did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

[PurpleUnicorn]

hey everyone,

 

we invited tons of friends and both our small families. i was anticipating/hoping for around 30 people to attend including myself and FI.  this was partly based off all the friends i had telling me they really wanted to come.

 

now we are less than 3 months out and FIs family is likely not coming (like any of them!).  and most of my friends that were so hyped up still haven't booked or contacted me or anything! and my travel agent sent a reminder email to them after the new year..... so its looking pretty dreary.  we have currently 11 people booked including me and my FI.  i know for sure 3 others are going to book, and i am keeping my fingers cross that it works out with FIs parents.  so that will bring us to 16! (14 if no FI parents).... still half of what i was hoping.

 

i can't help feeling bummed about this and wondering if it was a bad idea to have a DW...but getting married on the beach was my DREAM!

 

anyone else in or was in this situation?  how are you coping or how did it turn out?

[AfricanVenus]

I'm in a bit of the same thing. I wanted a small wedding, but the few people I expected can't show on one level or another. It is a bummer, but whoever's supposed to be there will be there. If it's your dream, that's what matters.

[vlynnw]

I'm in this exact situation.  We originally just wanted it small but then everyone complained because they wanted to go, so we decided fine we'll go ahead and invite everyone and figured we would have between 40-50 people.  Well with 3 more months to go I have 15 people including FI and I are not all of them are booked...but I know they are coming because they are immediate family and have at least been conversing with the TA but sadly we may only have 14 when all is said and done because one of our guests who has been really excited to go and was actually the first person to book just found out she has cancer in her leg.

[acireta]

Smaller weddings can be so beautiful and intimate! You will still come home married after the trip of a lifetime, and think about how much more quality time you'll get to spend with the special people who made it down there with you! And everyone else will be super jealous of your pics and experiences!

 

Plus, you can spend more on each OOT bag since you only have a few to make! Just kidding on that one, but it might be a plus for you, I dunno.

 

We had a TON of people who said "I wanna go, I wanna go. I'll book right away." The only bookings are my mom, my two bridesmaids and our best man and his wife. So I'll believe it when I see it. These very special people who already booked will be there, everyone else is just icing on the cake.

[~Nicole~]

This was my situation exactly.  The usual - everyone is all on board and they will 100% be there.  I had even put deposits down for ppl and they ended up bailing.  It ended up being 9 of us in total, and that included a 6 month old baby lol.  The only family that ended up coming were my brother and sister.  My mom, who I'm very close with, or was very close with, didn't come which I thought would bother me.  I know that I can't take away any of the emotions that you're going through because I think those are inevitable, but let me assure you that your wedding will be amazing.  I had some important ppl not come, and to be perfectly honest, I didn't miss them one bit.  Sorry Mom, but I didn't think of you all day!!  And that's completely true.  We all get so caught up in trying to PLAN the perfect day.  But truth be told, its the purpose of the day that makes it so special and perfect.  After going through the roller coaster of emotions through my planning process, I wouldn't change the fact that I did a DW.  The only thing I would do differently is to not worry about all those things that I lost sleep over and cried about.  So you're not alone!  I wish you the best wedding day ever!

[PurpleUnicorn]

 

 

Originally Posted by ~Nicole~ 

 

This was my situation exactly.  The usual - everyone is all on board and they will 100% be there.  I had even put deposits down for ppl and they ended up bailing.  It ended up being 9 of us in total, and that included a 6 month old baby lol.  The only family that ended up coming were my brother and sister.  My mom, who I'm very close with, or was very close with, didn't come which I thought would bother me.  I know that I can't take away any of the emotions that you're going through because I think those are inevitable, but let me assure you that your wedding will be amazing.  I had some important ppl not come, and to be perfectly honest, I didn't miss them one bit.  Sorry Mom, but I didn't think of you all day!!  And that's completely true.  We all get so caught up in trying to PLAN the perfect day.  But truth be told, its the purpose of the day that makes it so special and perfect.  After going through the roller coaster of emotions through my planning process, I wouldn't change the fact that I did a DW.  The only thing I would do differently is to not worry about all those things that I lost sleep over and cried about.  So you're not alone!  I wish you the best wedding day ever!

 

thank you Nicole, this has already helped a lot seeing what other people i have to say.  And i keep telling myself in my logical voice that all that matters is that i get to marry FI.  and i know its true and i know that ON the day, i will be blissfully happy.  but also knowing all these things doesn;t stop from feeling disappointed and frustrated at times.  

[Debs]

We had 11 people including us!! You know, I was really dissapointed at first, but in the end I wouldn't change it for anything. I was able to spend lots of time with each of our guests -- a few friends and my IL's. My parents coudn't make it because my mom had to have surgery a week before we left.

 

I was at my SIL's wedding last April in the Dominican. She had over 60 people come, and she was SO stressed the entire week about spending time with everyone, she barely enjoyed her week, and it turned out super expensive because she had to pay extra for the reception.

 

Our reception was a blocked off part of one of the regular resteraunts, nothing super special, we had a bunch of stuff thrown in for free because there were so few of us (trio, chair covers etc).

[acireta]

You're allowed to be frustrated and disappointed! Just don't let it ruin anything for you. You deserve a happy day!

[PurpleUnicorn]

 

 

Originally Posted by acireta 

 

Plus, you can spend more on each OOT bag since you only have a few to make! Just kidding on that one, but it might be a plus for you, I dunno.

 

 

 

LOL, i would say this is a bonus, but i already bought 20 welcome bags at $8 each! i ordered mini canvas tote bags from The Knot when they were on sale (with "Jamaica" embroidered on them). and i bought 20 decks of cards to put in them, personalized with "Montego Bay Jamaica", and i bought 20 personalized post cards to write my welcome notes!  i bought 20 of everything anticipating we might even go over the 30 people i was expecting and i didn't want to pay shipping fees again for this stuff or not get them when they were on sale!

 

anyway, so some of that money will be lost. i was going to do one welcome bag per room, but perhaps some people will get 2 per room - one for them and their guest/date that they bring along, LOL.  how nice am i to do that?!

 

although i am strapped for cash and trying to cut costs, so one consolation was that i could still afford a private reception if i am paying for only 15 meals and not 30 - the cost will essentially be cut in half!

[CanadianLindsey]

I agree with the other girls. We had a small wedding and I wouldn't change it  for the world!  My mom was just saying the other day how nice it is to now actually know some of our friends after spending the week together.  It really made the wedding day that much more intimate and fun too, since everyone was comfortable with one another and no one held back any dance moves!!  One of my most cherished memories was looking out at our guests during our ceremony and seeing the tears and emotion on everyone's faces, knowing how much they all truly knew and cared for us.  That's not something you feel with big weddings. So embrace your situation and enjoy all of your wedding, even the planning!!