Hi Jessica,
yes they can be lax but they usually cover everything at the meeting.
I would send yessica an email stating:
1. what time to meet?
2. what you would like to discuss?
3. if you want to do a tasting, what items?
4. any extras that you are considering ie: firedancers, poker night
5. give pics of anything special you want ie flowers, decor, etc.
some people plan their weddings w/o a site visit and things turn out great.