JulieG

Quote: Originally Posted by erik.wade <Erik takes a left, a right, another left...how is he still able to stand...my god ...the horror...folks it doesn't look good for our contender...he should have stayed playing video games before getting in the ring with this girl> LOL I stand and apologize. I played the devil's advocate with someone who was living in a Hellish nightmare it seems. I apologize and would say that you should probably force your hand a bit with your friend and point out what you did to me. She will either step up and take responsibility or you can eliminate her and tell her that you are simply cutting down the number of BM and GM. Absolutely self induced...completely brought on by my decision to do whatever I need to in order to be there for my friend. I will never deny that, but I will say that there was a part of me that was too proud to talk to him about my own financial hardships until I had no choice. Unfortunately I seem to suffer from a rare disease called "Male Ego" that seems to be benign most of the time, but on occasion, it kicks my butt. My only reason to suggest what i did was to point out that I am a good representation of "what some shouldn't do...but do anyways". Had I learned to pull my enormous melon of a head out of my own backside, I might have realized the crap I was speaking was just that...crap. (Wow...what a colorful way of putting it eh?) All in all, I'll step back and let the girls talk amongst themselves...while I lick my wounds. Although I do still feel that you should confront your friend before it gets to be too late and you end up suffering because she is being selfish. <now for the beating> Do not step back and let the girls talk, we like your input and you did give us the other side of the coin, that we are not familiar with. I just wanted you to know, that she was not going to the extreme efforts you did, she is doing nothing, and that is the difference. I sent her an email because I left her 2 messages and did not hear from her. I just spelled out exactly what it was going to cost, and to let me know if she could do it or not. I was very nice about it. I have decided to just let it happen. I would like to put someone in her place as a BM, but I can't do that till she decides, but if she decides she can't save $400, then so be it. I will be seeing her tonight at a party, I will not mention a thing and just let her bring it up if she wants. I have decided to stop stressing and worrying about it. Come what may.

I would take the table number holders if she still has them, so I hope she signs on. I sent her a message on facebook as well, hopefully she will see it.

Shelley, this is your dream wedding, you said it yourself. You can not give that up for anyone. So you have 2 BM's, what is the big deal with that, you still have 2 great people standing up for you. All that matters is that you and your FH are there and you get the wedding you two are dreaming of. I am pretty positive 1 of my BM's will not be coming, so I know how it feels.

Quote: Originally Posted by Raeka Good job hunni - just make sure you stand your ground with her and be upfront - you need the $400 ASAP. I really hope this all works out for you. The balance is due August 21, so I will give her till that date to pay.

Quote: Originally Posted by akh i THINK everyone has their pashminas, I know Julie's arrived today - so Courtney should have hers too if she doesnt' already. and i've received payment from everyone - so thank you! if we want to do another order ... just let me know! I could use a few more, so if others are ordering, I am in, if I can get them on time. Someone mentioned having Ivory ones and wanting a different colour. I could pay you for the Ivory ones if you want to order more later. Ivory is 1 of my colours.

Quote: Originally Posted by Raeka Hmm I'm kind of late on this one Julie. I do think you're a great friend. Stupid money some days I really wish it grew on trees, so many problems would be solved. I feel really bad for your groomsman.. but I don't know what you can do. I guess bottom line you need to see if your BF is comming FOR SURE. You could always say you need the money ASAP like $200 by the end of next week and $200 by the end of the month... I dont know if you think that;s shady or not but it's kinda giving her an ultimatum. I really feel for you Julie, at least you are able to give someone a free trip that really wants to be there. I hope you at least feel good about that. You are a really sweet an considerate girl I don't want to push her into anything. I am going to have 1 last talk with her, hopefully this weekend and see what she says. If she says she can't come up with the $400, I am going to have to tell her its that or nothing. We can't pay the $400 as well, we just don't have the money. We will pay for half the GM no matter what, we will just save as best as we can. Other than that, we will charge the rest. My FH mentioned taking out a line of credit. We might just have to do it.

Quote: Originally Posted by Nrvsbride Ok no offense Julie but certain people (who shall remain nameless) in your life have been stressing me out all day. LOL. Sheesh! Which one? There are so many to choose from.

I love these pictures, they turned out amazing. I love the one with the guy on the bike who lookes like he does not even notice you guys. They are amazing Leigh. Congratulations Courtney. I can't see any pictures of Elizabeth and Ben's wedding though, am I looking in the wrong spot?

Quote: Originally Posted by tlo Hello! My name is Tania and I"ll be getting married on October 9, 2007 (less than 2 months!) in Puerto Vallarta. I just found this site, so I thought I'd get a few last minute ideas. Wow, that is coming up soon. I hope we can help you with anything you are looking for. There are a lot of awesome girls with awesome ideas on this forum.

Quote: Originally Posted by Nrvsbride Oh if you are giving her the free trip and all she has to come up with is $400 then that is just messed up if she doesn't go. If you let her off the hook and she still insisted then she now has an obligation to do her best to save the $400. Okay since your wedding is in about two months she has to save about $50 a week to have enough. Could she put it on a credit card that has zero interest for x amount of time so that she is guaranteed to go? Why don't you suggest that option to her? And yes Julie you have done all you can. You have been a good friend and offered her the free trip. Now its on her to decide what she wants to do. Yes, all she needs is $400, actually, its not even that much, she paid a deposit of $200 for her and her husband. Her husband is not coming, but my grandmother is taking his place, just in another room (our flight is sold out). So, my grandmother is going to give her the $100 so, she technically has $200 paid already. That means she just needs to come up with another $255 and then $90 for her dress. She will need it altered as well. So, say $400 total to be safe. That is for her trip and her dress, its a pretty sweet deal. If she does not come, she is out $200 deposit and $125 for the dress. So, what makes more sense, saving $455 or losing $325? I am just so stressed about it, I am trying not to worry, but I can't help it.

Quote: Originally Posted by MikkiStreak From what Julie is saying, I'm on her side on this one. The BM is spending money on what she wants and not even making an effort to attend the wedding, while Julie has tried to help her as much as possible so she could attend the wedding. And, in my book, that makes the BM a shithead of a friend... Maria, she really is not a shit head of a friend, she has always been a good friend to me. A little flaky and not so good at saving money yes, but not a shit head, I do not want people to get that impression of her. I just wish she could save something, anything, that will help out a lot cause essentially that is $200 less that FH and I will have to pay when we are already way over our budget. Quote: Originally Posted by Nrvsbride However, I agree with Tammy B that if you already offered the free trip to your friend I don't think you should now tell her that you will only be giving her half a trip. What I would do is have a heart to heart with her and tell her that while you want her there more than anything in the world, if she can't come you completely understand. And furthermore, you should explain to her that while you want her there, if she can't come there is someone that really, really wants to go and you would like to offer the free trip to them. So this way if she doesn't think she will be able to save the money, GM can have the free trip. 3. I have to agree with Erik on some things. Even though you have never put the guilt on her or forced her to come, people will always feel obligated no matter what, especially if she is your best friend. I agree with Erik that she probably just tells you what you want to hear but secretly she is complaining about the cost. I know your upset that she hasn't been saving and it stinks that she promised you that she would make it, but the reality of the matter is that she will make her own decisions as to how she spends her money. If she has "a little extra money" and wants to spend it on food or going out, or shopping or whatever, as much as it hurts, the decision is ultimately up to her. I did have a heart to heart with her, and I told if she could not come, or felt she could not come cause of money reasons I would understand completely. She said she really wanted to be there. She would do her best. I did let her off the hook and she still chose to come and to "try" to save money. This is where I am confused. Glenda and TammyB, I am not taking the free trip option away from her, I told her the whole situation and she said she wanted to come still. So, I said it would help to give half to GM, but she said she had no money, so I said it was her's, you are right, I can not take it away from her, and I will not. The problem is the fact that she still needs to come up with the other $400, we can't pay for that as well, and then half of the GM's trip. I am starting to fear, with only 2 and half months to go, that she will not be coming. I am very sad about it, but what more can I do, I gave her the free trip and we are paying half of GM's trip, so if she can not come up with the $400, then I did the best I could to get her there no?

When I was at Target last weekend, I saw a tatoo cover up make-up kit. It had all this stuff in it and I have heard it works really well. Buy it now, try it out, then you will know if it works for your wedding day.

Alright, I was going to quote but I have too much to say. lol I called her last night, she has been watching a friends kid for extra money, and getting paid well to do it, she tells me at the beginning of the conversation (I did not tell her why I was calling off the bat, I wanted to talk to her first). Trust me Erik when I tell you she is not eating Ramen noodles or hawking her stuff. She is doing NOTHING!! She has no money, not even $100 saved for the trip, and we told her 1 year in advance. She wants to be there, she talks about it all the time, how much she wants to be there. I am not forcing her to be there, I told her right from the get go if she can not afford it, that is okay and not to worry. We told everyone this. A lot of people are not coming cause of the money or the timing and I understand that and am totally okay with that. She went shopping with us and put the downpayment on her dress, she said she was going "not matter what", she is the one who has talked about it to me. I have not heard anything about her maybe not coming till 2 weeks ago. She already ordered her dress, I have already bought her gifts for being my BM, I had 2 other friends that I could totally have picked, and would be happy with, but she wanted to be there and told me that from the start. "No matter what". So, I am not forcing her or pressuring her in ANY WAY. I even offered up the free trip ($1000 is free, $400 she would have to pay herself) and she does not even have that $400, she is assuming we will pay for it all. And not we have a GM who we want there as well who is trying to save and has more legit reasons for not being able to come up with the money. Erik, you do not know my recent history like all the other girls on here. My sister's husband (boyfriend of 15 years) passed away 4 days after their wedding, they had a 1 year old at the time and 2 days later she found out she was pregnant. So, my FH and I moved to a new city so we could be there to help her out, I had no job till just last month because I had a really hard time finding one in the new city. So, FH and I bought a house, moved, and he had to support us both for 5 months all the while we are planning our wedding cause it was all booked back when we had more money. So, when you say I am complaining about $2000, you do not realize that we do not have any extra money, let alone $2000. This is a big deal for us right now. I am doing everything in my power to get her there, and I feel like she is doing nothing, come on not even $100 after 1 years notice, I can't be the only one who thinks that means she is not trying at all. I love her to death, we have been friends forever, and of course I WANT HER THERE, but all along, when all the plans were made and the dress was bought and everything, she told me she was coming no matter what. Her not having any money is a very new issue that I was not expecting.

Quote: Originally Posted by starchild I have a mixer. I'd love to see your recipe, it sounds nice and versatile! I have it at home, I am at work now, so I will PM you with it sometime this weekend, how does that sound? If that is too late (I will not be going home tonight, heading out straight from work), look on line for a Buttercream icing, they should not be hard to find.

I have a great recipie for Buttercream icing, its vanilla, but you can add fruit puree's, or melted chocolate to it to make it whatever you want. I always use the buttercream as my base, unless someone wants a cream cheese icing. Let me know if you are interested. You need a mixer though (I use my kitchen aid), to get it the right consistency, do you have one?

Quote: Originally Posted by TOESNTHESND Thanks Julie! Well with that being said I took last night off for the birth of my new baby niece. She was born yesterday at 5:23pm and was only 6 lbs. I love, love babies!! Hopefully I am next in line. Congratulations, its so much fun being an aunt. We will of course need to see a picture of her

Quote: Originally Posted by TammyB Well did you already tell her you would give her the free trip? Because if you did I don't think you can go back on that now. If you didn't tell her, then I would do the 1/2 for BM and other 1/2 for GM. That way it is fair and if she doesn't find a way to save the money then it's on her, it sounds like she almost expects to be helped out now and if that's the case I'd give it all to the GM Tammy, I did tell her she could have the free trip, but I told her that we do not get one if 42 people do not pay, so to try to save anyway. But, GM just lost his job. I think she will understand that, but I don't think she will come if she has to save the money. She is so bad with money as well, that I bet she has spent like $300 or so since she told me she could not go. This is what bothers me. UGHHHH!! I don't know what to do. Thing is GM would never do that, he is saving all his money. He was the only one working, well, his wife works part time, and is in school part time, and they have 2 kids, and he wants to go and is working hard to save all he can. And my BM who has no kids and her husband works full time, and she is totally capable of getting a part time job in the meantime is not saving.

When I was in upstate NY last weekend, we went to Steve & Barry's, and they had really nice beach bags, kinda mesh, but more woven and they were $3 each, they had awesome colours. I need to buy a lot though, so that was too pricey for me, but they were really nice and if they were $2 I would have bought them for sure.

Quote: Originally Posted by Christine oh that's a tough one, I would talk to her honestly and explain the situation. Also if she paid a deposit you shouldn't have to give her the entire free trip since she paid part of it. We only had to put down $100 for a deposit for our trip, plus insurance. She will get the credit for $100 cause my grandmother is taking her husband's place (but rooming with my aunt), so that is $200 off the trip. She also paid $105 towards her BM dress and owes another $90 when its ready and will need to get it altered cause she is really short.

Please help me figure out what to do. Here is the situation. One of my BM's, a best friend since grade 8 has recently finished university (after a million years in school) and is looking for a job. She booked for my wedding a long time ago, but just with a deposit, the final amount is due August 21. She told me she was coming no matter what. Her husband is from Switzerland and finally got his work visa, so he has a job and is working now. She is not, but is looking. He is paying all the bills. He told me he can no longer come to our wedding but that BM will be there for sure. The day I found out we have enough people to get another free trip (for every 21 guests booked we get a free trip, 21 was our photographer and now we have 51 people coming), she called me crying saying she can't afford to come to the wedding. So, my FH and I offer her this free trip. Well, that weekend we went out, and she wanted to go out for lunch and bought some stuff, and tried to give my sister money for parking. My sister said no, save your money and BM said "I have extra money to spend today". When my sister said this, I was upset. She is a great person and a great friend, do not get me wrong, but that was upsetting to me. I asked her to try to save some of the money, in case everyone does not pay and she said she would try, but did not think she would have any. Well, one of our GM's lost his job. So, we want to split the free trip between the two of them. How do I tell my BM this. Please keep in mind that she has had a year to save. We decided we will just pay half for GM no matter what, but I feel like BM is not trying to save and that upsets me. What would you do if you were me. We can't really afford the extra money to pay for GM, but we want him there, really badly. We want both of them there. I am so stressed about it, I need some feedback on this one.

I saw them on sale at Macy's last weekend. Not sure if they are still on sale, but they were on for a really good price.

These are all great dresses and amazing finds. Good job. I wish I could wear all white and like the way I look. lol I also wish I could just order dresses on line and be able to wear them. I have to try everything on.

Quote: Originally Posted by carlymcmullen Areyou doing individual bags? I was thinking just 1 bag/room. Humpf. I am doing 1 bag per couple and 1 bag per single. So, if 2 girls are in a room, they will share (I got them both flip flops though). But, for the guys, they don't share well, lol, so I am getting them their own bag. Its tough though, I still think if I get cute bags that all the girls should get their own. Its hard to decide.

I would love to see them as well. I have OOT stuff, but no bags yet, I need help. I also need an idea for a bag for the single men.

Quote: Originally Posted by Heidi great!!! I'm glad they worked out for you! You're so luck to have that help ~ my BMs are all out of state except my sister!!! Sorry ladies. I am only using the brown one, just so you know, sorry about all the changes, but it looks much better when printed out then the pink one. I can't wait to get them done and show you. I am so greatful for your help, I could not have done them without you.