MikkiStreak

Frank and I have been talking for quite awhile about what we want to do for our legal ceremony. To me, this is "our" ceremony---- the real wedding that is totally about us in a way that nothing else will be for us. Tonight we were talking about mainland locations---- there are 2 things that I absolutely love, but Frank has had very minimal exposure to---- mountains and fall foliage! We've thought about the Pacific Northwest, New England and Montana/Colorado/Arizona/New Mexico. (Yes, believe it or not, that was narrowing it down for us!!!) So, any recommendations from you guys out there about places you've been to or stayed at? I personally, picture a huge old fireplace with 100% natural lighting from candles for the ceremony, but a nice private location with an amazing view where we can hole up for a week with the cell phones turned off and leave the world behind. And, last, we don't want to break the bank on this---- but really have no clue about whether it would be just as expensive to do this as it would be to run off to St. Thomas by ourselves for a week and get married there....

We have 2 sections about "us." First is a section where we each give our own perspective on how we met because we were both unknowingly "set up" with 1 drink and didn't figure it out for a couple weeks! The other section was just some small tidbits about what we each like, altho FI still has to compelte that section. Here's ours: Frank and Maria - Our Wedding Journey

Consider walking in with an excuse to leave----- "oh sorry to rush, but I have to get (insert location) before (insert time)"..... it helps because then maybe she won't want to start a discussion that has an actual time limit on it. If she asks about SF, just say it was great and you'll have to share the information you got with her later because you've got to rush off.... Just remember--- breathe and don't think about it too much on the drive over there----

Quote: Originally Posted by tvt I just mean that maybe people that don't travel as much would go into it thinking that since it's all technically the "same" resort that they have access to all of it. So, I was just wondering if people were aware that not all sections were created equal. I know what your'e getting at--- it's like with our resort. The resort we've been planning on having the wedding at is the Iberostar Paraiso Complex. It has 5 resorts on it's property. The Del Mar and one other that I can't remember the name of, don't have full access to every area of the resort. The Lindo and Maya have access to all of the resorts, except the new Grand which is adults only. We'll book the wedding at the Lindo and ask our guests to stay there. The information on our website mentions that by staying at the Lindo, guests have full access to the restaurants and facilities of the lower priced resorts. We've also included information on the cost of the day passes if guests should choose to stay at a completely different resort chain. We've also included information on the benefits of booking with our travel agent---- such as being able to make payments on their travel instead of having to pay a lump sum up front and also getting discounts on some resort offerings (spa and golf), and also that by booking through her as part of our room block, they are then "tied" to our wedding party and get higher priority than other guests with the resort. Hopefully, this will get through to them that we've really done everything we can to make this affordable and easy for them- but should they choose to stay elsewhere, they've now been told what to expect for costs to attend. I think, like Glenda said, if you present the information in a manner that let's them assume they are going to be responsible for the costs if they stay elsewhere, as well as putting the costs on your website and spreading the word by mouth, hopefully that will cut down on how many people stay elsewhere so it's not too large of an amount to pick up the cost of day passes for those who truly need them.

I agree with Courtney on this one. We have it posted on our website that the day passes for people not staying at our resort are $100/each. But, we didn't specifiy who was going to pay it. My plan is to get a feel for who is attending and how many day passes are actually going to be needed. If the number is low, I'll go ahead and pay for them. I'm also planning on talking to the resort to see if they will pitch in a couple passes for free. Some resorts do, some resorts don't. But hell, it doesn't hurt to ask. Plus, I kind of look at it like this---- we're asking them to attend a destination wedding because we want to spend time with them and not just the day of the wedding. If they don't want to spend the time with us and want to stay at a different resort, then they shouldn't be offended by paying for their day pass. And if it's a money issue and they can't afford to pay for the pass, then their finances are too tight and they shouldn't even consider attending...

I completely agree---- if it's a money issue but her kids are being paid for by her employers, then she should spend 2-3 days at the resort and then move to a cheaper hotel. But the time she pays for transportation to the wedding and the resort pass, she'll have shelled out just as much as if she had stayed there. As for finding her a hotel to stay in---- if you have a TA, point her in that direction. The TA can try to persuade with the benefits of staying at Dreams, and if not, can possibly point her in the direction of the nearest Motel 6. Now, as for the MOH role---- Yes, demote her. Even if she gets her shit together and applies for the passport, it could be a huge hassle for her to receive it and make sure it's correct. Plus, if she's taking her kids, she's going to have to get their passports addressed and if she is a single parent, she's going to have to deal with the parent authorization letters to have the kids travel with her. The passport alone is enough reason to demote her. But then add in the dress she hasn't bought, the plans she hasn't made for once she arrives, and leaving everyone else in the bridal party hanging in limbo---- and it's an "ABC After-School Special" waiting to happen! It can be done politely and without hard feelings. Make it about her--- how you're trying to save her money, how you'd feel guilty for her spending so much money on passports, the dress, and accommodations----- she'll wind up thinking you're a saint for letting her off the hook....

Here's the ones my FSIL found--- PEARLY DESTINATION WEDDING COLLECTION, Beach Weddings, Seashell Bridal Bouquets & Pillows, Bridal Shower Favors The hanging ones are pretty for decorating aisles, gazebos, etc...

Quote: Originally Posted by Just Martha I was flipping through my Modern Bride and came across this bouquet. Jokingly I asked Jay if he liked it. Turns out, he LOVES it. I never would have thought to use something like this...I am not really sure I like it, but since he has mentioned it several times, I think I might use one just for him. If not, I think I might make several small ones for our table. The picture is not that great...I couldn't find one online that looked like this, so I used my cell phone to take a picture. What do you think? Hey Martha--- My FSIL had found a website that had really pretty shell bouquet and centerpieces. I'll PM you the website when I get home tonight. But, in the post I had put on here about it, Leigh Miller pointed out that where the bouquets are concerned, they are really heavy to carry. But, the website my FSIL had found had some cool hanging corsages for decorating a chuppah, etc... and some smaller ones that I thought would look good hanging from small shepherd's hooks at the ceremony...

To love someone deeply gives you strength. To be loved by someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu We put this on our website....

Quote: Originally Posted by kemiller How much would it cost to use their photographer? It sounds like it could expensive paying for your own, flying them down, paying for lodging and paying the $500. You should do the math to see if it makes sense going with theirs. Just a suggestion. Here's the thing--- even if you're not flying someone in, you still are stuck with the fees or putting them up in a room at the resort. If you choose someone local, they still want you to pay $350-380 to put them into a room for at least one night (if not more). Either way, they get your money unless you can negotiate the fees/stay out of the costs and get it from them in writing.

I think some of it depends on whether the locations are all-inclusive resorts or not. I think a lot of the AI resorts don't require a huge deposit on the wedding, but they usually do for reserving a room block. When we were looking at various AI resorts, they usually wanted 50% of the wedding package you chose (without the optional items calculated) within x amount of days of booking the wedding date or you'd pay a fee for cancelling within x amount of days of the wedding date. I think it's differente for non-AI resorts tho... I get the impression they operate more like normal hotel/banquet facilities do with larger deposits upon signing contracts...

I love his wedding band! I've had the same problem when we've looked at them---- all the men's rings look too similiar to me. Either too plain or too strange looking. But I love the simplicity of the center part of the band, but the detailing on the outside is original and makes a great accent!

You might want to check Funjet, as well as Expedia, Hotwire, Orbitz, etc... When we were narrowing down locations, I did a spreadsheet of resorts in St. Thomas, Jamaica, Mexico, PR, DR, etc... Then I took a specific date range and priced each resort through Apple, Funjet, Orbitz, Expedia, Travelocity and Hotwire. I started to notice a pattern---- one supplier would be cheaper for St. Thomas, but more expensive for the other locations. What I noticed is that Travelocity was cheaper for more of the resorts in RM... I'm sure if you go to several sites to price compare you'll find something close or will beat what you already found. And once you hear back from your TA, I'm betting they would find something even better...

If you really feel like addressing the issue, next time you catch her checking him out, just kind of lean over and say in a loud whisper (as in, loud enough that other people could kind of hear), "I really hate to see you humiliated in front of everyone, but it's kind of embarassing that you continue to flirt and check out a man whose about to be married to the mother of his child."....

I think your ok with this one. They have had over 3000+ sales and all came back with 100% positive feedback. I didn't read them, but you could probably look over several of them to see if you notice consistencies in the feedback. Also, if you do the Paypal thing and have the Paypal funds taken out of a credit/debit card on your account, you should be covered for any issues. Plus, if you're really concerned about it, you could ask the seller to ship it a specific way to you (insured, requiring a signature, etc...). Just make sure they do *not* ship anything through USPS.... they like to advertise they have tracking numbers, but the USPS tracking numbers aren't for a specific package- it's just for the pallet the package was on (along with dozens of other packages). Tell them to ship either UPS, DHL or Fed-Ex...

Quote: Originally Posted by redwards Aww thanks!! The flower girls are actually David's nieces...they are awesome! The little ringbearer is my nephew - and my older sister is the poor pregnant BM...but isn't she cute w/ that belly?!?! My first niece was born like 2 weeks later! LoL! Ooh, btw...I wanted to explain the random bright orange garter! You can't really tell in the pic, but it has UT on it...which is the college my husband went to. We had a joke about how I had to be a Longhorn fan if we got married etc. Totally silly, but he freaked when he saw the garter! He barely got it off my leg when he said, "I don't really have to throw this, do I?" He was SO worried!! It was cute. ;-) hehehe, they're so serious about their Longhorns, aren't they My FSIL is a *huge* UT fan, but her husband and my FI are Notre Dame fans and during football season they goade the hell out of each other when their teams lose...

Quote: Originally Posted by DREA14369 Does an apostille and all that stuff apply for Cabo weddings? I know down in PV, RM and Cancun it does.... I don't know? What's that? Also how do I go about with the license when I go back to Orange County? What are the steps....for those of you in CA. It's a document that certifies your state issued documents (like bc) are authentic, as required by the Hague Convention. You may want to email Maye about the legal requirements. I don't know about the Cabo area at all, but my understanding is that in all of Mexico you have to have an apostille attached to both birth certificates. The apostille is obtained through the State Department in the state the documents were issued in (state that issued your birth certificate). I'm sure the other Cabo brides know more about the requirements tho...

How about just using "Mrs. MoTM" and "Engaged MoTM"? That way it doesn't sound like it's just directed to a specific group (Newbie, Member, Senior Member, Elite Member).... Anything else out there that might be cuter for the title?

Quote: Originally Posted by JaimeLynne Yikes, the shipping on that site is as much as the product! (12.95 for the Digesta Lac and 12.95 for two day shipping, which is the cheapest shipping method). I think I will go look for it at Whole Foods. Also, where do you get your Aloe Vera? Jaime- if WF doesn't have it, try Roy's Natural Market on Preston/Forest. I love that store!!!

Congratulations Drea!! Eloping has sounded like the best option for you guys for quite awhile now---- I'm glad it's all coming together! Does an apostille and all that stuff apply for Cabo weddings? I know down in PV, RM and Cancun it does....

Congratulations!!! I love the "Just Maui'd" pic too! That is great!!

Quote: Originally Posted by host the problem with this is 90% of the time hotel group rates are higher than going elsewhere...they give you a general high number to see if you will bite. also, this rate is not set until a contract is signed and deposits made. Totally agree and have seen this myself! When I contacted hotels myself about group rates, they would only offer like 10% off the price listed on their website---- but TA's get them a lot lower than that!!!

I personally like the beach. But, if you do choose the gazebo, make sure that if you are using a resort photographer, ask specifically to see photos of the gazebo weddings this person has done recently. The reason is because the majority of the work I've seen in the resort photographers (regardless of country) are basic snapshots---- and even in good lighting situations, I've seen things like the person not cropping people out of the background, etc... and where gazebo's are concerned, I've seen photos where the bottom half of the bride is washed out completely (no detail in her dress, etc...) and the top half is too dark because of the shadow lines from the sun. Make sure you have confidence that if you're using the resort photog, they know enough about photography to read light appropriately...

Small company called ICS. Had I known that 2.5 years ago when I was looking for a new job, I would have kept moving on.... (Hence, why I'm looking for a new job now too!)

I've seen this one before and it's one of my favorites---- Here's a perfect example of this mentality in our office---- our owners drive a Hyundai. Why, you ask Because they feel that if they drive anything more associated to their income bracket (BMW/Hummer/Lexus/etc...), the employee's will start asking for raises.... And, yes, that means, we don't get raises. Ever. Not even cost of living increases. You make the same when you're hired as you do when you retire.