Nov 08 brides

Oh Steph,

Honey, I am so, so sorry for all that you are going through right now. My heart just aches hearing that this is happening. That strong spirit and drive that you have as a police officer will always be a part of who you are. That drive and determination will guarantee success at your next venture in life.

I wish I was there to give you a great big hug because you sound so heartbroken and defeated. Just know that you can cry on my shoulder any time.

After the 15th, take some time off and get your thoughts together. I was thinking, have you ever thought about working with your local Sheriff's department or a correctional facility for youth or women? Maybe something where you can still serve, but on a different level? I know you mentioned that you wanted to go into the travel agent business, but just something for thought. Keep in touch and know that you are in my prayers.

Love ya,

Celina

I'm sorry you've been going through so much lately!! Hang in there Stephanie

Steph I hope you are feeling better soon... we are all thinking of ya!! Big november group hug

Where's everybody at today?

I'm impatiently waiting the arrival of 5 o'clock so i can start my weekend.

I'm giving dogs bath tonight. fun huh? tomorrow, i have a vet appointment for one dog and two bday parties, 1 6 year old's and then an adult party. Hopefully be cleaning on Sunday and relaxing.

alls been pretty quite on this thread lately.

i'm in a pissy mood today. you know those days where you feel super crazy fat all over? Like you're going to bust out of your clothes. That's how I feel today. And I'm pissed. It's 2 months until the wedding and I'm not at the weight I wanted to be at. And we were engaged for 1.5 years +. So It's not like I didn't have the time. So basically I feel super fat, and in feeling super fat i'm really pissed off at myself for being such a slacker.

I'm here!

I have been busy trying to reach my goals of accomplishments for the week. PLUS - It's DNC craziness here right now...but that's another story.

ANYHOW - I have to tell someone this or I am going to burst. I'll try to make it as short as I can......

When I was almost 4 years old my mom died. My bio mom and dad were separated at the time. My dad was dating a lady who eventually became my stepmom. She had 5 kids - we grew up sort of like the Brady Bunch. Growing up, she was my mom and I never saw her differently. I never referred to her as my step mom - she was always mom. Her kids were our sisters and brother (she had 4 daughters and 1 son). The daughters lived with us from time to time, but her son never really did. In my early 20's my parents divorced. (here's where it gets yucky)

As her kids grew up they always had drama. I started seeing favoritism with my mom and her biological grandkids versus me and my younger sis's kids and didn't like it. Slowly my younger sis and I drifted apart from her and our step sisters. In 2005 She got really sick with her pancreas and was in the hospital for 8 months. I knew she was in the hospital and didn't see her. She eventually passed away and that has been almost 3 years ago. It was actually almost two weeks after I had my son. (He'll be 3 - Dec. 12th)

My younger sister and I agreed that we would not go to her funeral. I sent a huge flower arrangement, but did not go. I must say that this has been the biggest regret of my life.

Now that my younger sis and I aren't talking I have had time to reflect on a lot of things. One of them being the fact that I grew up with these girls as my stepsisters and went through a lot of life experiences with them, and we no longer speak. I know that part of it has to do with the fact that younger sis and I have cut our ties with eachother, and my older sis and I have nothing in common so I am really searching for some "family" to connect with.

Well, over the past two months I have really wanted to see my step sisters and talk to them and see how they are. They all had kids and their kids were my nieces and nephews growing up and I haven't seen them either.

I mentioned all of this to my dad last week and he said, "Celina - some things are better left as they are." Meaning - don't call them - get over it.

Well - I had to reach out today because it has been so heavy on my mind and heart that I couldn't take it anymore. I called a friend who knows them and I actually got a phone number for one of my nephews.

So I call the number and he answered. I said, "Hi is this Jose?" - he said "yes" - I said, "this is Celina". He goes, "Celina?....Celina.....AUNTIE CELINA?!!" I said "yes". He was so excited he could have jumped through the phone! I just started bawling. We talked for a while and he gave me my step sister's phone number. I called it and her daughter answered. She was excited to talk to me too. She said her mom gets home at 2:30 (ten minutes ago). She said she would give her my number and have her call me, or I could call her back.

My question after this whole long story is....should I tell my dad or not?

What was sad is the two kids I spoke to (who are now in their 20's) both asked about my dad and said to tell him hi. He was the only grandfather they knew.

My dad has a new wife (yes - wife #3) and she is kind of insecure about the step kids so my dad has always stood away. When the step kids have seen her, they are always overly nice to her to make her feel comfortable, but it is still awkward. What should I do? I am thinking of just keeping my little secret all to myself.