oh wow, trisha. this is a tough spot - and while i wish i could tell you some magic words that would make this easier, or tell you what to do - i can't. this is such a personal decision between you and your FI. talk to people - whether that's your doctor, minister, friends, family - whoever can help you make an informed, education decision. there are women on this forum that have gone through just about everything - so also feel free to talk to us. we're here to support you - and help in any way we can! whatever the outcome is - you'll make it through this!