Prenuptial Agreement?

[Tiffanya21]

Is anyone signing a prenuptial agreement? Know anything about it?

[clgriffi7]

I am not sure how I feel about prenuptial agreements.  On the one hand it can be an intellectually smart move, but on the other hand it seems terribly unromantic and almost implies an assumption of things not working out.

 

I have not thought of a prenuptial agreement for my marriage because my finace and I are at roughly equivalent financial situations, so it would not be terribly beneficial.

 

For other brides out there, I wouldn't risk the bad feelings/resentment of a prenuptial agreement unless you have significantly different assets that you are bringing to the marriage.

 

[magikstarrynite7]

I will be doing a prenup. I love my fiance and all, but my dad has a very large asset at stake and he just doesn't feel comfortable me marrying ANYONE (even if they are super rich) without it...you just never know. If you find out details that would be appreciated! I'm not that far yet being as my wedding is going to be in 2012

[june11bride]

I will not be doing one...everything we have we have pretty much obtained while being together. He was the first one I lived with, and we have gone through university together, so anything we have now, we both earned together. No one goes into a marriage expecting it to end, but I can see the importance of protecting yourself no matter what. I know people who have suffered because of not protecting themselves. I just happened to not have great reason to.

[Tiffanya21]

See if it were up to us, we probably wouldn't even be thinking about this. We both make about the same amount of money, and all our assets were obtained while we were together. However, its my fiance's dad that is pushing the subject. He is the owner of a family business that has been passed down 3 generations. His intention is to pass it down to my fiance once he retires. I completely understand his wanting to protect his business. But like you ladies said, I am torn. It is not romantic at all and is just depressing to think about. Also, I am not the kind of person to drain someone else of the things they worked for. To think they slightly think that of me is offensive. Am I digging too much into it?

 

Our plan is that when we have children, I am going to be a stay at home mom for a few years. Maybe work from home, but not sure yet. I am scared that if I sign a prenup, I will be in deep trouble IF something were to happen. I don't want to be a single mother with no job and no husband or support!

 

BUT on the other hand, I truely believe that the fiance and I can get through anything together. Since I do feel that way, why not just sign it and forget about it. Is that niave?

[clgriffi7]

Tiffanya21 - if your fiance's father is pushing a prenup then I think it worth signing to keep the peace (so they don't think you are just after money).  BUT if your fiance is protecting himself then you need to make sure you are protecting yourself in the agreement as well.  Especially if you are going to be a stay at home mother for a while. 

 

Obviously you will want to have your own legal representation in the matter to assure the legal wording is what you and your fiance have agreeed upon.  I think it is a legit concern that the FIL would want ownership of the company to remain with his son, BUT that should not preclude spousal support and especially child support (especially if you are out of work taking care of the kids).  Without a prenup, the courts would award you spousal and child support so make sure those items are not prohibited in the prenup.

[Tiffanya21]

Thanks for your input. I think your right. I definitely will need to make sure I am protected, and have my own representation, but I will sign to keep the peace. I feel better and not so offended now that I have talked/typed it out.

[magikstarrynite7]

 

Originally Posted by Tiffanya21 

See if it were up to us, we probably wouldn't even be thinking about this. We both make about the same amount of money, and all our assets were obtained while we were together. However, its my fiance's dad that is pushing the subject.

Sounds exactly like my situation tiffany! Only it's my dad pushing the issue

[autjo]

This is such an important topic that no one really wants to talk about. Don't be offended by your FIL... he is doing it for business not as a personal attack. And I totally agree to definitely make sure that the pre-nup protects you and your interests if something bad were to happen. Good luck with it!

[Michelle-2]

I was wondering the same thing here.  This is my second marriage.  My daughter and I live in a brand new house - that my parents bought for me, but it is in their name.  They want to eventually sign the house over to me.  I know we don't go into a marriage thinking it is ever going to end in a divorce, but reality is, you need to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  I never prepared for the worst the first time around.  I went into that marriage thinking FOREVER... 14 years later I left with my daughter, our clothes and a mattress.  That's it!!!  My parents went above and beyond setting me up in a great neighborhood with a beautiful new house.  I don't ever want to take a chance and have this put on the line.  My FI knows everything I have been through and totally understands all my fears and is more than willing to do whatever it takes to ease my mind.  I hate to say it, but I am going to have some type of agreement that will ensure this house is mine and my daughter's should anything ever happen down the line.

 

While your FI wants to protect his family assets, make sure you are protected also.