Am I being selfish???

God i'm so mad I can't see the bigger picture so i'm hoping someone can either say yes I have a point or no i'm being a selfish cow lol

So when we were trying to decide where we were going to get married, FI said well it has to be somewhere with kids because one of his best friends has 3 kids, I said yeah ok, even though I would have loved to go to an adults only resort as his friend was the only one going with kids.

Anyway we tell him the resort, give him a rough idea of price and say look it is going to be expensive but its one of the best places for kids. He said fine no problem.

So when it finally comes to it we all book he hangs back a few weeks and then surprise surprise he said i've had a quote for the 5 of us and its just too expensive!!! wtf did he think it was going to be cheap for 5 of them!!!

Then the best bit he says well we're still coming but we are going to pick a different resort thats cheaper. Luckily for FI (lol) he said thats fine but if you don't stay at the hotel you are paying the extra $ to get in because we are already paying for a reception.

So i'm furious that i'm now stuck at a bloody kids resort when I don't have to be, other people have booked so its not as if i can change it wahhhh!!!

Am I being selfish? lol

a tough one, I don't think you are being selfish, you picked the venue based on him and now he has changed it to where he wants to stay. not sure there is much you can do though. just drink more and you wont even notice the kids at the resort he he. try not to let it bother you, this sort of thing happens to most weddings.. sorry not much help am I.. chin up

Hmmm, sounds familiar, same thing basically happened to us. We chose a family oriented resort because BM was bringing his 4 kids (only 1 under 12). We warned it would be pricey. Originally our BM told us that if it was too expensive just he would come to the wedding. When he heard the quote aprox 8.5K it was a no way I am not paying that (don't blame him)...he could get a better price at another resort. Our response was basically the same as yours it cost $XX to get on the resort on the day and another $XX for the evening of the wedding. He then tried to guilt us over how much it would cost to get a sitter for the week and that he'd have to pay him MIL's wages while she looked after the kids. FH and I felt like crap, even looked at trying to get a cheaper resort for kids. Funny thing happened, I accidentally found out they are going to Mexico at some point next month, so my guilt instantly went away. We are however still stuck with the family oriented resort because he's not sure if his whole family will be coming. Our resort however is large enough that you can avoid kids if you want to.

I say get your FH to sit down and talk to him about if the whole family will actually be coming. If they are, I'd say stick at the kid friendly resort. The day & night pass fees are insane and most likely they will stay at the same resort as you and not need it. If no children coming, then by all means definitely change to somewhere that will make your day special if you really do not want to be around children. Just be sure to communicate well to your guests about the change, but try to be make it sould like the change is about something other than children not coming. People with children may get offended.

I don't think your being selfish...we had originally chosen Le Blanc to get married at because it was adult only because we thought we were going to be having a small wedding. However sooo many people have said they are coming now, and H2B's family have lots of children, so we changed to Moon Palace. Moon Palace does look amazing though, and the wedding package is cheaper, with more included, so from that point of view we were lucky. With that in mind, we will still get married at Moon Palace even if not one child comes (never going to happen anyway!) but the day after the wedding we are moving to Le Blanc for our "honeymoon".

We actually chose Mexico in the wedding brochures BECAUSE of Le Blanc!! So there was no way we were giving up on it completely!

I would have loved to have went to Dreams because of the dolphins, it looks amazing...think the only reason we really didn't seriously look into Dreams is because its not as big as Moon Palace...maybe look into moving resorts after your wedding??

Good luck!

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UH, I dont think that I was selfish when I chose a non kiddy friendly resort.... Who wants to bring their 3 kids on a vacation- they should take the opportunity to have a second honeymoon themselves... but then thats my opinion. Im a teacher and honestly sometimes I dont want to see anyone under 14 years of age ever ever ever... until I get back to work! lol

Not selfish, in fact even if you had initially went with the adults only resort knowing he had kids you wouldn't be selfish - it's your wedding. Now you're stuck at the family resort instead of an adults-only like you wanted. That is just wrong and I'm sorry!

The only thing worse on his part would be if he asked you to move the wedding to his new resort...lol Sorry to joke because it stinks...and it is proof once again that you should do what you want because people are flakes. (it's not his fault he can't afford it, it's his fault for not doing the math sooner thereby making a promise he couldn't keep - flake!) You'll still have a wonderful wedding but it is super annoying...best of luck

i don't think you are being selfish - but you made the choice to pick Dreams based on accomodating them - if they choose not to take advantage of what you and FI thought would be best, you can't really blame them. the important thing is that they are still coming (!!) and that you are getting married at a beautiful resort.

have you asked the other dreams brides about their experiences with kids - were there lots and all that?

ALSO P.S. - i need you to make a siggy pic collage or how else am i going to see more pics of that Rottie? WTF?

You're not being selfish at all, but this is a hard one. I can't imagine that flying 5 people to a DW would be affordable. Are the kids not staying there for free? I know if it's under 12 usually they don't pay. Can I TA help him get a better deal at the resort you're staying at? Also, I still think you'll have a very beautiful and enjoyable wedding!

I don't think you are being selfish at all... maybe you can go to the adult resort for your honeymoon.

I understand why you're upset. You basically picked a resort to please/accomodate this guy and his family and now he's not even staying there.

What's done is done so just focus on your wedding and don't let him get you down. Make the most of your big day. You will have a great time, no matter what.

Resorts with kids can be fun and some of them even have adults-only designated areas/pools.

Just don't give that guy the upper hand in letting him know that you're upset.

You are the bride and the star of the show, after all