We merged our households 7 years ago, my partner really had to adjust to us, me and my three kids. He brought with him a daughter, and now we have one of our own. The messes (lots of them) just blame the kids. Seven people, 2 cats, and a dog, crazy. We have regular date nights, and I try to be patient with him as I am with my kids,( I don't stay mad at my kids for anything, so I try to remember that and not stay mad at him). I also don't conform to the "don't go to bed mad", we usually wake up and we relize how dumb our arguments were, therfore I didn't waste a good nights sleep fighting over something that time, and a good nights sleep, put in perspective.
Its really just an adjustment, and I believe the first year is the hardest, just remember to love each other, offer a cup of tea at the end of a long day, and always kiss each other goodbye, and it will all fall into place.
Kelly~