WTH? Our AHR is not just some "party"!!!

[deannamarie85]

I am getting so frustrated and hurt by all of our AHR response cards. My family could not afford a DW so my fiance and I are going away just the two  of us, then when we return we are having a formal AHR. We are going all out since this is what the parent's wanted...photographer, videographer, catering,live music,etc. We sent out save-the-dates over six months ago and formal invitations two months ago. Now that we are getting the r.s.v.p. cards back, there are so many "no" responses from close family members like aunts,cousins,etc! There have even been a few cards where people have written things like "have fun at your party" or "sorry i can't come to your little party" WTH??? Am I just looking at this situation wrong?

[mochamakes3]

Deanna,

 

Sorry to hear that you are getting that response. My parents also wanted the big wedding, so we said we would have a reception a few months after. They were then surprised when we said we were looking at reception halls. Apparently, they thought we were having it at their house?

 

Sometimes, families don't understand the whole DW process. We didn't get back RSVPs from 80% of the people! I really hope you end up with a celebration that you and your husband enjoy.

[MyGirlTuesday]

That would hurt me too! The whole reason we're planning an AHR is for the family and friends that can't attend a DW!! ...we haven't put deposits down for the AHR and now I'm rethinking...maybe a backyard BBQ would be better than a more formal setting if fam/friends don't care. Any other brides having this issue??

[jamieirene]

That is awful!!! Do you have a wedding websites? Maybe you could post details to help them realize this is not just "some little party" I think familys have a hard.time understanding the whole de concept. We have been lucky our familys are.onboard and supporting us....but I know my friend who was just married in Mexico got a.lot of deal from her family and a similar response about her ahr we went and she ended up forgetting about people rude responses and we had a great.time!

[deannamarie85]

 

 

Originally Posted by mochamakes3 

 

Deanna,

 

Sorry to hear that you are getting that response. My parents also wanted the big wedding, so we said we would have a reception a few months after. They were then surprised when we said we were looking at reception halls. Apparently, they thought we were having it at their house?

 

Sometimes, families don't understand the whole DW process. We didn't get back RSVPs from 80% of the people! I really hope you end up with a celebration that you and your husband enjoy.

 

Geez...80% of them didn't write back to you? I guess i shouldn't be complaining that about 60% of ours haven't come back yet!

 

[deannamarie85]

 

Originally Posted by jamieirene 

That is awful!!! Do you have a wedding websites? Maybe you could post details to help them realize this is not just "some little party" I think familys have a hard.time understanding the whole de concept. We have been lucky our familys are.onboard and supporting us....but I know my friend who was just married in Mexico got a.lot of deal from her family and a similar response about her ahr we went and she ended up forgetting about people rude responses and we had a great.time!

No, no website. Unfortunately, it was one of those things i never got around to. I know that you are right, no matter what I will have a great time, but it would still be nice to have your family there to celebrate! Maybe I should think bout finding another creative way to spread the word that this is a full-on reception?

[aaronlori]

That's honestly the reason I don't want the AHR. I know what the response will be from alot of people, both family and friends. Like your "no" people they are thinking why should they go to the AHR when we chose to get married down south and they couldn't go. My father wants an AHR and that is the only reason we are having one. My family wanted the big traditional wedding and until three weeks ago we have everything planned for a big traditional Catholic wedding on July 30, but we couldn't do it, our hearts weren't in it so we called it off. There are some family members who are happy for us, and there are others who are mad about our decision and are talking about us as if having the wedding we want is somehow affecting them personally.

[jamieirene]

Yeah I would try and come up wit another creative way to spread the word! If I think of something i'll let you know! And aaronlori it's so sad how selfish people can be sometimes especially your own family! I just look at it like 10 years down the road what will you remember the selfishness of others or the amazingly beautiful wedding you had....then 20 year then 30 and so on for me and my fi. We are.making it all.about us because that's how it should be we no longer care about others selfishness! Enjoy your dw. And don't let.others bother you!

[deannamarie85]

Thanks for the replies ladies! I am going to try to not let it bother me. Plus, the RSVP date is April 15th, so maybe i will get the final 50 back with yes's!

[aaronlori]

You are absolutely right! When we look back in 20 years time we will remember that we had the wedding of our dreams with 50 of our closest family and friends

 

Thanks Jamieirene!
 

Originally Posted by jamieirene 

Yeah I would try and come up wit another creative way to spread the word! If I think of something i'll let you know! And aaronlori it's so sad how selfish people can be sometimes especially your own family! I just look at it like 10 years down the road what will you remember the selfishness of others or the amazingly beautiful wedding you had....then 20 year then 30 and so on for me and my fi. We are.making it all.about us because that's how it should be we no longer care about others selfishness! Enjoy your dw. And don't let.others bother you!