JUNE 2009 BRIDES post

You ladies are way ahead of the game than I am. I have some questions for you girls:

Are any of you having a wedding shower or couples shower? I feel like it's too much to ask with everyone spending the money on flying out to Mexico...so I'm thinking about cancelling. Thoughts?

What are your bridesmaids assisting you with? I don't want to ask them to help me with the OOT bags, becuase I want that to be part of the surprise for them....but I need to include them on activities...I think - thoughts?

Are any of you receiving any negative feelings from the future in laws for having a destination wedding? My FI parents have been extremly negative, as they have never travelled out of the country...and they live in a small town and are very closed minded...his brother and sister-in-law are also freaking out, and no matter what I say they are just ugly about everything. I need some advice on how to deal with this.

I must seem like a complete freak with all of these questions, but our date is right around the corner and emotions are hitting me hard and fast. Any advice or suggestions are welcome.

Muchos Gracias!

AprilandPatrick,

I am having a bridal shower on may 2nd. Everyone is actually super excited about it. Although I don't know if my future in laws will be attending. They haven't been very involved. I don't think they are spending alot of money or anything for it. It can be as formal or informal as you like. I'm not really involved in it though so I'm not sure what they have planned.

My bridesmaids haven't really helped me with much yet. I will be asking them to help with OOT bags if I decide to have them and I will be having everyone bring stuff with them when they come to Jamaica just to cut down on all the luggage for me. If you need your bridesmaids to help you with stuff, I would ask them. I'm sure they would've mind. My bridesmaid always ask if I need help with stuff. I just haven't needed it thus far.

As far as the inlaws go...that's a completely different story. We have gotten nothing but negativity from his family about our decision to get married in Jamaica. They have no qualms about letting us know that they wish we were getting married here in Ohio since that is where the majority of family is. His aunt even went so far during Christmas to let us know how inconsiderate we are being by getting married in Jamaica. We got questions like "why can't you guys just have your honeymoon in Jamaica?" We just informed everyone that we want to get married in Jamaica so that is what we're doing. Our decision wasn't meant to hurt or purposely exclude anyone but at the end of the day we have to do what WE want since this is OUR wedding. I don't think they understand but it will be recorded and we are having a AHR so that will have to suffice. We even found out just LAST NIGHT that his mom has decided that she will not be attending because she is afraid to fly. Nevermind the fact that she has flown once before...I could go on and on. So, don't feel that you are alone in the battle with negative inlaws because you are not.

Oh and its only going to be 29 of us. We are having our reception at a restaurant and doing the first dance, speeches, and he's taking the garter off of me. That's about it. He's supposed to be putting some music on an ipod and we are going to listen to it that way.

To be honest, I don't comment back when I hear comments like that. I mean me and my FI both know why we are doing this and if they can't understand that then I don't feel like I need to further explain my decision. In the beginning I found myself becoming resentful towards them because it was clear that they weren't even attempting to make the trip but now my attitude is oh well its going to be their lose. I am very upset with my FI's mom because he is an only child and she doesn't even understand how much this is hurting him by her not coming. Especially when the main reason we decided to have a DW is because his mom and mom ASSURED us they would be there. I really would try your hardest to not let it get to you. I know its easier said than done because its concerning the people we care about.

Haha, it is a contest who's inlaws are the most negative? I bet we are in the running lol... Out of the 70 people attending, only two people are upset about the wedding being in Riviera Maya... guess who? FI's dad and stepmom... we are inconveniencing them by making them spend $2000 in total to attend our wedding... we are "putting them out"... FI was not even notified that his father had gotten remarried until three months after it had occured. And not once was there an offer to help out with any part of the wedding, engagement party, anything...but, this is what WE want, and the other 68 guests are really excited to attend!!!

Not that I wish trouble on anyone BUT I am glad to hear that I am not the only one dealing with this. My dad and stepmom still haven't booked their tickets for Mexico and are saying they can't help us out more because it is so expensive to travel down to Mexico- nevermind they have tons of miles and would fly for FREE!

Anyway, enough about that. I am having a couples shower locally and a bridal shower in FI's hometown in the midwest. I feel like if people want to throw a shower, just go and be happy they want to be involved. FI's aunt is hosting the bridal shower and she isn't able to go to the wedding so she is happy to be able to do this for us.

Isn't the point of the DW to have less stress? Let's remind ourselves that we wanted a fun get away with our friends and family. That's why we are doing this. Think of how much more stressed we would be if we had to do EVERYTHING at home!?!

It's coming up!!

The point of a DW.... less stress!!!! That is pretty funny! I thought that at first too. Once we got into the heart of the planning and talked to family and friends, my stress level went through the roof! I have been having issues on both sides of the family about having a DW. Both of our families are very conservative and traditional, but we are not! I have not been paying much attention to the negative comments out there. But if they actually approach me and ask why we are having a DW, I have no problem explaining that this is OUR wedding and this is what WE wanted. For the most part everyone is supporting the DW, but you can always feel the tension when we are talking about it.

My sister and FI's sister-in-law are having a bridal shower for me. It is kind of funny b/c we are having it at my house. It made more sense b/c I live an hour north of FI's family and 1 hour south of my family. We decided it would be easier to meet in the middle. I feel a little weird to be having it at my house.

My sister is my only bridesmaid. I have been having her help with invitations, and some of the OOT bags. I am planning on getting her something different as a gift. Still need to find that though, I am falling a little behind on my timeline I need to kick it into gear.... 2 months!

Hello June Brides,

When are you sending out your wedding invitations? We just got our invitations and have them all ready to be put in the mail. I was just wondering how far in advance other brides were sending them out. My wedding is June 25th. I feel like it may be to early?

Thanks!

Hi Jennifer, We sent ours out in March because the payment deadline is in 2 weeks. We wanted people to have plenty of time to reserve and work with their finances.