okay, I have not read anyone else's posts yet, so sorry if someone already said what I am going to say, but I want to tell you a story.
For my sister's wedding, one of her BM's caused me nothing but added stress. She hated all my idea's for the bachelorette and all the other BM's loved them. So, after stressing about it, I finaly replied to her last email and told her that I had enough. It was not her day it was my sister's day. And, she is my sisters friend and should do the things that makes my sister happy because its her wedding and her day. I also told her that she was being selfish and I was tired of trying to come up with something that she would not say no to. So, I said this is what we are doing and if you don't want to be there, that is your decision but, when you agreed to be a BM, you agreed to do all the things involved and the bachelorette is one of them.
I was harsh, but I am telling you, I had enough of her. My sister agreed with what I said, I asked her first, and actually said it was better if she did not come cause she would be worried about having to entertain her and make sure she was okay. And, she would have made it obvious that she was not happy to be doing it.
So, I say tell your MOH what you want to do most and those who do not want to come, that is up to them. You can't make everyone happy and this day is not about everyone, its about you. So, focus on making yourself happy for once. Your real friends will come and will have a good time because they want you to be happy.
That is just my 2 cents.