I'm in the same boat.....but havn't quite figured out this answer yet, so I'll be interested to hear the responses. On my shower invites, my aunt wrote, "Call me for a great gift idea" and will have a little money tree thing as a centerpiece. For our AHR I really don't want any gifts, but my FMIL is having a fit about asking her fancy friends to give money.....whatever....I said I would stay home then.