out from under the Space Needle in Seattle, WA. For real. (No resume? No problem. Recreating Tetris using lolcode may also get you the job.)

Yay! I hope you love them too. They are really great videos. Bring it!

Quote: Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 Morgan this is great! I want to do one too now! I don't have any photoshop skills (maybe because I don't have photo shop...) I was going to suggest finding some fab 80's wedding photos. Try to find one from Maria Shriver's wedding. I know she had a billion bridesmaids and they were all in different colors. That is 80s-licious!

sorry, I can't help. Mine was wordy too. I made a postcard STD & had words on the back in a scripty handwriting saying just about the same thing. It was really important to me to emphasize we don't expect everyone to make the trip.

Quote: Originally Posted by carly Seriously, I want one. I might have to hire you Morgan! Too funny! I'll be done with most of my wedding projects soon so I might start a little contract photoshop project. I planned to wait until after my wedding, but with so many people getting married before me or right after maybe I should start much sooner. Superimposing heads can be something I do for people.