DH has that tone.
My two tips:
1) My DH does most of the housework so when he does that kinda stuff it's usually his way of asking for help. So if he says "we need to do laundry" - that's his way of saying "I do all the work around here please get up and help" so I do it.
2) I tell him that he may not have meant the phrase to come out like it did, but this is how I heard it and this is how that makes me feel. If you make it about you and not him he can't get defensive. And if he did mean it like it came out that is a whole other bunch of problems.