MikkiStreak

Christa, I think it's wonderful that you see the underlying issues--- it sounds like you've recognized the underlying issues that are causing you to be upset about this entire situation. You've been taken for granted, and taken advantage of in this situation. It's completely understandable that you would be upset. But, having had similar situations arise with my teen, I can say that the hardest thing I struggle with is displaced anger. I have seen in her behavior/attitude the end product of parenting issues. And, it's a lot easier to be angry with her at times for these end results, than it is to be angry at the people who have allowed this to transpire. In all honestly, it sounds as if you have some displaced anger toward Richard about the position you've been put in, as well as seeing his ability to take advantage of a situation to his benefit. But think of it like this: If a child had anger issues because they had been abused, would you be mad at the child or the abuser? That's an extreme comparison, but it is valid. How justifiable is it to be angry with the child for exhibiting behaviors that are a result of other issues? I don't mean to sound like it's all Rafael's fault. God knows he's in a hard position too--- and it's great that he has YOU to help encourage him to focus on parenting rather than guilt---- and it's great that his kids have YOU to help their dad, which helps them. I will say this: I personally don't know if it would be a good idea to sit down with Rafael and Richard together to discuss this. The reason I say this is because if Richard sees that there is a weakness in the parenting, he WILL take advantage of it because that's his habit. To change the habit, you have to change the cause. To change the cause, you have to work with Rafael and let it come from his own parenting decisions. He has to come to all this on his own terms. But, being the person who has to put up with all this--- you do have the right to set boundaries. You have every right to tell Rafael that you understand he feels guilty, but it's not your responsibility to accommodate this by shuttling his son to/from school. You may understand the overcompensation due to guilt, but if he wants his son driven to school in the morning- then he can be the one to figure out how that is going to happen and make all the arrangements. I agree that Richard should not be 'catered' to when he's the reason why he isn't already driving. But I see another circle going on here too---- Richard is taking advantage of his dad, but his dad is taking advantage of you if he's put you into the middle of this as the 'solution' to the driving issue. On another note---- I'm a firm believer in natural consequences---- If I had my way in your situation, Richard would ride the bus to school in an effort to motivate him to get his license. But once he got his license--- he would have to start 'arguing' his case for WHY he should be allowed to drive to school when there's a bus nearby. How exactly would his driving to school benefit you and Rafael?

Christa, play it by ear. Every company I've worked for does pre-screen testing, and random testing. And at every single place, they ALWAYS do the pre-screen, but they have NEVER done the random. Most companies broadcast that they do the random, but rarely do they actually exercise their "right" to do this because it's so costly to them. I would say that during the 'prove yourself' phase, they might test---- but once you have proven yourself to them, they rarely do them because the managers don't want to lose someone they like/trust over something like that. I agree with you on the political stance. I'm a former pothead and I would still love to get high on occasion. I'm thinking the reason they justify having the random tests is because of the meth/crack/coke heads of the world who get addicted, then can't support the habit and wind up stealing to pay for it. In an accounting position, this could put the company at risk to have someone like that in a position with knowledge of company finances that might entice them to embezzle to fund their habits. On another subject---- Carly, keep an eye out for FI's health.... I have a brother who is a functional pothead and has been for 20 years. At the age of 42, he now has heart / lung from all the years of use, and about every 2 months or so, one of his lungs collapses (without provocation)--- all thanks to the ganja for 20 years.

I guess I look at it like this: She's giving you a gift of money to help with the wedding, and if (for whatever reason) the amount of that gift changes, then it's still a gift to be gracious and appreciative about- no matter how frustrating it may be when the information changes. Think about this situation if it occurred for any other event in your life. If your aunt said she was going to give you $200 for your birthday, and when you got the check it was only $100--- would you be upset that it wasn't as much, or would you call and thank her politely for her generosity?

Ok, now I'm checking mine to see how large it posts. I know what you mean--- I've seen some really HUGE photos with all the tickers, etc... in them also and it does bother me on occasion to have to scroll down so much. But, I think I might be a violator too, of the 'big pic' thing...

Why does one pound of chocolate mean 10 pounds on my ass? "What would this country be without this great land of ours?" - President Reagan After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans? Do fish get thirsty? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Quote: Originally Posted by TammyB We actually thought about that, but never really decided to do it. I know the concerns were that some people are better at making sig pictures then others so we didn't want someone to be dismissed because they weren't good at that sort of thing. But maybe the mods can revisit this question and I'll let you know. Maybe use 2 different categories---- contest for those who use professional software (Powerpoint, Illustrator, Photoshop, Lumipix, etc...) and those that are just photos without using any software to ramp up the presentation. I know this is going to offend people--- but honestly, I think some voting situations are just popularity contests--- and I think that could help level the playing field too...

PF just looks better and better every time I see photos of it! Can't wait to see the review and hear the details of the visit and discussions with PF about your wedding plans.

I was thinking about this---- wouldn't it be cool if the challenge was a contest every month? Everyone could submit the pic of their siggy in a post, then everyone could vote on it, and the person could win something---- like points or something. It could be a great thing for newbies to get them more active on the forum and give them a chance at some points (as opposed to the lottery, where Ann and Beachbride are the only ones who win! hehehe, just had to throw that in there!).

Welcome back! Keep the pics coming!! I love PF---- I'm hoping that when we start planning again, that we have a good enough feel for how many people will attend and we can have it here!

Sol might be having email issues if the address used came out of a server based in Mexico... I think a lot of people have had issues down there with email ever since the hurricane went thru...

I would find out from your travel agent what the difference is between prebooking and a room block being reserved. Most of the room blocks I've heard brides talk about on here have a deposit per room, but not per person. And, like Tammy said, they have perks---- block xx number of rooms and get a free cocktail hour, or they might waive the fee for a "private" party, etc... And most of the room blocks I've heard brides talking about have a clause that you can release rooms without penalty if it's done by a certain date in the contract. For the rooms that do get booked, the deposit they paid was then applied toward the wedding expenses at the resort. I personally, WILL do a room block if we have the wedding at an AI. We will have about 50 people going with us, and I want to do whatever I can to make sure that guests aren't forced too book with other hotels because our resort is filled up, which would wind up costing us more money because we'd then have to pay for their day passes to attend the wedding.

Honestly, I'd probably have them announce with his name. I guess I look at it like, you'll have both names from there on out--- let FI hear it once without the correction...

Quote: Originally Posted by md_ocr Mikki, if they choose to book that on their own, are you responsible for providing the group transportation? or will each individual have to carry that cost? When we send out the invite package, we'll include a list of scheduled non-hosted activities and any associated expenses with them. They'll see the price of the activity, and an approximate cost on transportation (based on how many people RSVP yes to each activity). I figure that since the guests going to Mexico will be the family and friends that we are closest to, and they will be more likely to want to spend time with us. And, since a lot of the activities we're looking into are things people commonly want to do on vacation in that area, we're basically offering them a hassle free, less expensive way to do it through group rates and putting together transportation information/cost for them.

I think soltamargo and matt adcock are getting married there. Both are photographers and are members of this forum...

Curious ladies---- When you get your contracts from your vendors (photographer, room block contracts, venues, etc...), I know things are defined that specify what the couple's responsibility is, in order for the vendor to be covered in case something changes with the couple. (Example: Cancellation penaties, deposits, etc...) And I know the contracts state what the vendor is responsible for. Example: venue space, delivery dates, products, etc... But is there anything in your contracts to protect you if the vendor doesn't meet the expectation? If you were promised something in the contract by x date and it doesn't happen, are you guys stating specific consequences for the vendor? I bring this up because I've seen posts from brides who booked their weddings and then found out the resort was booked to capacity and the guests would be moved elsewhere (costing the couple more money), and I've seen brides whose weddings were moved to different locations on the property than what they had agreed to with the resort, and I've seen photographers not deliver on the timelines they gave to the couple, etc... So what in your contracts addresses this, in order to protect you?

I think your schedule looks fine. Ours will be similar for hosted events, and then we'll include some non-hosted outings that people can RSVP for just to get a group discount rate and not have to deal with planning the activities (zip lines, shopping excursion, dolphin swim) themselves. But those will be optional for them...

I would definitely steer clear of the pawn shops. The majority of them will try and say they only buy jewelry for the gold value, not gem value. I'd say Craig's List/Ebay would probably be the best way to sell for you to get the most from the value. If you sell to any business, they are going to bump your price down because they have to mark back up for resale. For example: if the ring is worth $3000 by appraisal, then you could sell on Ebay/Craig's List for $2500. But if you sold to a jeweler without purchasing jewelry from them, they would probably offer you around $1500 because they'll want to markup to $2500 and cover their expenses for having it in their inventory (like insurance, marketing, etc..) And they may offer even less around this time of year, because if they can't sell it before the end of their tax year, they will have to pay taxes for having it in their inventory. And if you went to a pawn shop, you'd probably be lucky to get $1000 for a ring valued at $3000.

Sometimes no matter how much a parent might want to be in their children's lives, the guilt & pain they feel about the past prevents them from changing the relationship. They just don't know how to deal with it, so it becomes easier for them to just avoid it. I have a similar situation-- I've only spoken to my mother once on the phone in my entire life. She has had numerous opportunities to be included in my life, but has chosen not to. I always thought it was about me--- that she didn't feel strongly enough about me to even make an effort. After a conversation with my uncle, I realized it was about her--- she felt so much guilt and pain about the past that she couldn't risk having to touch those feelings, much less deal with them. And I am the reminder of those feelings.

We're doing beach towels in ours. It's part of the overall theme of the OOT bags--- We just got basic cheap towels that were on sale at Anna's Linens and are putting in suntan lotion, after-sun care, custom word puzzles (based on marriage and each of our interests) and pens, hard plastic re-usable margarita glasses in our wedding colors, travel size tequila bottles, beach themed notebooks, cards / poker chips, beach themed travel candles, bath salts in our wedding colors, snacks, and some other stuff I'm not remembering right now...

Quote: Originally Posted by PVBride My Mom and I are flying out next Friday and will be back on Monday. Adam, the owner at Playa Fiesta, is comping our stay!! I never dreamed that I would actually get to see Puerto Vallarta and Playa Fiesta before our wedding!! Yay! PV Girls, anything you would like me to bring home or check out for you?? Just take *tons* of photos of every little detail!!! It's still on my list of places, depending on how many people I think we'll actually take with us! And have FUN!

Trish- the photos are amazing and Leigh did a phenomenal job of really capturing the moments! This is such a neat thing-- to capture the moment and emotions that every woman wants to remember vividly in detail for the rest of their lives---- and these photos do that! Kudos to Shawn for thinking of having Leigh there, and for giving you a visual reminder of one of the most special events in your lives!

Paula, those dresses are so beautiful--- really elegant for a little girl! I love Jim Hjelm dresses---- half the time, I swear I love their non-bridal dresses more than the bridal gowns. And Julie, your niece is just too cute in that dress! Little people are just so adorable when they are in their 'dress clothes'. I think my favorite flowergirl dress that I've seen has been the one Nabumbah had for her wedding (the blue/green dress that someone in her family made).... It was so unique and so cute on the little girl!!!

Quote: Originally Posted by Nrvsbride Okay this is cheesy so I take no offense if you don't like the idea, but when I was in a sorority in college and we had mixers we used to do themes. For example you could do "Famous Couples" one night. Instead of a name tag you make tags with famous couples. You hand them out beforehand (or when people arrive to a certain location at the resort) and then they have to find their counterpart. For example Aunt Jean's tag reads "Wilma". Now Aunt Jean has to go find "Fred". When she finds him they will introduce each other and start mingling, etc. You can do "Zack Morris"-"Kelly Kapowski", etc. Or you can do drink names. Like someone will be "Buttery" and the other person will be "Nipple". You get the drift. Its just a way to mingle and get your guests talking to each other and it helps differentiate them from other resort guests. You know, this is a great idea--- and if they wanted to get away from name tags, they could just do a drawing for their name when they first arrive. Think I need to bookmark this thread....

Jackie- after you unzip the file, are each monogram a pdf?

Nope, not alone. The idea of dress shopping *really* makes me want to elope. 1) I don't want to deal with any bridal associates high from sniffing commissions. and 2) I don't want the attention thing either. I'm tempted to just buy something online, but because I wear dresses like once every couple years, I am horrible at picking something out because what I like is *never* what looks good on me. Something about one-piece outfits in general always look like shit on me.