MikkiStreak

I saw something in the Shout Box that made me want to open this thread for discussion/advice. I'm a member of a few photographer forums where I've seen a *lot* of discussion by photographers lately dealing with copyright and fair use laws. Off the top of my head, I know of one photographer on here (Leigh) who has posted in the past when brides ask for advice about their photography contracts. Leigh has given advice for brides to ask for ownership of their images. I never really gave much thought to this until I started seeing the other side of the argument from photographers. As more and more cases are filed in the courts about copyright infringement in the music industry- the focus is going to start shifting toward other industries also. In fact, it's gotten so absurd that just within the last few weeks, a case has been filed by a women who posted a short video on Utube of her small child bobbing in time to music in the background. The music industry went into action on this to have the home video removed from the website on the grounds of copyright infringement. I really want to encourage brides to address these kind of issues in your contracts with your photographers. Most photographers I've talked to and seen postings from are usually ok with the images being online as long as credit is given. BUT, I've seen a handful of photographers really go off about this too---- under the claim that when clients post images in their online albums, websites, blogs, etc... that it allows people to use software like Snag-It to capture the image, print and distribute it, and thus- screws the photographer out of revenue from their work. So, it would probably be wise to define these in your contracts--- who has ownership? Is giving credit for the work enough to satisfy both parties? What about the ability to share images online? What avenues can you use to share your slideshows? etc... I would hate to see anyone get a "shock" if their photographer feels so strongly that they would consider any legal action--- but until copyright laws are given more definition in the context of the digital age and use over the internet, it is still a liability for both sides of the argument.

Here's the resort spreadsheet: http://bestdestinationwedding.com/fo...omparison.html Not sure how well it will work for AHR sites, but who knows---- I honestly haven't looked at it much lately...

Maybe it's time to re-direct the conversation with Jas---- if she tells you that CJ is giving the time of day to this girl and then comes back and accuses her of (insert accusation).... how about asking her how she feels when he does that? What does she say back to him? What is driving her to stick it out and defend herself with CJ? etc.... Here's a book that has become like a bible for teens to me: "Staying Connected to Your Teenager (How to keep them talking to you and how to hear what they're really saying)" by Michael Riera There are a lot of good suggestions in the book that I've really had a lot of luck with where Audrey is concerned. It's really interesting because it relates a lot of teen behavior to their development, and how parents can work that in their favor to help their kids.

I've made these additions to the budget spreadsheet: * Savings calculator * Guest list tracking * Vender contacts * Registry needs * Gift tracking * Payment schedules * To Do list * Bachelorette Party Tracking * Shower Party Tracking * Photography Comparison * Guest/Headcount summary page A couple people have asked for this recently, so I'm posting the new version. Just remember--- don't add/modify any of the colored cells (they are set to auto calculate numbers and information inputs on other pages in the spreadsheet). Budget Breakdown.xls

Actually, all of last year, my 16 year old had this kind of problem. Audrey's boyfriend Aaron was being hounded by his ex-girlfriend--- she would write him notes, tell other kids they were getting back together, try to corner Aaron and make things look inappropriate so Audrey would get pissed and either fight her or leave Aaron. Aaron tried taking the 'higher ground' by telling the ex flat out that he wasn't interested, he was not going to break up with Audrey and to leave him alone. This girl was a DRAMA QUEEN and really wouldn't give it up. Here's how we handled the situation: When it first became an issue (the girl trying to provoke Audrey), Audrey would start talking about it. I'd sit and listen without giving ANY kind of advice or opinion (talk about biting my tongue!!!). I'd ask questions to clarify the situation, but mostly let her vent and get the ideas out of her head. Eventually, she'd come around to asking me for my advice. After everything she had told me over several weeks of episodes, I told Audrey what I thought: That any response this girl got from Aaron and Audrey was satisfying this girls need for Aaron's attention. And no matter what message they told the girl, simply SPEAKING to the girl in any manner was going to keep her coming back because she was only going to hear what she wanted to hear. Even when Aaron would be 'mean' to her and tell her to get lost, etc.... this girl kept coming back and trying to stir things up. For the most part, Audrey knew what to do--- she just needed some subtle help translating that into reality. For example: Kids hear all the time- "don't let her get to you"... or "don't get into a fight about it".... or "just ignore her".... but they don't always know how to make that a game plan. So I'd ask Audrey questions that would put her in that situation: If she comes up to you tomorrow and says (insert some of the comments that had been made), what do you think you'll do? What if she keeps coming after you verbally? What would happen if you did (insert suggestion)? It helped her in two ways--- first, it got her thinking in advance so that she wasn't responding with instincts (which aren't always good in kids), and it got her thinking about the consequences if she let herself get trapped into reacting to the other girl. It took MONTHS for the situation to end. Audrey and Aaron both had to not only stop speaking to this girl in every form, but anytime the girls name came up in conversation with other kids, they had to stop the conversation and walk away because if this girl knew they were talking about her, it would keep the drama going. As for discouraging Audrey to see Aaron, we didn't do that. At her age, I have to let her make her own decisions more and more, and just be there to help her be responsible for those decisions (including paying the consequences for bad decisions).

Hey--- another idea--- For those who are looking for a position, why don't you post what you're currently doing, and what you're looking for? Doesn't have to be real extensive--- just job titles, industry type info. I know there's a couple recruiters on here, as well as HR people.... and if there are openings within companies other members work at, it could be a great source of referrals and networking...

If you don't send the STD/invite, it will always been viewed that they were the victims because you chose not to invite them. If you do send it, it will reflect on THEM, and well it should! As for the other behavior- I think a lot of times people get caught up in the idea that we're ALWAYS suppose to be polite and nice and not offend people, to the point that we let other people mistreat us and/or walk all over us. Well, I think there's a huge difference between being polite and respectful while standing your ground, and becoming a welcome mat for every bad behavior people exhibit. You have the right to draw the line of unacceptable behavior and it sounds like now is the right time. This may sound strange, but I've done this multiple times with people in my life and I'm telling you- it works! You have to 'train' them how to behave by forcing them to deal with their own issues instead of using you both as a dumping ground for their emotions. I have a brother who used to behave like this with me, almost daily. There was always something I was doing that pissed him off, and he always thought he should be the one to tell me the 'right' way of living my life. For the longest time, I took it---- but eventually I realized that he was unloading on me and that by keeping my silence about it, I wound up feeling like shit while he wound up feeling a little better. After that realization came the thought that he is responsible for his life and emotions, and I am for mine. From that, behavior changed. It's kind of amusing to me now, looking back--- but basically I had to "train" him, kind of like how I train my dogs. Ignore the bad behavior and reward the good. Anytime he tried to unload on me, I would simply give him one sentence that would summarize my position (ie: "We would love for you to attend the wedding, but we respect the reasons why you don't feel it's an option for you."). Anything he would say after that, was ignored. If he really got pushy about it, I would just tell him one last thing--- "You don't get to play a part in my decisions and if you don't like it, that's fine, but I don't want to hear it." Then I'd walk away. Anytime the subject was mentioned after that, I would just walk away. Anytime the subject matter dealt with something else, I would participate. This is how I take the "high road" now. And it works. It takes awhile for people to get used to it, but in the long run--- my life is so much better for it. It's not my responsibility to make decisions that make life easier for everyone else and it's not my responsibility to change so others feel better about their own involvement.

Yep, I've had my identity stolen twice: once by someone who ran up memberships to sex websites, and worse- someone who opened credit cards in my name and I didn't find out about it until I started getting collection calls. First--- call all 3 credit agencies and report the identity theft. Ask them to put a flag on your account for 30 days to buy you time. From there on, anytime credit is requested, the creditor will have to call your FI and ask him security questions before being approved. Second, get a copy of the police report and make sure it details the issue! Send this to all 3 credit reporting agencies. This will put a 7 year flag on his account and creditors will have to call to speak with him personally before credit lines are opened. This will also require credit agencies to block any derogatory items related to this theft from appearing on his credit report. If anything does show up on his credit report, he should immediately request validation of the debt from the creditor and send a copy of the police report to them. Despite what they may say, THEY are responsible for PROVING the debt is his- otherwise they can't pursue it with him. Biggest thing I can say---- DETAIL EVERYTHING! Keep a log of every phone call made, the person spoken with, and a description of the call and any pertinent information. Do this even with the police department!!! It's been 5 years since I dealt with my identity theft and I still have issues because the police report didn't include any of the details I provided them (like information about the credit card that was opened without my kowledge). It has increased my insurance rates, plunged my credit rating, and I still get harassing phone calls as the credit account is passed form collection agency to collection agency. In my case--- since the police report didn't detail anything and they won't update it until the case is officially 'closed', I'm kind of screwed.

Quote: Originally Posted by dragonfly Dear Dad~ Happy Birthday, I wish you were here so we could celebrate, I can't believe you have been gone for a year already, I miss you so much. I can't seem to get my act together life is just so damn lonely without you in it. The kids miss you so very much, Kenda misses her "how's my lil princess", moments with you, and Nicole is missing her book buddy. Timothy tries so hard to take care of his gramma, you would be proud, he cuts her grass takes out her garbage and calls her everyday. Liam well he is growing everyday and I fight to keep the memory of you alive. I thought I knew how much you did for all of us, but I guess I never really knew the extent. It is so much work taking care of Nicole without your help, juggling the kids and hospital visits, and therapy without grampa picking up the slack has been difficult. Your steady resolve that Nicole will get better has left me, I need to hear your reassuring voice that all will work out. I got married without you, it was hard, it was beautiful but you were really missed. Timothy is getting confrmed, he doesn't want to without his grampa by his side like all your other grandchilden had you, not sure how to handle this one. Our house is beautiful, thankyou for all your hard work you put in to it in the planning stages, I'm sorry you never got to see it. I'm sorry about many things, I am sorry that the cancer was missed because you were so wrapped up in what I needed from you in regards to Nicole. I'm sorry that when I noticed you were tired, I thought it was because you were taking care of my kids, plus driving to sick kids everyday to make sure I had dinner, and Nicole was doing okay. I am sorry that the last year of your life were spent worrying about us. I am sorry you cancelled your cruise with mom because you didn't want to leave us while Nicole was so sick, and I am sorry that mom is now on a cruise with a new man that she has met. I am sorry we didn't make it to Ireland, I will go one day in your memory, I promise. I am sorry that no longer believe in God, I know how important he was to you, and maybe then your death would be easier. I am sorry that I have not been the strong person you raised me to be lately, I keep trying but life just keeps pushing me down. I am sorry that I went to get coffee and you died without me by your side. Dad I would have made a birthday dinner for you, as I always did we would have sat around the table drinking red wine, talking politics(no one wants to do that with me) enjoying the friendship that I was lucky enough to have with you in adulthood. I don't fit in in our family anymore, I try, mom tries, Cathie tries, and Sean tries but we all know that it was you and I that were bound to each other and no one quite understands me. We will keep trying Dad because once we stop we will lose what you were all about, your family. I am heading to the cemetary in the morning, I hope I have yet to make it inside the gates, but I am going to give it a try, Liam baked cupcakes and wants to picnic, we'll see. Dad I love you, I miss you, Kelly~ Kelly, Never forget that you are your father's daughter. He lives inside you and even while you grieve him, take consolation from the fact that because you shared such a strong bond with your dad, you exemplify him in everything you're doing. When you take care of Kenda, you're keeping him alive to your children. When you keep making an effort with your family, even if you don't feel as strong of a bond with them, you are living what your father taught you. Having seen a parent/child relationship like the one you describe, gives me the ability say this with absolute certainty: You are keeping your father's memory alive because your children see your dad in you everyday! In you, they see the same qualities you saw in your dad. And just like your dad passed down little pieces of himself in your personality, so you are doing with your kids. Your father's presence was a gift for you; He showed you and taught you things that you were only meant to learn from him. You are better after having learned these things, and now you can share and teach them to others.

Wow, that things huge---- looks like it would seat 610 people from the way they've laid it out above....

Quote: Originally Posted by akh (btw - i added them to the post so people could see them easier!) thank you! I still can't figure out why I can't do that---- even when I paste the URL into the Insert Image field (mountain/stamp looking thing), it still just comes out as a URL in the post...

Quote: Originally Posted by Stephanie 525 Those look so great. How long did that take you? It really wasn't long--- about 5 minutes per cookie to put on the royal icing, and another 5-10 minutes to decorate with buttercream icing. The longest time is always baking them, letting them cool, and then the time it takes for the royal icing to harden before decorating... It was fun to make them.... I'm making a second batch for Frank to give his employees...

My work is having a Halloween food contest this week. Prize is $100 in each category. So I thought that instead of hand painting cookies (I do that at Christmas for presents and parties we attend), I would try actually decorating with icing and using bakers tools/tips. So, here's my first attempts....

Catherine, Here's my edit.... Dear Family and Friends; We’re getting married! We have chosen flip-flops over high heels for our destination wedding in St. Thomas. This area of the US Virgin Islands promises to be lots of fun in the sun, with its beautiful beaches, fun activities, and tons of R & R. We would love to have you attend our intimate affair while enjoying the beauty of the Virgin Islands. We have chosen October 18, 2008, so please save the date! We’ve been told St. Thomas weather is ideal in October. Our sunset wedding will be held on the beach at Magen’s Bay on Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 5:00pm. Travel arrangements are being handled by for guest accommodations at . We realize it may be difficult to attend our October 2008 wedding, and we understand if you are unable to join us. We’re crossing our fingers with hopes that you can join us for as long as you choose to stay. There are so many things to see and do in St. Thomas, regardless of the length of your stay. The law could change at any time after December 31, but passports are not currently required for travel to the US Virgin Islands. If you plan to obtain a passport for your travel, please allow yourself (insert timeframe) to receive it. You can go to your local post office with a certified copy of your birth certificate, photo ID, and passport photos (which can be taken at you local CVS. Walgreen, or Picture People). The application is available for download online at Passport Home. Formal invitations will be sent closer to our wedding date. At this time, our wedding coordinator is requesting a tentative guest count to help us in planning events and activities for our wedding weekend. Please return the tentative RSVP by January 31. We look forward to planning our private destination wedding and spending time with all of our loved ones. Love, Lawrence and Catherine

Dear FIL's: I love you dearly, but the OCD you have about FI is borderline disturbing. And the 'clique' mentality really should have ended on your high school graduation day. My family didn't come out to celebrate FI's 40th birthday dinner just to sit around being ignored because you were too busy slamming jager-bombs and dominating FI's time. When I see you behave like this, it really makes me question whether I want to spend a buttload of money on a wedding where FI and I will spend the entire time apart because you will want to have all his attention and I will spend the rest of the time trying to prevent everyone else from being left out. And by the way---- if it didn't come out of your pocketbook, then it's really not cool to offer the entire bar the food & drinks that *we* are paying for. Just an FYI---- it's generally not looked upon as 'parent of the year' behavior to force your 14 year old son to stay out until 2:00am after he's been running ROTC drills since 6am just so you can drink and party with FI's friends.

Jill- Would you be willing to separate the harrington totes? I would definitely buy the two pink. Maria

Quote: Originally Posted by jak27 This is the first thing that popped into my head too. I don't know the regulations regarding how an employer can force time off, or what type time off can be required, but this definitely sounds fishy. And, quite frankly, if you want to take paid time off, you can, unless your company has specific guidelines and rules regarding approval for time off, etc, I would do some reserach and challenge it. Only read half the posts so far, but wanted to respond... FMLA doesn't apply to companies with less than 50 employees. Basically, most companies (of course, depending on state) with less than 50 employees can really set their own policies and procedures as long as it doesn't violate protected status'es (sex, color, creed, religion, etc...)... Now, here's the shade of gray tho and why there is a constant addition of definitions to this section of HR law: What is defined as discrimination within classes? The law is vague about what constitutes color, disabilities, etc... Example: A lawsuit could be filed for discriminiation based on physical traits like hair color. Yes, it's extreme, but seriously--- if a company shows negative treatment toward blondes as a whole, then yes a lawsuit can be filed. But some of it also depends on whether your state is a 'right to work' state. Right to work states really don't have a lot of protection for employees outside of the general discrimination laws. I would say there's probably something that could defined in the medical category. Especially with documentation. Would your doctor provide a written note excusing you for a recuperation period?

Quote: Originally Posted by brecluse omg, that's both so funny and so mean at the same time, but I bet it gets the point across. Yea, you should have seen the look on her face when she realized for the first time that she was going to read the letter to the class. I made her write the letter first before we told her that piece of info. It's hard with teens because they become immune to the same old discipline (grounding, etc...). So we started trying to model natural consequences mixed with creative discipline. Natural consequences: If her grades are low, she has to present a plan to us on how she is going to increase them, as well as defining steps that can be measured to accomplish the overall goal. etc... Creative discipline: If she disrespects a teacher, which elevates her 'status' at school- then the discipline is going to bump her 'coolness' down a notch to her peers.

I can't complain at all. FI is messy, but he doesn't mind cleaning. Seriously, he cleans the bathroom every weekend, including scrubbing the toilet. We have a pretty even split on duties: if I cook, he cleans dishes. If I wash laundry and hang clothes, he folds the whites/socks. I clean kitchen and living area, he cleans bathroom and bedrooms. He maintains the the vehicles, I do the finances. etc... He's a good guy, and he's not gay!

Dear Christa's Stepson, Be thankful you have a reasonable, level-headed stepmother who is doing her best to help you logically, so that you can become a functional adult in a fucked up world. Be even more thankful that you aren't my child because when Audrey fucks up this bad in school, I make her write apology letters to her teachers and stand in front of the class to read them. Signed, Advocate of "Creative Discipline"

One more thought: When you submit your resume to a higher up (CEO/VP/Director level), make it stand out with things like this: * Hand present it, if possible: You've worked hard to get a contact with some pull, so why send the resume with the same method everyone else uses (email, job application). If they are close enough, go to their office and ask for a few minutes of their time to hand deliver. Sometimes they are available, but if they aren't available, then put your resume in an envelope addressed to that person, seal it, and ask to hand deliver it to their 'right hand' person. * Put together a package of information: Your resume, reference letters, examples of work if possible, anything this person would ask for later on. Give it to them up front to make reviewing as easy as possible, taking up less of their time in tracking down what they want/need from you. PACKAGING IS EVERYTHING! Put it in a presentation binder (like a sales proposal). This makes you stand out. If this person has a pile of 100 paper resumes on his desk, think about how easy he can find your resume in that stack if it's in a presentation binder! * If you REALLY want to get into this company---- overnight your resume with a signed receipt. It can be expensive if you do this frequently, so I would only do it for those jobs/companies you are really serious about getting your foot in the door at. When you are job hunting, you have now just become a salesman. You are trying to convince an employer that of the 500-1000 resumes he receives for one job, that YOU are the person he should hire. Think like the hiring manager and try to anticipate his needs from you: What can you show him that makes you exceptional? How can you make the hiring process easier for him? I once applied for a job outside of my industry. This put me at a disadvantage to other candidates who had experience in the industry. The job was to write RFP's to meet government requirements. So to give me an edge, I submitted my resume with a 300 page RFP I had written in the past. This got my foot in the door all the way up to the VP. Another tip: Try to be the LAST person they interview. Reason: In most surveys, business people remember both the first and the last interview they conducted. In the first interview, they may be more easily 'wowed' by a prospect and not ask enough questions because they haven't met the other candidates to compare you to. In the last interview, they have refined their hiring inquiry and know how the other candidates measure up and will ask you all of the questions they need answers to. Example: Interview 1 is asked basic questions about their background. Interview ends. In the next 3 interviews, the candidates might have your experience, plus additional. Do you think the hiring manager is going to go back to you in order to see if you have that additional experience? Nope, he's going to cross you off and go with the one who exceeded you.

I posted this somewhere else on the forum, but since I'm at work, I'm not going to search for it, I'll just repost. First suggestion: * Research on google for companies in your field, in your area. Corporations post on job boards, but a lot of smaller companies don't post their job requisitions anywhere--- they just look for people in their client base or related fields. Which means, lots of opportunities where you wouldn't be competing with hundreds/thousands of other applicants. * Once you find companies in your area, look at their websites for openings (obviously). But if they don't have any positions listed that look like a match for you, don't give up--- CALL THE COMPANY! Ask for the name of the owner & email of the owner if it's a smaller company, of the VP/Director of the department you would work in. GOAL: GET THEM TO CREATE A JOB FOR YOU! Don't let yourself get routed to a recruiter! You want to get to the person who makes the hiring decision, not the recruiter who weeds out the applicant. A hiring manager has the ability to turn over the resume/information to the HR department, if he likes you. Once you have the owner/VP/Director's email address---- send your resume direct to them. Note: This is what I've done for the last 10 years. I have contacted companies who don't have job postings, been told they don't have any openings now or short-term in the future. But because I worked to get to the CEO/VP level for a contact, a job wound up being 'created' for me once they saw my resume. This DOES work! It's how I was offered 3 of the 5 positions I've had in the last 10 years. * Look at related fields: If you're a teacher, but have a hard time getting into a school district--- then look into opportunities to be a trainer at companies. What you've done as a teacher is *very* similar to corporate trainers, and the pay is definitely going to be MUCH better. I worked in technology, as a trainer/programmer/project manager in telecommunications. Which made me a good candidate for IT positions, and computer software positions. * Tap into the vendor relationship: If you worked with specific vendors in your job, let them know you're looking for a new position. Many times they can point you in a direction, make an intro call for you, etc... On my last day of work with the last company I worked for, I notified my vendors of their new contact person. By the end of the day, I had received job offers from 3-4 companies across the nation. * Everyone knows that once you interview, you send a 'thank you' to the employer for their time, effort and consideration. But, how boring is that? Would you remember one of 10 different letters you received as an employer? How about sending something like a 'cookie bouquet' instead? If you are *really* interested in the position, do a more 'unique' thank you--- it puts you light years ahead of the competition!!

Dear FI, Hope you forgive me for ripping your cell phone in half this morning. Please undertand I was delerious from sleep deprivation when the f*ing thing started ringing at 6:00am this morning. And I'm so glad you didn't kill the dog today after being woken up by the neighbors. I'm sure that when they saw our dog break the f*ing window to get outside, they probably thought the two fat people living in the apartment were laying dead from heart attacks inside and the beast was breaking free to get food. Little did they know about our dog's OCD regarding the squirrels running from tree to tree. Oh, and happy birthday. Hope the stereo system I bought for the PC helped ease the loss of your cell phone. Oh well, enjoy the silence on your 6-day vacation. I'll be the one going nuts having to answer all your calls because your family freaks out if you don't call them back within 5 minutes of their calling you.

It is *wonderful* that he's motivated by your wedding so much that he is doing his best to lose weight. And no matter whether he still has to purchase tickets for 2 seats or not, what an amazing accomplishment for him! I will say this tho (speaking as a 'heavy')---- You mentioned he has been in a wheelchair, and is now able to walk a track- Was the wheelchair due to weight-related issues? And what would be a ballpark range for 'ideal weight' medically for him? The reason I ask is because you can have a person who weighs 350, but they are tall and evenly distributed with a larger bone structure. For someone like that, they could lose 100 pounds and would be comfortable on a plane because their medically ideal weight might be 175. Or, you can have someone with a normal body frame and height who weighs 350, and losing 100 pounds might not be enough when it comes to flying on a plane if their medically ideal weight is 125. With that being said, I would say to talk to your dad when you're home for Christmas and get a feel for whether the wedding is the 'heart' of his motivation or whether it's truly for health reasons but looking better for the wedding is a 'plus'... If you feel his motivation truly is focused on the wedding, then I would hold off on saying anything to him about booking a second seat. I would hate to see him lose the motivation to keep working like crazy toward his goal. In my opinion, if your dad has more of a normal body structure/height and was wheelchair bound because of his weight, then I don't think 8 months would be enough time for him to lose weight and only have 1 seat on the plane. If he lost 15 pounds per month (starting with 500 as the start weight), he would be down to 380 at the wedding. And if he has average build/height, he's still going to be uncomfortable in one plane seat.

A tablespoon of olive oil in their food every day helps too. I've heard that dry dog food contributes to the shedding too, but I don't notice a difference in their coat/shedding. I know it helps us when we use a wire-haired brush on Raven and we keep her coat trimmed at about 1/8" to help too. We have mini-Raven's (furballs) all over our place. We've gone thru about 3 vacuums because of her shedding. (Yep, I know I need a Dyson, especially since we plan on having a family of 5 dogs and 0 children).