Wow. I had to send it to my sister. Very funny. Although, I do understand some of the reasoning behind it... but would NEVER do that! I understand the hair portion, because if you are going for a certain look of updos... and then someone chops their hair super short... it's not going to work! And as for coloring... I would be rather upset if one of my bridesmaids decided to go with a different color for their hair... like pure black or red. Not that they are bad hair colors at all... but more than likely it'll look fake and weird.
As for the weight one, I think bridesmaids have to make that contract with themselves! Otherwise you'll be screwed when you can't get into your dress in time! That only applies to the gaining weight however.
As for babies... I would say that to my bridesmaids. Well, not the replacement part, and I wouldn't replace them. But, I would hint that I don't want them to be prego. Although, I actually think all four of them will be when it comes time. But, if I'm paying for them to stay at an all inclusive resort, it just seems like a waste if they can't drink. That's rather silly though. But, what if one of them gets put on bed rest, or suddenly can't travel. That would suck, and I'd be out of a lot of money!
For the dress, I understand that too. Someone has already posted that they had the dream dress picked out for their girls, and they were all too lazy to get it right away and it was discountinued.
So, I agree with a lot of the ideas... but man was she a bitch to actually say them and in that format!!!