I'm with Jamy. I would invite only those that you want to be there (although we invited all 300+ that would be invited to a "regular" wedding and we still only had the 25 that we knew we wanted there, so I didn't take my own advice, but it worked out for us) and tell the rest how it's just a small intimate affair with close family and friends. And I also agree that if you don't want an AHR, then don't do it. If you do want one, but don't want it to be a hassle, you can totally do something super low-key like a BBQ. And while I don't think having three makes you look selfish, I do think it looks like a huge pain in the ass. When we got back from JA, we had about 1 month before our AHR and I was so over weddings and everything that I wished we hadn't planned it. Of course, now it's fine b/c it was fun and I enjoyed wearing my dress again and getting to see all those people, but the thought of having 3 more to plan attend would've driven me crazy.