Question for the married DWers........

We have 40+ guests coming down and I'm starting to stress about keeping them all happy and meeting their expectations, if any.

How did you brides of past handle all the guests for the days leading up to the wedding? Did you stress about pleasing them all? Did you make time to visit every group if they weren't sitting together? Am I over reacting LOL

I'm worried that there will be groups of people spread out all over i.e pool people and beach people and that we won't be able to please everybody during the day. Is this a reasonable anxiety?

Thanks!!

I told everyone where we would be at, and if they wanted to join in with us, they were more then welcome to, but I didn't go out of my way to entertain them. The way I looked at it, I was there getting married, and I refused to be the host the entire time, I just wanted to relax and have fun.

We just went with the flow when we got to Mexico. We were pretty busy running around the first two days with the wedding coordinator, but were able to spend time at the pool and the beach. We would usually run into people walking through the hotel and make plans to meet up at the bar, or see people at the breakfast buffet and let them know if we would be by the pool or beach. We usually stuck to the same spot so everyone knew where people were if they wanted to hang with the group or do their own thing.

People should be able to entertain themselves... afterall they're on vacation too. If I were a guest at a DW, I wouldnt expect the couple to keep me entertained all week. Beach and a bar is all I need.

k guys thanks.

Sloan....I think its a little more than just expecting people to entertain themselves, well it is in my case anyways. For example, I got a phone call last week from a friend I play softball with asking who else is going. No one else from that team is going and he's the shy type. He's not the kind of guy to walk up to strangers on the beach and sit with them even if he knows they're with us. But he's booked his trip regardless for us. That's when it really hit me, I can't just say "entertain yourselves". There are people that are going to be there that are there just for us. I have to make sure they're happy and having a good time. I think it is our responsibility to a point to play host to people that are coming down just for us. Especially if they're coming down solo and the shy type. :S

Am I trying to hard to please everybody? Should I really just let them be? ARGHHH

Our group was very small. If it had been bigger, I probably would have had a big event before the wedding.

The way it worked for us was that a lot of the people were at different resorts too, so it was very difficult to see them.

Before we left we arranged a few things. We said that on one day we'd be at a certain restaurant for lunch and whoever wanted to join, was welcome. One couple came by earlier that day to see us and joined us, and Dh's parents, but no one else came.

Wednesday we said we'd be doing a day trip to Xcaret. My sister came with us from our hotel and we were supposed to meet another couple, but that didn't happen. No one else came. Everyone did their own thing.

I was frustrated that people didn't show for the thigns we'd planned, but I guess they all had their own things going on and as long as they were happy, I'm happy.

2 of my best friends who came (my only best friends who came) didn't come to anything. They didn't even come to the early day of the wedding to where we were all getting ready (my sisters were my bm's). I was stunned. But it was their holiday and they did their own thing.

So I guess by all means, plan one or two things, but don't exhaust yourself worrying. Plan ahead and if you need to, introduce them to others they may like, but ultimately they can do their own thing.

Good luck!

Kevsgirl - that sucks that your best friends didn't even show up for when you were getting ready I'm not so sure Id be totally cool with that, it is their vacation but that was the one day they were suppose to be there for you. But it kind of helps me in knowing that people really make their own fun..hopefully.

marieSam- we're planning a welcome dinner once we arrive. We're entertaining the idea of hosting a very informal "meet & greet" the week before we leave. What are you planning?

Here's another question then....once we do all these events so that everyone gets to know each other what are our respnsibilties/obligations beyond that? How far should a bride and groom go to make sure that their guests are having a good time. Its great to say they'll find their own fun but what if they don't? Is it not our responsibility to make sure that they are? What should be we doing through the day to ensure that? Do I need to make a point of walking the resort once a day to make sure everyone's having that good time?

ok I'm still stressing :S

In their welcome packet (I sent it out two weeks prior to departure) I gave them a list of things we would be doing. Also a time line of the welcome dinner, any tours (zip lining) that we were doing as a group, etc.

It worked out quite well, since people met us when they could. A lot of people who weren't staying at our hotel, would just drop by and hang out at the beach and/or pool with us...it was quite cool.

In the end it worked out just fine. Most people will find you and make that extra effort.