Who invites themselves to a wedding?

So, I know that many of you have had to deal with uninvited guests. I just had my first experience with this on Saturday.

 

One of FI's friends has a new gf (like 2 months or so and he goes thru them like tissues lol). We all travelled together on Saturday to a race for my FI. I had met her once before, but only had said hi to her and went on my way. Well, first second we're alone together she tells me about a friend of hers who's FI called her up and cancelled the wedding 3 days before. Great story for a btb to hear. lol Then her bf comes over and says something about what he's planning to wear at the wedding and she says "I'm going to wear this dress... blah blah blah" I'm thinking, Where the ef are you going? I ignore it because I don't want to get into wedding talk with someone who is soooo not invited. Then, later in the night she tells me how she recently cancelled a trip so she has a credit with the airline she is going to use for Mexico and how she's so excited for my wedding.

 

I really don't get how people think its ok to just invite themselves. Its not a freakin vacation. ITS MY WEDDING!!! I have not sent out invites yet and I'm a pretty blunt person, so I don't forsee this being a real problem. I will tell her she's not invited and I will tell her bf the same. I have good friends that I didn't invite because we want something small and intimate. We specifically chose a certain group so that the vibe will be what we want, kwim? Its amazing how many people just don't get it. I'm not going to look back at pictures from all of our events in ten years and have to try to remember who the hell that girl is...

 

Ok, that's my bridezilla moment of the day!

Thanks for listening, even tho the story is a familiar one.

good for you for sticking up for yourself! if the friend goes thru girls like tissues, she won't even be around for the invitation part.

That's funny. I like how she just assumed that she was invited to YOUR wedding. And if his friend goes through women like tissues and I'm sure she is aware of this how does she even know that she will still be around. I'm glad your sticking to your guest plan. You want an intimate affair with the people you and your FI love and care about, not some bimbo who is just the flavor of the month. The nerve of her.

Yeah, I kind of figure she won't be around, but I just couldn't believe her. So just to avoid any "confusion", I have also decided to pre-fill my reply cards with people's names.

I wish I did that.

I am so pre-filling my reply card too. I don't blame you either. It's your wedding and your paying for it (or someone is) and it's about who you want. I just had this conversation with my father about my 1/2 brother who is 15 years younger than me and lives in California and whom I've talked to for all of 5 minutes in my entire life. I told my father I'm not inviting him and he was like, well it is blood, and I was like this is true, but he's still not invited with how expensive each plate is and I don't even really know him. Same convo with a guy friend like yours, and I told him no he can't bring some chick I don't even know...plus why would he bring sand to the beach...hahaha

 

So you go gurl and stick to your guns!

Unbelievable. People are warped. I had a co-worker tell me her feelings were hurt because she wasn't invited, this after asking how much the TA wanted down because she wants to take a vacation in June so the timing is perfect. I never invited her, she heard about the TA thing from a co-worker I did invite because we are actually friends. I told her she could not come but it's just the nerve of people.....

 

Hang in there, odds are some other fool will try this down the line so stick to your guns!

I think most people assume that they will be invited "and guest". If you're not doing that be very up front about it with the people you are inviting so there are no hurt feelings or missed expectations from them. But note, you are asking people to travel quite a long way and pay a good sum to attend, so you may end up with extras there - they may not be going to the wedding events, but you can bet they'll be in the area.

 

Once they get that message, the tissue girlfriends won't be sharing stories of what they will (or won't! Ha!) be wearing to your wedding.

HAHA! That gave me so much joy reading it... Where the eff are YOU going

:) Classic.

Well, dear, as you know, weddings make everyone insane and LOTS of people ASSUME they are coming to DWs, whether they know you or not.
Stick to your guns.
My cousin asked me if she could invite the friend of a friend of hers that I had NEVER met before. I said, F*CK, no!
The thing that kills me repeatedly is why anyone would assume they can invite anyone to YOUR wedding? People are truly insane.
Let her keep thinking she's invited and when the invitations go out, voila. Who knows, that guy may not even be dating her by then.
But I will add on this one thing: Sometimes the people you MOST expect to be at you wedding, don't come. And the ones you least expect, are totally there. It's pretty fun.
Still, don't feel you need to invite her out of pity or cause she decided what she is going to wear to the wedding she isn't even invited to.

That's weird, I can't understand why some people assume they're invited. Especially if they hardly know you. A wedding is an intimate event that's to be for close friends and family.