I am treating my AHR as I would if it were my actual reception, but I think you can do whatever you want. If you don't want what your MIL wants, don't do it! Here are my answers...
Did you wear your dress the entire time/at all, etc? Oh, I can't WAIT to wear my dress to both my wedding in Jamaica and my reception at home!!
Did you have your wedding party dress a certain way, sit in a special place (like all together) Part of our wedding party will be in what they wore to Jamaica. the girls that couldn't make it, I might just ask them to wear a certain color. We hired a photog, like a real wedding, so I want them to look good in the pics with the bridal party
Did you do any of the first dances (again) Yes. We are going to do "fun" songs for Jamaica, like Bob Marley or something. Then for the AHR, we will go the more traditional route. Granted, we don't have ANY songs picked out. he keeps knocking my suggestions down w/o offering any!
Did anyone make any toasts, or read any passages, etc.? I am sure people will make toast, but figured that would be up to them.
Did you have a DJ, photographer, anything else? We will have everything - DJ or band, photog, possibly a videographer, driviing service of some sort, nice hotel after.