Should STD announce AHR?

Hi Ladies,

Here's my dilemma. A lot of my family and FI family are complaining that a trip to Mexico for our wedding will be too much. Although, we do have some family that is willing to come to the ceremony despite the out of pocket expense they'll incur. I want to make this as comfortable for everyone as possible, so I was thinking if I should include our intention to have an AHR on the STD. That way people can decide to skip out on Mexico and attend the AHR instead, which will be much cheaper for them. At the same time I am scared to do this because I still want people at my ceremony, what if everyone just decides to go to the AHR instead?

Should I just send the STD without the AHR announcement and send that at a later time (4 months before wedding date), or send the STD with AHR details?

I am just really afraid that if I don't send AHR info on the STD, family will complain, "Well, why did you make me pay for the trip when I could just see you when you return?! I could've saved so much money! Why didn't you mention an AHR when you sent STD?!"

Has anyone gone through this? What did you do?

I haven't gone through it yet, but have been wondering how I would handle the dilema. I think I would probably include the fact that you're having AHR with details to come. That way your guests have all the options.

I think your STDs can include information about both (even if it's as simple as "details to follow"). Although it gives people an "easy out" I don't think it'll deter any of the people who were really planning to go in the first place.

Our STD had both...the last two lines said "Home Reception - February 6, 2010" and then Details at Sandra & Mario - January 8, 2010

It's great to have a website where everyone can visit and keep themselves updated. And to not exclude anyone, it's important to share all information at once. People may change their mind last minute about going to Mexico...what if you didn't invite them to begin with? That's not nice, lol. Good luck!

I made a boarding pass STD and one of the tickets was about the AHR. I think its important to announce it at the same time so people have all the necessary info when making their decision. Just my 2 cents

That's a tough one! I totally see your point. My FI and I are planning a JOP and intentionally did not tell anyone because we don't consider it our "real" wedding and don't want people to show up at the court house and not come to the wedding.

I respect the other girls about announcing it on the STD, but I personally wouldnt. I would see how many people are planning to come to Mexico, and announce later that you're having a AHR because a lot of people couldn't afford it due to the economy and you didn't want them to feel obligated....that way it doesnt make it sound like you're hiding it from anyone, but simply that you did it as an added convenience for people after you started getting responses to the STD's. I hope that makes sense!

I struggled with this question too. I ended up deciding that the save the date was for saving our wedding date, though I think it's fine to mention it as the girls above did. We sent out save the dates with only our wedding in Mexico info and the STD referred people to our website for more info. On the website we stated that we were having a "soiree" after our wedding for those who could not attend (as well as those who wanted to go with both). No one would book wihtout going to website for more info, so there was no danger of people booking without knowing all info.

I also was not worried about people choosing to go to home party over Mexico - I think if they choose at home party over going away, they could not be counted on to go regardless.

I was thinking lastnight before going to bed that I should mention my wedding website on the STD. That way when they visit they will find more info on details as well as the AHR, just like you said mich999. Thanks guys for all your help! I hope I don't run into any more problems, planning a wedding is already stressful enough!

We did our invitations as boarding passes as well, We had the front page as our main ticket with details of the destination wedding week and then put info about the AHR underneath, there was a tear away strip for people to send back to us that said passengers names and whether they will be accompanying us to mexico or whether they will be attending our AHR or both. The next page was our AHR info and the third was our mexico info, they turned out great. I havent noticed any fewer people coming to mexico because we are doing an AHR, I think alot of people want a reason to go on vacation and a wedding is perfect. And to do it all together saves on alot of work

We mentioned the AHR in a single line on the STD. But, I understand your concern about people using it as an "easy out" to skip the wedding. The same thing has occurred to us - whether or not it is true. But, I also agree with the others that if the people can really be counted on to be there - they will be there. Those who use it as an easy out of attending the DW probably cannot be counted on to attend the DW.