MikkiStreak

I say ignore the guy if he tries to contact you again. If he persists, just flat out tell him that he is of no consequence to you, and your concern is for your BF and her marriage. Any other type of contact is going to antagonize the guy and he will say something to your best friend, who could turn it around on you to make you the 'bad guy'. As for your best friend--- why doesn't she want to end her marriage? Simply because she's afraid of what she'll lose in a divorce? That's not a reason to keep dragging her husband down with her. If she wants to stay married because she loves her husband and wants to repair her marriage, then she needs to get her act together and get some counseling. To be blunt- she sounds like a manipulative drama mama--- doesn't want to give up the marriage until she's 'secure' with her other relationship. Regardless, it appears she knows what she wants (be with the new guy) and is just trying to find someone who will 'approve' her behavior. In which case, I would just tell her your opinion once and *never* state it again. Let her make the decision- you can still be there for her...

Quote: Originally Posted by Christa Ewwwwww Maria! Really, they live like that? That is boardering on a call to the health department. I wouldn't go. That's just unsanitary and gross. What other explanation do you need? Or, you could bring your own plate & utensils?? Yep, hate to admit it- but their house is really bad. To the point where this weekend they were going to have a free fire inspection done on the house and I had to tell them that the fire department works very closely with the city inspector's office, and that they're risking being reported and fined for all the issues with the house (foundation is collapsing, holes in the roof where squirrels enter, holes in the walls where rats enter, a big empty concrete swimming pool that is shifting upward because they never put holes in the bottom and filled it in with dirt, etc...)... The house is so bad that literally---- they were turned down by those 'we buy ugly houses' people...

Quote: Originally Posted by Galit I love it. Imagine Maria showed up with disposable plates and forks... oooh, I have an idea! Maria why don't you tell them you have decided to become a Jew and will only eat kosher food - that lets you bring your own food PLUS disposable dishes and utensils... clearly this is the perfect solution hehehe--- well, being Jewish would certainly get me out of this dinner and probably all future dinners too----- much too offensive for the Catholics to think one of 'their own' jumped ship to another religion.

Dear FI, I love you, I love your family and spending time with them. But I am absolutely DREADING Friday when we're expected for dinner at their house, and what I would give for an excuse I could use without turning this into an issue between us. I know you think I'm unreasonable, but it is NOT NORMAL or HEALTHY to eat in a home with roach and rat problems. I know your family thinks the 'rat problem' was resolved when the cat dragged out rat babies from under the dining room table, but has anyone asked, WHERE IS THE MOMMA RAT? And just because you don't see the roaches walking across your plate DOESN'T mean they aren't crawling across them in the cupboard before you use the plate!!! Honey, you saw how I freaked out and bombed our place, scrubbed the dog, had her shaved/groomed and washed every linen and blanket after seeing ONE FLEA on the dog. What do you think my reaction is going to be Friday?

What Makes A Mother? I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today I asked "What makes a Mother?" and I know I heard Him say "A Mother has a baby" This we know is true "But, God, can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you?" "Yes, you can" He replied With confidence in His voice "I give many women babies When they leave is not their choice Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay" "I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here" He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear "I wish that I could show you What your child is doing today If you could see your child smile With other children and say 'We go to Earth to learn our lessons Of love and life and fear My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom Who had so much love for me I learned my lesson very quickly My Mommy set me free I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day When she goes to sleep On her pillow's where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear Mommy, don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here' "So you see my dear sweet one Your children are okay Your babies are in My home And this is where they'll stay They'll wait for you with Me Until our lesson is through And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you So now you see what makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start Though some on Earth may not realize you are a Mother Until their time is done They'll be up here with Me one day And know you're the best one!" Author unknown

Quote: Originally Posted by Christa Well damn Maria, that's a lot of crap going on. I'm glad your FI is taking care of you, even if that means feeding you vicodin, fried chicken, vodka & nicotine!! Yea, it's been a long week. He topped it off tho--- after I went to bed last night, he apparently ran another errand, because when I woke up this morning, there was a dozen roses and a bag of Ghiradelli dark chocolate & raspberry candy on my nightstand. I'm so lucky--- he's such a wonderful man and is SOOOOO good to me.

Jaime, that's a really good deal! Espeically since he's driving up from Houston and it covers so much time. Most of the photographers I've contacted for engagement pics want about that much for 2-3 hours, 1-2 locations, and the prints are separate. Curious, is this a photographer you heard about through Patti Jo? What locations are you going to shoot at?

Dear FI, I appreciate you today. Not everyday, but definitely today. Your ability to read my mind has been absolutely DEAD-ON today. From the Starbucks coffee you brought me after I finished my 12th hour at work to the dinner you picked up from KFC despite the fact I sent you to get chicken at the store because I still planned on cooking when I finally got home. And once my tired ass finally walked in the door after a 14 hour day, you told me to sit down so you could get a plate and soda for me and then sat there keeping me company while I inhaled that meal in about 3 minutes flat since I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. And now, you're driving to the store to buy me cigarettes because in my uber-stressed, exhausted, drained of brain juice state I have decided I want to get liquored up and a cigarette sounds like the perfect side dish to my martini. And you've done this kind of thing all week for me. When I sat in a chair for 3 days this week, unable to walk because a freaking cyst the size of a lemon had exploded in my uterus--- you walked me to the bedroom, brought me massive quantities of narcotics, did the laundry, cooked and cleaned all week, and called me several times a day to check up on me. I am lucky. I am appreciative. And more in love with you every day.

Quote: Originally Posted by DreaW Relax with me first then play your game!!!!! Sex has the same effect on men as turkey does at Thanksgiving---- they fall asleep afterward...

You are my hero--- I bow before greatness! What an amazing sense of sarcastic humor! I absolutely adore you Glenda! Quote: Originally Posted by Nrvsbride I just found this thread and need to catch up so bear with me: Dear Heidi's boss: Maria defined Karma as a bitch and it's coming your way, you miserable f'n bitch! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Karma, It appears you got lost on the way to Heidi's boss and accidentaly landed on Maria. Kindly type in F'N BITCH in your GPS system and I am sure it will lead you to that miserable wench! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sarah's Patient, You also are a miserable bitch. Everyday of my life when I have to leave for work at 6AM b/c NYC can't get their damn transportation system in check, I wave to people like you. You know the ones that have no jobs but mooch off my taxes, while you live with your drug dealing baby daddy, in a nicer apartment than me b/c your on welfare and the law says your entitled to have one room for each kid of a different sex, while I have to go to work. To you I say "F@CK YOU!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Skinny BDWers, When I see your siggy and your toned bodies I immediately run to the bathroom and shove a toothbrush down my throat in the hopes that the cheeseburger I ate for lunch will come out and not settle on to my ass. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Aunt Flow, Please stop visiting Tammy B. You have never once been invited, yet you persistently feel the need to come over. Why don't you mosey your ugly face on over to people like Sarah's patients or the losers that live in my neighborhood. All of society would thank you greatly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Jerry Springer, Please have your producers contact Trisha's SIL. The topic is called "I want to f@ck my brother" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Jill, I didn't know you went to law school. I'm so sorry for your loss. Law school sucks A$$! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Julie, You are quite possibly the best sister in the world. If only more people had the heart that you do, the world would be a better place. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Melissa, Jamy and Maria, B/c of you I wear depend diapers to work. Please cease all hysterical commentary until I am home from work. Thank you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Boobs, You were meant to rest on the top of my chest not down by my belly button. Kindly adjust yourself b/c my navel has sent me an eviction letter. Thank you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear co-worker, While that dumb blonde, bat your eyelashes trick may work with our boss I am not buying it. You were a dean of languages at the University of St. Petersburg in Russia. You have 3 masters and two law degrees. You speak 9 languages. You are a laywer in NYC. I am not buying the dumb act so stop pawning your work on me and do your own job. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear 19 year old girls, While I admire the fact that your tush doesn't require a "WARNING WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH" sign like mine's does, I would really appreciate it if you would get the f@ck off my FI when ordering a drink at the bar. With a hot ass like that and your slutty predisposition I'm sure you can find your own man. In love and hate, Glenda

Dear Whiny Bitch Developer, I don't really give a shit that you have 70 tickets you are working on. Guess what? So does everyone else around you and they aren't bitching about it. I DEFEND you guys even when I think you are being lazy sloths! So if I hand you 5 tickets for bugs and actually take the time to detail the shit out of the issue to make it easier for you to fix quickly, and then walk back to your desk to NOTIFY you of the 2 issues that are critical and explain them in detail and politely emphasize that this is for a huge corporation with name-brand recognition with contacts who bend over backwards for us and help us all collect a paycheck every week---- Then DON'T send the ticket back to me with a note saying that you simply won't fix any more bugs for this particular client because you don't have time. Fuck you--- why don't you grow some balls, you halfwit! I was just at your desk 5 minutes ago when you pretended you would get it done by the end of day tomorrow. Fucking primadonna's...

With the exception of my current job (which came from Monster) and my first job (which was a personal referral), this is how I started in my career and advanced with each job movement: 1) I used google to find companies in my area that specialized in my field. 2) I looked on the careers page of their website for any possible openings, and applied for what I was qualified/interested in. 3) If no jobs were listed in my field with the company, I simply called their main number to obtain the name of their CEO, or if the company was really large, who the VP of the IT department was. 4) Once I had either the CEO's name or the VP's name, I would call to get their email address and direct number. 5) Then I sent my resume to them direct, and followed up with phone calls. In the last 4 companies I worked for, they had no postings on job sites for positions that I was qualified for. But, once the CEO/VP saw my resume, they CREATED jobs for me based on my expertise.

With the exception of my current job (which came from Monster) and my first job (which was a personal referral), this is how I started in my career and advanced with each job movement: 1) I used google to find companies in my area that specialized in my field. 2) I looked on the careers page of their website for any possible openings, and applied for what I was qualified/interested in. 3) If no jobs were listed in my field with the company, I simply called their main number to obtain the name of their CEO, or if the company was really large, who the VP of the IT department was. 4) Once I had either the CEO's name or the VP's name, I would call to get their email address and direct number. 5) Then I sent my resume to them direct, and followed up with phone calls. In the last 4 companies I worked for, they had no postings on job sites for positions that I was qualified for. But, once the CEO/VP saw my resume, they CREATED jobs for me based on my expertise.

Believe me, I understand where you're coming from. My in-law's are really anal about this too. In fact, when FI's sister got married this summer, they had this 'consultation' with the diocese to get the 'official' stance on whether one of the brothers could walk their sister down the aisle, and whether they could take communion because the sister was getting married in a methodist church. Celebrate the fact that they are willing to step aside from the religious dictatorship for a few days and actually be there for their son. Have the resort wedding planner handle their access to the property for the wedding---- but you know what? If they can't get on the property, it's their own fault for waiting so long to decide their son was more important than a stupid religious stance, and keep in mind that this reflects far more on them as people than it does on either of you!!! Oh, and if they DO try and guilt you---- turn about is fair play!!!! Dish it right back out to them! "I'm sorry your son wasn't important enough to actually make your plans with more than 1 weeks notice."

The pics are a little off on my monitor--- real small with some appearing on the left and others appearing at the end of a sentence. But if I'm putting the correct pic of you in each dress to each of the model photos---- I would say the Pronovia dress. I love the bottom detail on the dress, and I love the way it looks on you! The other dress looks good too, but I'm just not a fan of that black sash and overall, it just doesn't have that 'pop' for me like the Pronovia dress does...

Dear future in-law's and FI's best friends- I just want to take a moment to tell you how much I appreciate the fact that all of you nagged the shit out of me to cancel our "weekend get-away" plans to celebrate mine and FI's birthdays this weekend and next and instead, to throw a big-ass party for FI's 40th birthday (despite the fact FI hates the idea of a birthday party). I really enjoyed busting my ass to come up with a plan in order to stop hearing about how I'm keeping FI from his friends and they have to do a 'drive-by' with their presents for him because of me. And now that I've planned everything with 30 people in mind---- starting with the trip to the casino, the nice sit-down dinner, the custom cake I already designed and ordered, and the private party I arranged for at a local pub------ NOW you feel the need to tell me that only 6 of you are actually going to attend because you have other shit going on. Signed, The mouse who just ran circles in her wheel for NOTHING! (PS- You can fucking forget whatever brief idea flits into your ADD minds when his 50th rolls around----I'm taking his ass out of town and turning off the phone so you can't call him at 6am on the weekend to see if he happened to watch some obscure interview on TV the night before)

I think it depends on what's under the cake. The cake we had made for Audrey's birthday last year had fonant on it. We had to drive an hour to the party site, and even with the cake in the shade with the air conditioning running the entire drive---- the areas with the fondant started collapsing. But under the fondant was a really thick layer of buttercream. So I think the ability to hold up in the heat is relative to how thick the buttercream is underneath, as well as the ingredients in the cake. For example, fondant doesn't hold up well with liqueur based cakes. The moistness of the cake has a hard time holding up the fondant. I will agree---- fondant doesn't taste horrible, but it has a texture to it that kind of throws off my expectation for the cake. And, if your baker is skilled--- many times they can make the buttercream frosting really smooth and unless you're right next to the cake, you can't even tell it's not fondant.

Quote: Originally Posted by Christa Love you Maria! Thank you so much for helping me through this. hehe, one of us has to stay sane! And it's probably not going to be me, so..... Seriously--- anytime. You're a good person, you have great instincts, and you're commitment to Rafael and his kids is amazing. It's harder than anyone realizes to raise someone else's kids, so if you need encouragement, perspective, listening--- I'm all ears... Audrey once said to me (in a fit of anger): "Before I come live with you, I think you need parenting classes." My response: "There isn't a parenting class out there to teach someone how to pick up where other people left off..." If we can teach each other thru life experience---- it's all good. We may fuck them up a little every once in awhile, but hey- they'll come out of it stronger in the long run. (haha)

I'm in... Just send me a PM when the money needs to be sent, or else I'll forget...

Quote: Originally Posted by Christa Exactly Maria. I am so confused with all of this because Rafael has always been about preparing Richard for pending adult hood - instilling responsibility and accountability. Now all of the sudden there is this flip. He even said last night that I am responding to him doing something different one day than he said he would do several days before - YES, EXACTLY!! I am confused by inconsistency. And the plum part of all of this is Richard gets to see & hear all of this going on (an apartment definitely doesn't make for holding private conversations), which probably pleases him in some weird way that he's creating conflict/controversy in our relationship. ACK! Has Rafael ever given you specifics on when he feels he's giving in to his guilt? Like, if Richard says/does <this>, then I'm likely to feel bad and respond like <this> even if it's not for the best? Is it possible Rafael could identify situations when guilt might cloud his normal judgement, and if so, then come up with some plan between the two of you where you lead him back toward rational parenting? Trying to overcome guilt is a hard thing for anyone to do-- is it possible that you and Rafael can define what he needs from you in those moments so that it encourages him in the right direction and also helps minimize the impact all this has on the two of you? When I think about situations with Frank and I, there are times when I've flat out told him---- when Audrey says this, I just want to come unglued and that's when I need you to do <this>.... kind of like 'predictive parenting'... I can sometimes recognize my weakness'es and that allows me to give specific tasks to Frank so that the two of us are still strong but also diffuses the environment more overall...

Quote: Originally Posted by trisha0612 it wasn't just like "MUAH" I love you..it was like....WIERD!!!!! kind of like, an angelina jolie moment? wow- I can relate!! I think we're engaged to men with the same sister!!! FI picked up his sister at work once, and on the way home, he car flirted with another girl. His sister chewed him out for being disrespectful to her because 'how does that girl know you're not my boyfriend?' And when we first started dating, this sister would 'escort' him down the aisle at church, with me trailing behind them.... and she'd try and sit between us at dinners, etc...

Quote: Originally Posted by Christa He went so far as to say " I don't even know what you do all day, it's not like you have to be at work." Let him find out what you do---- simply STOP doing it for a couple days. Leave the dishes in the sink, be "sick" so you can't take his son to school. And when he gets home, ask him to go to the grocery store with a nice long list, and when he gets home, ask him to make dinner and clean up. I am being insensitive and harsh in my expectation that the boy just get on the bus & ride it. I do not understand all of the things he has been through. He has never had to ride the bus. He is a junior. This is a pride thing for him. This is a big deal, and although nobody told me it is a big deal, I should have known (you know my super power mind reading skills and all). We have to treat the situation gently. I am more sensitive to our animals than I am to the child. Yeah. cool. Interesting. Then I would ask Rafael--- how does he see this progressing over time? I mean, if you have to drive his son to school every day because he doesn't have his license, and he apparently isn't too inclined to GET his license, then once he gets done with school, who is going to drive him then? And if he gives the generic male answer of 'he'll be driving by then', how exactly is that going to happen without something to motivate him? If it's "traumatic" for him to ride the school bus, where he KNOWS kids who are also on the bus---- think about the suicidal drama that will evolve when the kid has to ride PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!!! Oh my God- how will he survive I ask why he let Richard stay home from school - he says because he was tired and sore. What? Wow--- I really hope Richard finds a boss someday who is that compassionate---- and if he does, let me know where he's working, cuz I'm totally willing to relocate for a job like that!!! I think I've finally hit that step-parenting sucks wall. How do I support my husband and live in harmony when I whole heartedly disagree with how he is handling this situation? I know, I am not a parent. I have not been divorced. I do not know how this feels for him. I can see he has a lot of guilt, and he is allowing it to influence his parenting decisions in a really odd way right now. I can also say that I am a child of divorce. My mom expected a lot from me in terms of figuring out how to be where I needed to be, getting good grades, being a good person, helping around the house. I was sad that I didn't have a father in my life, that impacted me for a long time. Yet, I did not need to be disabled in my development by having my mother coddle me. She turned out a very capable, responsible, productive person in me...and for that I am very thankful. So, yes, I know what it feels like to be a child of divorce. I also know what I'm seeing & it scares me. I've seen other step parents go thru this - where it ruins their relationship because they disagree with how their spouse is parenting. I really don't want that to be us. I'm pretty sure counseling is in order here. I think counseling is a good suggestion--- family counseling, as opposed to marital counseling tho. It sounds to me like you two have the communication fine, but differ on the parenting roles/responsibilities. And at some point, it might be good to involve Richard in the family counseling too. You're in a really difficult position, and there isn't a pat answer that just works across the board for every person in every family situation. I can say that Frank and I run into this with Audrey. When we differ on a decision about Audrey, I try to get Frank to see past the current and look at the end product. For example, in your current situation--- ask Rafael for details on how you're both going to get Richard past the current situation---- Goal: Richard drives himself. How do you get him from Point A (you're driving him) to Point B (Richard getting a license) to Point C (he is responsible enough to drive himself to/from school/activities/work, etc...). See if Rafael can come up with a 'plan', something concrete that outlines specific actions and timeframe... and if he can do that, then outline consequences if it doesn't happen. If there's a definition of what the goal is, and a plan for how to get to that goal- then maybe you won't feel like you just have to put up with the current situation, and it might keep you and Rafael on the same page instead of finding yourselves at opposite ends of the problem.

Dear Pharmacist, THANK YOU FOR VICADIN!!! I carry it with me everywhere, like a child's little security blankie....

Dear Karma--- You suck ass. WTF did I do to you to deserve the year from hell Because of you, I have planned a wedding, postponed a wedding, watched my father almost die, moved my parents to a nursing home, had to sell their house and belongings, watch our 150 year family home be put on the sale block, spent 6 months going thru numerous cancer tests only to find out I have some fucked up rare skin disease that makes me blister head to foot, and I'm not even going to cover the ABC after-school special that IS my daughter drama, and to top off the year---- I'm now at home in excruiciating pain from a fucking burst ovarian cyst... One more thing--- just one more thing---- and I swear I'm going to get an AK47 and find a really tall fucking building.... fucker...

Quote: Originally Posted by A10CALGAL Oh wow Maria, I knew I could count on you to chime in & make me think! I totally agree with what you are offering up here. You are right, I shouldn't be mad at Richard, but I have to be honest & say that I am. And again, you are right, it is definitely displaced anger. That is exactly why I try my hardest to communicate honestly & immediately with Rafael when stuff like this bothers me. Generally speaking that works pretty well since he is not one to open up on his own & discuss things. So, if I open the conversation with what's bothering me, I generally get to hear what's on his mind. That was probably redundant. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is when I feel this anger/resentment (i.e. the title of this post!) I take it upon myself to address the issue with him rather than hold it in. So, I guess what will happen is that we will have a lengthy chat this afternoon when he gets home from work - based off of my initial attempt to explain why I was pissed this morning. Regarding the driving - it would benefit us because then we wouldn't have to shuttle him around all the time (not just to/from school, but after football practice, etc). Also, once our home is built, we will be further away from school & there will be no bus option, so he's going to HAVE to drive. Good for you! Believe me, I have struggled consistently with displaced anger in my own situation. That's why I vent so much on here about it!!! I have no contact with the dipwits who caused her behavior, so I can't involve them in the solution!! ARGH!!!! Anyways--- always trust your instincts--- from every post I've read from you about your step-parent role, your instincts are DEAD ON!!! That's one of the things that makes me really mean it when I say that those kids are really lucky to have you in their lives. And the driving thing--- I completely agree that it would be a huge benefit to you guys. I've started using this philsophy with Audrey and it's really helping her to develop her ideas because she has to see it from my perspective in order to argue her case effectively. And I like making her argue her case because when she has to be self-sufficient in her own adult life, she will constantly have to defend her position/ideas in work and life. Kind of helps get her half-way into that line of thought to start now. For the driving thing, we told her that if she drives our vehicles, we are liable for her mistakes as well as liable for seeing our own insurance rates increase. So she's working on her 'argument' for why we should be willing to take on those risks. And she knows me well enough now that her arguments have to show the benefit to ME, not her. (ie: if she gets to drive the car, she can run errands for us after school so we don't have to do them after work; she also has to incorporate into the argument how she plans on showing us her responsibility if we let her drive. I figure- hey, why should I do all the work to tell her yes/no for everything and define her boundaries/limitations with the privledge? She should have to persuade me, since it's MY vehicle/time she would need!)