From her IM conversation with you, it looks as if she really doesn't care about this wedding. From her actions thus far it isn't important to her. This is very sad and unfortunate. My heart goes out to you because it must hurt like a B*^$#!
I like the advice the rest of the girls gave... let your BM know whats going on and ask her to be your honorary MOH. Screw everyone else! Seriously they obviously have more important things than participating in their loved ones wedding. Sorry if hat sounds harsh but these people really need to grow up IMO.
Hang in there, so far you're being really strong. Keep it up. We're here for you