A10CalGal

Quote: Originally Posted by LALA I think it helps when you can embrace and laugh at the parts of sex as a grownup that aren't super cool. For example, when DH and I were in college we could lock ourselves in his room for an entire weekend and never leave. You order food, stay naked the whole time, etc. As grownups that doesn't happen. We have to put up a baby gate to keep the dogs out of our room because our master suite is the 3rd floor and there is no door. And then we have to get up and go to the grocery or we'll have no food for the week. And then there is the laundry. How hot is it to say "should we feed the dogs first?" then put up a gate so you can have sex? It's not - but we've learned to laugh about it. I have the same issues as most women. Going off BC has helped for me, even if it's only a placebo. I hated being on the pill so much that I will find any reason to stay off. I have noticed a change though. Also, sometimes you just have to jump him (even if you don't feel like it.) Once you get started and the...ahem...ball is in your court it all falls into place. If you tell youself you are a super hot badass and keep that in your head when to go at it, you will start to believe it. It may be acting at first, but go with it. YES! OMG, you totally hit the nail on this Kate. We can't close our bedroom door, otherwise the cat freaks out (whether she's in or out). The dog is under the covers. We have a 17 year old that thinks it's cool to just barge in. Yeah...laundry, groceries, etc....we're pretty much screwed, but in a humorous way!

Oh girl!!! I totally know where you are at. It is definitely time to BREATHE and let some of this shit go. You have done a wonderful job on your planning, and this is the point where you kinda have to step back & just let it all unfold. Just try to be brutally honest with your FI about where you are right now - irrational as it may seem. Hopefully by opening up to him you will both find a bit of peace? Hang in there.

Quote: Originally Posted by katrina we haven't felt it too much. we bought a house last year, thank god. if we tried this year there would be no way we'd get a mortgage. they did away with the loan type we got because so many of the people foreclosing had this loan. Let me tell you, it is a fricking BITCH to get a home loan right now! I have near perfect credit (my FICO is 790) and have a great income level. I am being combed over with a fine toothed prickly ass comb right now. The down payment requirements are up for sure, but I was prepared for that. I just can't believe the crap I'm going through as a result of all the irresponsible lending that went bad. Can you say rectal exam? Jeez We're going thru this fun excercise right now where I have to prove, step-by-step, how the money that I paid 4 months ago as our construction down payment came to be. It sucks!

new fridge http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3553.jpg Sink & dishwasher (we don't know what the heck is going on above the sink - probably an electrical oops - will be resolved before we move in) http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3554.jpg Going up the stairs http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3559.jpg Master bath -- we will replace those faucets. Faucets upgrades were WAY overpriced, so we went basic & will change out to rubbed bronze fixtures later. http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3564.jpg

8 days to closing!! Rafael drove out to the house today (while I'm sick in bed). The only things left to do are: landscaping, pour concrete stoops for garage man door & back yard sliding door, a few final plumbing fixes, final cleaning, and ?? Take a peek: Our front entrance: http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...100_3586-1.jpg Finished fireplace http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3571.jpg Wide view of kitchen http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3581.jpg Kitchen detail http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i2...e/100_3552.jpg

Quote: Originally Posted by lambert13 I am really sick and tired of gas prices, food prices and everything else prices going through the roof. I was pumping my $3.50/gal gas the other day remembering how just a few years ago it was around $1.50/gal. Nobody's salary is increasing at that kind of pace. As prices go up our salaries are not catching up. We are effectively losing money because of rampant inflation right now. AMEN! That is what worries me most these days too. The gas thing is really hard to take. My little Mustang used to fill up for $25 max. Today if I fill er up all the way, it's $60. I don't even want to talk about my husband's Expedition...

I agree with the straight forward honest approach. We tend to make ourselves feel guilty in these situations because we think we are letting someone down. It might help you if you flip it around & think of it as a fantastic opportunity for you & your husband to move forward in life...remember this is YOUR life after all! Any good employer will be sorry to see you go, but thrilled that good things are happening for you

How exciting!!! Congrats! Definitely tell hubby tonight. I really like Yari's idea.

The economic climate has made me very nervous about big decisions we've made in the last 6 months! Relocating to a new state & building a new home made excellent sense when we made the decisions 6+ months ago. Now at one week from closing, I am constantly reviewing our budget, forcasting our cash flow & some what second guessing our decisions. It's just a bit scary seeing the cost of daily expenses like gas and food going thru the roof. I am consciously limiting my non-work driving and making different decisions about entertainment and food expenses.

Quote: Originally Posted by carly Christa - the power struggle thing is so true for me too! I have good intentions alot of times, then he calls me to tell me he is going to a friends house or to the bar after work and then I am all salty. And then exactly what you said happens! He complains and I say, well if you had come home yesterday.... Aren't we just a couple of handfuls! I guess it's a good start to admit this stuff. I'm at the point where I'm trying to let a lot of this crap go & create positive intentions/situations. But check this out...we had the house to ourselves this weekend - great opportunity right? I go and get deathly ill. I've been in bed for 3 days straight - and not in the sexy kinda way. FRICK!

Damn, thanks for posting this. I spend A LOT of time feeling guilty about this. I used to be very sexually charged...and now I am like a freaking nun. It's weird. I know for me there are a million different layers: health issues over the past 2 years (involving stress, anxiety, thyroid issues), multiple major life changes in a short period of time, going from being single & independant to married with step children, etc, etc. But I think the biggest thing is that once we got into a rut it became a pattern and a power struggle. Like when I come home thinking "ok, this is it, tonight we're doing it" and something gets in the way on his end & it doesn't happen...then the next day he starts a fight with me about why we don't have sex! And then I get pissed & don't want to just give it up because he threw a fit, especially since I had great intentions the day before. Whew! Then the cycle continues. I think there is def a lot to be said for psyching yourself out a bit. If I spend some time focusing on sexy thoughts, then I can feel the drive revving up. But I forget to do this. It seems like life just gets so complicated for us. Women see things in mulit-dimensional layers & we think about it all - all the time! Men are so linear & "single minded" - it's hard for them to appreciate how our brains are constantly on over load.

Oh Heidi, have the most amazing time ever! Savor every moment, even the stressy ones Much love to you & Reggie on your day!

I hate to burst your bubbles here ladies, but there are a lot of products we use every day that come from animals & are a result of processes you may not want to know about. Specialty adhesives, pet food, beauty products, soap, plastics, clothing...

I love all of your stuff Heidi - you've put so much effort into all of this. It's crazy thinking back on the last several months - you guys have been thru so many things...I bet it feels good to have this moment rapidly approaching. Thank you for sharing your vows & readings...they brought a tear to my eye & reminded me of the promises we made on our wedding day (sometimes need a little reminder!)

That is so cool Martha!! I bet that helps alay some of your fears. And I absolutely love the halo effect - your baby is absolutely an angel

Very nice!! I love all of the outfits you chose...from fun to classy.

Totally normal! All part of the fun roller coaster ride. It's pretty much out of your hands at this point. You get to sit back & watch all of your careful and meticulous planning come together. It's fricking insane though, right? How did it get here so fast? Do I really want to get married? What if I suck at marriage? What if I trip going down the aisle? What if nobody shows up? WHat if....you get the idea. It's all normal. Just absorb it as part of the marriage experience.

THat is priceless!

Quote: Originally Posted by MikkiStreak hell yes Mel!!!! Liquid lunches kick ass. I actually miss working for companies that allow "beer-thirty" on Fridays. (At 3:30, we'd go get a couple cases of beer and head back to the office and drink thru the rest of our workday) and, yep, I was having an extremely shitty day... until Miss Christa decided to keep my company via IM. And let me tell you--- I haven't done SHIT today, but I could give a crap less because my mood is so much better now. She just likes me because I'm high on Nyquil right now...

Wow, that's right, she's dealing with a home purchase too! That is craziness. Where are you Heidi??

Quote: Originally Posted by jean-marcus dont think your meet up will be as funy and crazy as the seattle area meet up we had last night hahaha J-M you are such a trouble maker! But you're totally right - we pretty much rocked the kazbah.

Quote: Originally Posted by Lilpaisley No, we have a small zoo at home. One dog, 2 cats, and 2 Praying Mantis. We also have a small army of crickets...but that is just to feed the mantis. I can't tell you how strange it is to hear crickets in your house when it's snowing outside. You think its summer for about 1 second. Christa, I'll ask Joel about the lawn mower tonight when he gets home from work. It's been sitting in our garage a while and might need a tune-up or something to get it running again. Here's a little cuteness overload for you all. This is Cleo and Eros. They are best buds and allways together. Oh my gosh, that is the sweetest picture ever!! I wish my cat & dog would love eachother like that. They spoon occasionally with the cat on top of the covers & the dog under the covers - so they act like they don't know it's happening. Dorks! If the lawn mower thing works out, cool, if not no worries! Quote: Originally Posted by jean-marcus atlanta meet up is thinking they can be bettter then ours... i say they have no idea what they are up against.. Oh hell no! People have no idea....no idea how rad we all are. I think we totally should have a Zoolander style walk off!

I think you are probably being harder on yourself than necessary, but I totally understand. Also, I am very glad to know that other people partake in a liquid lunch once in a while...I thought that was just my own dirty little secret!

Yep, Heidi has put together all of her planning stuff in her blog...

Quote: Originally Posted by DougsGirl AH! Kris I'm sorry! I totally missd part of that conversation, I thought you said all you had was the leggy-bugs! Dog parks RULE! Hahaha!!! I totally missed that you have a dog too, Kris! I totally remember the discussion about your two praying mantis' that you are trying to breed...oh, and that you have a lawn mower you might need us to take off your hands. My hubby was super stoked to hear that news. Man, we had such diverse conversations...I hope nobody decides to blackmail me now!