Wow Kim. I absolutely couldn't believe what I was reading. I can't even imagine all these things happening to me on my wedding day. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. No one should have to go through that type of experience, regardless of how much was planned in advance, how many details had already been ironed out- that is just incompetence on the part of the hotel wedding coordinator. That woman should be fired. I hope you take this all the way to the top at the Riu. It is a beautiful resort, but unfortunately their lack of organization and customer service is quite disturbing.
This is in no way a lecture to you, but I just want to remind future brides: You can not be too organized. And yes, despite your organization some things still can go wrong. But- if you have everything as organized and pre-arranged as possible it's much less likely. Save EVERY email, print them out and have them with you. I was able to dispute some charges (although small) that I wouldn't have gotten out of without my email proof. Write down EVERYTHING you want the resort to do for you, email this document and have the WC agree to it ahead of time. Ask specific questions throughout so that you will know she actually read it. I made powerpoint documents of my table layout- showing exactly where each placecard should be, where very votive candle should be, where each centerpiece, etc. I had a 5 page document going over every detail of my wedding (and gave a copy to everyone involved- my mom, MIL, friend, and WC) from the timeline, to the setup of the ceremony, reception- down to how many chairs were on what side of the aisle, on which side of the table, where I wanted the luminarias, etc. I was soooooo extremely anal in my planning, but I think it served me well. Yes, at many resorts you may be able to get away with minimal planning, but I don't think the Riu is one of them. That was a large reason why I decided not to get married there in the first place- I had such a poor first impression of the WC and planning people.