I wish I had asked one of my BM's to step down, but I didn't b/c she had already bought her dress. I haven't spoken to her since the DW and she was a PITA the whole time. So, that being said, tell your friend to come if she can, but you have enough to deal with, and those who don't understand that don't need to be involved so closely. I know I am harsh, but I am looking back in hindsight and wish I had been more stern.