Jules I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I am really frustrated with BM’s right now. Well I only have one, but still. I don’t understand what goes through people’s minds when they agree to be in a wedding and just don’t follow through. I really think you should talk to her and tell her the situation. And if she is not responsive in a positive way then you really need to tell her where you are coming from. Me I wrote mine off, but that is another story!