jajajaja

Just to clarify- my comments weren't directed at you and I don't think a majority of them were really. Kinda went off on it's own tangent of tacky vs non-tacky or what kind of proposal is supposedly "acceptable." I read that you wanted him to wait when you aren't having a wedding related event- which I think is reasonable. I think it's unreasonable to say he can't propose at all. The comments to you were the worst. Those people need to get a grip or they are going to end up on an epsiode of bridezillas... for real.

Nessa- how many people do you have going? For us, it wasn't a huge difference between the large package and the smaller package because of the price per person difference. We over calculated how many would come, but we didn't know that at the time. I agree with Kat though- not that I've been able to compare the two packages- BUT I do know that extra time is priceless. It goes sooooo fast! By the time you feel like you can catch your breath it's all over.

Quote: Originally Posted by miss_delerium I am actually in the same situation, except that is my FI's BROTHER that wants to propse to his gf...so there definately will be some "thunder stealing" taking place, because their whole family will be there, and he's the youngest sibling of 7 - last to get engaged. I said as long as it's after the wedding I'm okay with it. Just not before (which is only two days) or the day of - obviously. Ya that is a TOTALLY different scenario because it is thunder stealing. You guys SHARE family and guests so it will get more recognition than the average "no body to anyone" guest proposing to another. After is a good compromise because you will be in wedding honeymoon bliss and a bird could shit on your parade and you'd still be happy. Quote: Originally Posted by Lite What ever happend to each their own?!! (opinion) Yeesh. Well obviously you had no problem expressing yours either! I've never been to a DW wedding before, so i don't know if i would dedicate a whole week to the couple. I just believe that the week the guests are vacationing, they would remember why they are on vacation, that week. It's for the wedding!! Yes- they are there for a wedding DAY. I hope they dedicate more time than that to participate in group activities and chill with you all, but I don't think guests are obiligated to. Unless your paying...

I agree Nikki- very well stated. I think many of us "married folks" have also had a moment to step away from all the planning madness and look at the big picture. You gain a far greater perspective after the fact and realize that some of your mini-planning meltdowns were ridiculous and for no reason at all other than stress and nerves. Trust me- I bet so many of you will laugh at your B2B self and have moments when you were kinda crazy. This is one of those moments- kinda crazy. LOL I mean- if you all want to stress and freak out, by all means do so. Just thought some helpful advice talking you off that crazy ledge would be appreciated.

I haven't read all the responses but I skipped mine. I told a bunch of people that weren't going and somewhat giving us flack "dont worry, we will have a AHR." Frankly, by the time the wedding came and went I was over it. Then I started adding up costs for a BBQ for a hundred I said hell no. I don't regret it at all!

TA Dina is an Oahu specialist on the forum. You can contact her via the BDW TAs. Do you have any idea on what resort your interested in?

Are you talking about them doing something the day of the wedding? I didn't like my DH planning that either because those guys together are trouble and I knew they would get wasted and pee on someone. Instead the best man did that the day BEFORE the wedding. Anyways, I have never vacationed for 3 days so it's really hard for me to put that time into perspective, but on our trip, the guys went off a bunch- like did some excursions and stuff while others (mostly the women and older people) hung by the pool and did their own thing. As a group, we usually all got back together for dinner and night activities- hot tubing every night. So I dunno-- I can see it going either way. I wouldn't tell them they couldn't, but I certainly would the day of the wedding because my idiots sound like your idiots.

I started out as a dreams bride and wanted to have a simple simple wedding. Not sure where I blew up, but we didn't want a huge wedding, just some "I do's" and then a party. Then I saw LC and was like umm.... we can put more money towards this right? Convinced him to do the "day wedding" (not sure they have that package anymore) and then did a final switcheroo to the biggest package. LOL! Ended up spending WAYYYY more than we intended but it was really the best decision. Even my DH agrees!

I guess a main thing that may cause a lot of disagreement is that it seems a lot of brides here refer to "the wedding" as the whole week trip. I don't really see it as that. I saw our wedding as the day we exchanged vows and the rest of our trip as a time to celebrate and enjoy the time with all our loved one in one awesome vacation- it was our biggest vacation for TWO years, so it did dictate how we vacationed too. At times we all went off and did our own thing too and I know my DH and I snuck off to have some alone time too. I guess I don't see the big deal in someone having a private moment and getting engaged during the trip- of course, not on THE wedding because yes, that's not the best of ideas. I'd also be willing to bet that so many that have been waiting for a ring wouldn't think it's "tacky" for it to occur on a beautiful vacation that's focus is on the celebration of love. Would it be better if he just decided to skip the wedding and use that money on a different vacation so he CAN propose? I mean really- these people have a life to live too!

I think it's cause they had her go from tough girl Tara to crying over Eggs and suicidal Tara. I didn't like that switch and I liked it much better when she told everyone to go fuck themselves all the time.

Cougs- um yes, I now recall the power then too. Damn I'm all messed up! But it's still early compared to the books. I can't wait til we can reveal what's going on there. I like that storyline.

I can totally see it from the guy's perspective too- they are on an awesome vacation and he wants to take advantage of the romance and pop the question in a really cool vacation spot. Sounds like a romantic idea to me. Not everyone can go on vacations all the time, so I think DW brides sometimes have to remember that yes it is all about you, but the people that are going are also making some sacrifices to be there as well. After all, we are all dictating where they go on their vacation and how they are spending their free money. Anyways, I can understand your point too, but I think a wedding trumps an engagement. I could see people giving their congrats and well wishes, but an all out celebration that overshadows your wedding? I don't see that especially since all the guests are there for YOU. I guess if that were me on the wedding trip, I wouldn't be gushing to people I don't know really well and fanning my ring all over the place. Actually I'm not really like that anyways, but I can't see a lot of people acting that stupid. I mean- ya, it's exciting to get engaged, but I don't think it's THAT exciting to lose your brain and act like an idiot at someone's wedding.

Jenn- As far as I can remember, Sookie discovered her "power" in the later book, in nearly the same way. She was defending herself and sent a huge surge of power at the person. I want to see Claudine and Claud (Wasn't that the brother's name?) Hopefully he's as hot as the books said. I don't remember when Crystal emerged in the books but I liked that she's on the show. I was excited to see that part and my DH loves the show too and he wanted me to explain her mystery so I did. He doesn't like to wait for it to all unfold so I always get to spoil it for him. I'm curious about Sam's family too. Something is up with the father "owning" the son.

Trisha Faber is another BDW bride turned photog. Faber Photography Modern Wedding Photographer She's awesome just like Tammy and Mel! Hmm... at one time I had contacted a whole bunch of photogs but I cant remember the names. You might be able to find a photog list in the PV section. I remember one from long time ago. bridgecolor.com is located in PV I believe

LMAO Jamy. You sound 9 months pregnant or something. I do feel for you though. Sounds like a really rough situation and I doubt it's ever going to improve unfortunately. Some people are just nasty and constantly negative. You gotta do what's right for you and your FI- like setting an automatic bomb off like Jamy said or just moving on and accepting she's a meddlesome bitch. I personally wouldn't give her anything to meddle in- don't tell her crap and ask your FI to do the same. If she asks you about something, tell her you aren't to that planning stage yet.

I agree- mia is on my bitch list. I hate to say it but I don't really care about any of the dancers competing. Each week I get excited when they pick my favorite pro and I really only watch the pro. I still LOVE Twitch and Dominic and I'm sorry, but how am I suppose to NOT watch them? They kill their partners. I hope they have more contestants dancing with one another. It's hard for me to learn who anyone is because I'm so obsessed with the pros.

Just curious- how are you getting info on her input? Is she telling you to your face or is your FI translating? If he's passing on her negativity, I'd ask him to stop. If she's this critical, she's going to always be critical. Pretty soon you aren't buying the right stuff for your baby or your not breastfeeding and she doesn't like that, etc. In order for you to not murder her sometime in the next 30 years, I think you need a game plan on how you will handle it. My advice- tell her politely that you like how you are planning it and if doesn't, then the "if you can't say nothing nice then don't say anything" rule applies. If your FI is passing on her opinions, then he needs to be reminded that it makes you want to strangle his mother so he needs to kindly let it go in one ear and out the other. My matra- ignore, ignore, ignore. You can't change people like that. Don't let them change you!

I think I need to put together a story outline. LOL We are getting all kinds of hints, tips, flashbacks etc and I am really confused as to where the story is going cause I"m mixing up the two. THanks for clearing it up for me girls! I think I'm confused on Godfrey vs Godderick because Godderick shares some of Godfrey's storyline, but the show added more to it- like being Eric's maker.

Well shit Carly--- apparently I don't remember anything I read! LOL I have the last book. I want to read it but I couldn't remember the book prior and I don't know where it's at and I'm worried that once I do and start it that maybe I won't remember what happened before that and I don't want to read all 9 over again! I'm a mess!

Goderick is Eric's maker and I think after Eric's family all died, he was turned... but I cant remember the details either. I thought it was because they were both lonely so Goderick turned him so they could have each other. Was the part in the books about Eric discovering the king killed his family? I don't remember that. And Sookie's "power" came a little early, no?

Nate used to be Elizabeth Lloyd's second... they both photographed our wedding.

Maybe you can help educate her then. Find some slideshows and send her to see their pics so she can figure out what the style you are looking for looks like. I hate to say it though- if you hire someone inexperienced, you will get inexperienced. However, I don't see how she just can't take candid pictures and how that's hard for her understand. I mean, we all do it on a regular basis! Whether they turn out good or not is another story! Some people are just really set in their ways of operating, which will probably result in a decline of their business. I nearly booked a photog and during a phone conversation she tried to make me change my wedding time because she was very good at "sunset" pictures. I kept telling her that wasn't really as important to me and I'd rather have my ceremony during daylight. She was really pushy about how it was her specialty and signature. I ended up saying "no thanks!" I know you probably felt pressured to rehire her, but it's one of those "it is what it is" situations. You gotta decide if you'd rather keep peace or try to explain again and if she doesn't get it, fire her. I hope for your benefit, she finally gets it!

Can she make the seashells but just doesn't know how to do the coral? What if she didn't make them 3D but rather used icing to make them? Is that a good compromise?

hmmm... it sounds like she's confused on her role and maybe she didn't express it well since she feels she is close to you. We hired a photog for my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary... it's no different than that really. Just someone to capture the evenings events and probably do some nice family photos with those that are present. Maybe explaining it to her like that will make more sense. Some people even hire for engagement parties... she must not do a lot of various events so it sounds like she just doesn't get it.

Quote: Originally Posted by starchild Welcome to the dark side of DW planning - finding out who among your friends and relatives are flakes! Seriously some of them will book last minute and it stinks but it is what it is. And as most of us will tell you, some of them won't book and won't go, even though they have RSVP'd with a "yes". There is nothing you can do about it other than remind them, which it sounds like you have done. Find some way to make peace with the fact that they may not be there so you aren't disappointed in the end. (and honestly in the end when you are in the moment looking at your fiance-soon-to-be-husband you won't think twice about these people!) Wow good advice Jamy. Maybe I'm feisty today, but I was seriously thinking "just fuck em all...." LOL. You were much more eloquent. But in all seriousness, once you committed to a DW being your dream wedding, you can't look back. It will drive you CRAZY! You did your part- you reminded people, you assisted with prices, now just let them show if they are truly going. Don't buy into the lip service until they actually do book. I really wouldn't worry about it because it's so late in the game for you at this point. I know it's hard, but just try to relax and focus on how you will be in paradise on the biggest day of your life. It will be beautiful.